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Original poster

Nearly 7yo detests swimming lessons

29 replies

Crunchymum · 08/09/2019 08:10

Shall I just call it a day?

He started about 4 months ago (has always had a "thing" about water on his face / in his eyes but we worked on this)

He just doesn't participate and often spends most of the lesson sulking in the swimming pool steps. Even the instructor said he may not be ready she suggested a break (I've bit taken him for a month) and she didn't want him to have negative associations.

DP takes him swimming weekly for fun and he is OK, even goes down a big slide on his own.

Its first lesson back today and he has begged not to go?

Shall I just cancel his course?

FWIW his younger sister (4yo) has lessons at the same time and she absolutely loves it.

7yo is NT but I suspect there is some kind of sensory issues (he is an incredibly restrictive eater for example!)

Any advice. DP says I should make him go for a few more weeks?

OP posts:

Original poster

Crunchymum · 08/09/2019 08:11

excuse typos

OP posts:

BertrandRussell · 08/09/2019 08:12

Yep . Cancel. He can keep going with his dad.

ChildminderMum · 08/09/2019 08:15

I'd do a course of 1:1 lessons.

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forkfun · 08/09/2019 08:16

Def cancel. What's the point? Let him have fun when he goes with his dad. He can learn swimming later.

Mrsbclinton · 08/09/2019 08:17

I would cancel lessons and let him go for fun with his Dad.

Starlight456 · 08/09/2019 08:18

I would either try 1:1 , different pool or get dh help him swim.

DonPablo · 08/09/2019 08:19

Our training pool has SEN lessons. Max 3 to a group, the teacher is patient, kind, and up to a point let's the kids potter around in the pool until they're ready to join in, and then they join in as they want. My ds is in the group because he has no buoyancy at all. The little girl with him has sensory issues and hates the floats. So she doesn't use the floats. Such a lovely lesson. Do yours do anything like that?

raspberrypancakes · 08/09/2019 08:20

I was the same and my mum cancelled them. I'm so glad, I remember really not enjoying it. They just took me for fun after that and I think made me not hate swimming.

angelopal · 08/09/2019 08:26

DD hated water and didn't want to leave the steps. We changed to 1:1 lessons and she has made really good progress and has moved back to group lessons.

BrokenWing · 08/09/2019 08:37

If group lessons don't work for him the alternative is 1-1 lessons or get a book and try yourself.

If you can afford them, 1-1 lessons (ours were just 20 mins a lesson) with the right instructor in the water with him, could have him swimming all strokes strongly with a brilliant technique in 6-9 months instead of years of group lessons with very slow progress and poor technique.

Duckegg271 · 08/09/2019 08:41

I’d try a different pool first. DS did lessons at the local leisure centre and hated them-group too big, kids mucking about, water freezing cold. We switched to ones at a local therapeutic pool, 3 in a group and he loved it. It was with ‘swim for sure’.

If that fails then leave it. Keep taking him for fun to build his confidence up.

BertrandRussell · 08/09/2019 08:42

Why does he need to be able to “swim all strokes strongly with brilliant technique”? Who, for example, needs butterfly?

Laquila · 08/09/2019 08:44

Is there an element of contrariness?

My son has always enjoyed the water but disliked getting water on his face. At about 4yrs we took him for his first lesson and it was disastrous - we tried again a couple of times but then left it for a good 8 months or so. During that time we went on holiday and his whole attitude to water changed - now he absolutely loves going underwater and splashing about, and has come on really well in his group lessons.

BUT, he’s also ridiculously contrary, and has a habit of moaning prior to each lesson that he doesn’t want to go. If I say “OK fine, we’ll cancel them - I’ll call your teacher and tell her you aren’t coming back”, he miraculously decides he does want to go swimming after all (sometimes a bit begrudgingly).

In your position I would probably stop the lessons, keep going with you/his dad, and then maybe reintroduce the idea of lessons in a few months.

Henrysnoopy · 08/09/2019 08:44

I'm a swimmer teacher and I have a boy who doesnt like getting his face in he is currently in one to one lessons. It sounds like he needs one to one lessons and to promote learning through play.

BookwormMe2 · 08/09/2019 08:44

Mine reacted the same at that age. We cancelled lessons and continued going for fun and now, three years down the line, they love swimming and have mastered the strokes themselves.

notso · 08/09/2019 08:50

I'd stop and continue going for fun.
DS1 is a great swimmer, and has only ever had the lessons they have through school. The rest of the time we or GP's have taken him for fun.

Original poster

Crunchymum · 08/09/2019 09:18

Unfortunately 1:1 lessons aren't feasible (money, logistics, time) and to be honest I think it's the whole "lesson" environment he dislikes.

He isn't diagnosed with any SEN so cant have those lessons

I'm not going to be one of those posters who naysays every suggestion but DP is going to have to stop taking him as he is due to be away for 8 weeks (work)

I was thinking to stick him in an intensive course in the October holidays? We've done this a few times and he seemed better with daily lessons as opposed to weekly?

OP posts:

BertrandRussell · 08/09/2019 09:29

No big deal. Wait til do comes back. Or take him yourself?

Henrysnoopy · 08/09/2019 09:37

I was going to suggest intensive sessions sometimes they do 121 intensive sessions for a week at a discounted price as an intensive to book on shop around and have a look op.

ItsInTheSpoon · 08/09/2019 09:41

If you’re anywhere near Kidderminster I thoroughly recommend Neptune Learn to Swim. Transformed my DS’s fear!

BertrandRussell · 08/09/2019 09:41

Kid hates swimming lessons so make him do an intensive week of them. Right.

Original poster

Crunchymum · 08/09/2019 09:59

@BertrandRussell

He actually seems better if he does 5 days in a row. We've done it a few times, granted he still cant swim!!

The weekly sessions give him too much time between to realise how much he dislikes them iyswim.

OP posts:

Autumnintheair · 08/09/2019 10:00

Don't force him. Let himself stop.

BTW re 1:1 my dd had 4 lessons to get her up to speed we only started extra swimming lessons at age 9. Then she joined the group and was swimming shortly after that and then caught up to her peers (swimming for years and years and years) shortly after that all by age 10.

Once she could swim suitable no. Of lengths she stopped.

So I'd let him stop... Come back to it in few years, the money you save put aside for a couple of one to one when he's older to give him boost.

BertrandRussell · 08/09/2019 10:06

If he’s done several intensive courses and still can’t swim, then don’t do another one! Just wait a while. It’ll be fine. There is a lot of rubbish talked about the necessity of early swimming.

BarbaraStrozzi · 08/09/2019 10:38

Cancel the lessons. He may be in a more amenable place to try again when he's a little older - seven is still very young.

Also (this may get me flamed) ask yourself how important it is that he learns to swim? I'm not entirely convinced that it is the vital life skill it's made out to be. Most drownings in this country are people who can swim but not brilliantly getting into difficulties because they misjudge a situation - jumping into a cold lake on a hot day not realising they'll get cramp, getting caught in a rip tide, getting washed away on an inflatable. People who know they can't swim generally don't put themselves in those situations.

Sometimes it is a good idea. I made sure my DS learned to swim because he's a sporty, adventurous child and we live near the sea - and I want him to know about and respect water before he becomes a teen and he and his friends get to the "egging each other on to do stupid things"stage (which round here includes "tombstoning"). Next summer I'm planning on sending him on one of the sea safety courses run by the lifeguards on some of the local beaches.

But not every child is in this situation, and if you have a genuine phobia of water (as my father has) it's pretty unlikely you'd get yourself into a situation where you'd be at risk of drowning.

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