Why do you think kids gets addicted to screens and aggressive when they're taken away?

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Ive seen the loveliest of children turn in an instant to a moody aggressive monster when the tablet/phone is taken away

So for example, my very friend's very placid 5yo is a sweet little thing. If we're having a long boring chat or whatever, occasionally her DD will be allowed to play some puzzle game or similar on the phone. She's given a warning turn it off in X minutes/to the end of this puzzle/one more go on level etc.
When it comes to taking the device away, she'll shout "no!" Or refuse, and when the device is in the hands of the parent, she will very aggressively say something like "Give. It. Back. Now!" ... It never works, and she will be banned from it for the rest of the day/suitable time frame.

She doesn't do this with other things, like colouring books, cars etc when it's time to pack up. She'll happily finish her bit of colouring (let's say, finish the flower petal) and pack up. No aggression, no whining,no pleads for "just one more minute"

And she's definitely not the only child to react this way. I've seen it a lot.

What is it about 'screens' that make them addictive and bring out this nastiness do you think?

So on the basis of one young child all screens are bad and turn children violent when they're removed?

Not a very big sample to base your conclusions on. I guess science wasn't your strong point at school?

My 10 yr DS loves his screens and is a complete delight. He's very academic, attends a science club at the local University, learnt to read early etc. and uses his iPad to listen to audiobooks at bedtime. He's never turned aggressive when asked to remove his screen.

Therefore, should I conclude that using an iPad from a young age makes you brainier?

I didn't say one child...i said I've seen it multiple times. I just illustrated with that one child....

And I'm not saying ALL children.
And I'm not saying screens are bad....

I was just asking what it is about screens that brings out this kind of behaviour...

Screens are addictive on a number of different levels. This article is lengthy but fairly comprehensive:

www.google.com/amp/s/www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/the-pathways-experience/201809/screen-addiction-what-are-we-looking%3famp

Hmmm I was totally off the idea of screens until I watched a doc on the bbc. In moderation I believe screens are actually good. All the puzzles ect being on there also save space in the home and it’s environmentally friendly. Like when kindles came out, all your books and entertainment on one, Or iPods.🤷🏼‍♀️

It can improve fine motor skills too, with the swiping pincher movement needed to turn pages or in games. 💁🏼‍♀️

I do think moderation is important, same as with the tv or any screens. Parents should also be out doing things with their sprouts, swimming, music groups or days out. 🏊🏻‍♀️🎪

I think part of it is age; young children just can't regulate their usage/need for screens so it can bring out poor behaviour in them. In your example, though, a 5 year old won't always have the skills to negotiate positively for something, so her saying "give it back now" is simply her being a five year old who's cross, and she'll outgrow that at some point, but it's not monster behaviour.

I teach Reception and we use iPads in our classroom regularly. I limit them in terms of how they're used but the DC rarely react poorly to the end of iPad time. The ones who do aren't chastised for it, but gently reminded. Being spoken to gently without any kind of "punishment" means they tend to listen to me and cooperate better than children who are shamed into behaving nicely.

My DC don't react this way to screens, in fact the only DC I know who do react this way are the ones whose parents are very controlling of screen time.

Anecdotally, DS was absolutely addicted to his xbox/PlayStation. It was when Fortnite was at the height of popularity and he was like a different child. He didn’t want to do anything except play on his games and everything else was boring.

His whole temperament changed he was either tense and wound up or staring at his screen like a zombie. He’d rage when he lost a game and the whole family was being affected by his mood. After reading so many horror stories on here and in real life about grown men addicted to gaming, kids not leaving their rooms, teenagers with no motivation or interest outside of their bedrooms I made a decision to get rid of it.

I didn’t tell DS. I waited until he was at his dads one day and took everything out of the house and sold it. When he came back I sat him down and told him it was gone, would not be coming back and that was that. I gave him the money from selling them as they had been his presents.

He went fucking ballistic. For about two weeks he was furious, he cried, begged, moaned and banged around the house. I didn’t waver in the slightest. Consoles were banned and that was that.

That was about 6 months ago and he doesn’t even mention it anymore. He had a brilliant summer holiday, was out of the house with his mates from 9-6 everyday at the pool or on their bikes. He’s a different kid now. It was one of the hardest but best things I’ve ever done.

I would never have a console in my house again. He does have a phone but I control screen time really carefully and he puts it down when told.

We got a tablet when my eldest started school for reading eggs/ mathletics etc.
He is fine with limited time on his tablet.

My 3yo would flick through kids youtube endlessly and becomes very angry & tearful when it's the me to switch off - similar to how the OP describes above, so his time is now very limited.

I do think it's about the individual temperament on how they react, but undoubtedly there an addictive element - I think screens are quite emersive and they don't like being pulled out of their fantasy land of endless toys & talking dogs which is infinitely more fun than real life.

I would imagine the aggressiveness is down to lack of boundaries in the first place. I tell my children how long they get on their devices, will often put a timer on or do a 5 minute warning. Everyone knows where they stand then.

(And if they got aggressive they would be banned!)

@Rapidmama yes we banned fortnite too. My eldest just changed, any other game he could take or leave, fortnite took over his life and changed his personality. So it's banned, he was surprisingly ok about it, I think he felt freed!!

@Rapidmama
You got rid of his X-box without telling him? Don't you think this could be regarded as an excessive punishment compared to the supposed crime, especially as you don't appear to have discussed the issue with him or attempted to find alternative resolution first?

For instance, what would have happened if you'd just removed/deleted Fortnite but allowed him to play other games?

I'd heard some horror stories about Fortnite a while ago so I decided that DS wouldn't have access to it until he's older and discussed my reasons with him. He wasn't bothered by the ban at all as he's into different types of games and puzzles.

You only have to look at most adults with their phones to see how addictive screens are.

With our dc we’ve found it’s when they’re using screens for ‘always on’ stuff eg YouTube where the next video plays, then the next, then the next that their behaviour is affected.

We limit screen time quite a lot more than most we know - our dc have no screens at all (including tv) on weekdays, but a reasonable amount of access at weekends (though this is fairly structured). Our dc are far happier for it so it works for us as a family.

We haven't bought our DC tablets, but I do let them use mine to watch YouTube kids. They also watch it on my phone. DC1 aged 6 has started to get into games. This summer I downloaded some free Lego games that he really enjoys. The trouble is he gets totally addicted and it's all he can think about. Waking early to ask to play, going on and on about it, and getting aggressive when told no or it is taken away. Turns into a different child. It became such a problem in the holidays that I hid the tablet and said it was broken for about 3 weeks. Just this week we've been letting him go on it again for 10/15mins. Started off OK, but soon back to aggressive behaviour.

I honestly feel like breaking the bloody thing and never buying one again, or a games console. However, I feel like in this day and age it's inevitable that he'll need to use one for homework etc eventually.

There are so many reasons.
Some of it is about end points.
In your example you compared colouring one more leaf to perhaps 5 more minutes. (I know its just one example) but sometimes with games 5 minutes means stopping with half a leaf coloured and next time you turn on the leaf has gone. In other games you work as a team to colour the leaf and you leaving means the whole team cant finish.
Also its a huge industry of people working to make the games addictive to make money.
And personality makes a big difference - one of my children is more screen addictable than the other.

My son gets half an hour of screen time perday, apart from Friday evenings when we sit and watch a film together. He isn’t fussed about the end of tv time, the end of lego time however is a completely different matter!

They are developed to take advantage of addictive loops which means they can cause addictive behaviour.

@SconeofDestiny, there had been many many conversations before this. Sanctions, bargains, rewards for coming off. None of it worked. Fortnite was the crux but it could have easily been any other game.

I refuse to have a teenager who doesn’t want to leave his room, who has no social life except talking to his mates over a mic, not in this life! How many threads do you see on here about husbands obsessed with gaming. Boys failing exams or with no mates because all they want to do is game. It taps into the brains reward system just like a mouse being taught to hit the right button for some cheese.

Like I said, I gave him the money. I didn’t just steal his xbox.

Because some very, very bright people in Silicon Valley design apps, games & networks to be as addictive as possible using various psychological techniques of reward and reinforcement. They do this to deliver their users ‘eyeballs’ to their customers, the advertisers, thereby monetising their product.

MN works on exactly the same principle, of course.

I'm not sure why they get so addicted, as a pp said maybe it's because they are so immersive.

Or maybe it's to do with the fact that theres always something new? So eg if my niece is watching a YouTube video she can keep flicking to something else if she gets bored, and when the video ends it just autoplays another one so its completely non stop?

Interesting question. Of my 2 dc I have one who can take or leave screens. She can self moderate and take breaks and balance play and exercise well (I had flu for a week and we were in survival mode). But ds is a different story. He forgets to eat, even if the food is beside him. He gets, not aggressive exactly, but very wound up and upset or angry when time is up. He would glue himself to a screen all day and come away with a headache and bloodshot eyes. And it seems to go round and round in his head. He wouldn’t concentrate well after, and has disturbed sleep.
He’s also got asd so that’s probably a factor.

I’ve found that having a specific time to play rather than an allowance of time works better. And the rule is that you can have 5 minutes grace to finish up, but if you keep playing you lose that much time off your next session.

If I could eliminate it altogether I think it would be better. You treat a gambling addiction by giving it up, and I think it’s very similar. But screens are everywhere now so I have to try and teach him the self management skills. Or at least try. But I suspect he will struggle with this as an adult.

I’ve talked to various cyber professionals (for want of a term) and the general message I get is that it’s not an addiction, like a chemical dependency, and just something made up by the media. I think there’s also a tendency to look at general effects. If you combined data from dd and ds, and average it, you won’t see an effect. But just because it doesn’t affect all people doesn’t mean it isn’t affecting some.