Naughty 4 year old

[Carlton123]

Hi just seeing if anyone can give me any tips on how to deal with my 4 year old, he has been really naughty recently not doing as he is told, shouting at me or saying he is not bothered if I threaten to take something away from him as a punishment, when we go out somewhere when it’s timd to leave I literally have to chase him and it’s embarrassing when I’m out, I’ve tried to talk to him before we go out and say he will get a treat if he behaves, I just don’t know what to do with him, he is my 1st and this is all new to me, if any one can help me

My Ds is nearly 4 and is exactly the same, and this week after being back at nursery is ten times worse!

We use a reward chart- ours is a snake shape divided into sections and the kids move up the snake if they're good and move down if they're naughty. Over the holiday I blue tacked 50p on occasional spaces as prizes which worked well.

We also have a step (we don't call it naughty step, just 'the step') for things like biting, hurting, or any kind of screaming, tantrumming, general kicking off. He sits on it for 3 minutes in those circumstances.

The key is to be consistent. Reward lots of minor things to get him interested in the reward chart and Also to give you some leverage. And always give a warning, then follow through, but Pick your battles!

We have a step but it does nothing he just plays on it doesn’t bother him at all, I really like the idea of a treat chart did you make that yourself? I’m really struggling to handle him when we are out he runs off and I’ve got an 8 month old so makes it harder to run after him

Have you got a little life backpack or a wrist strap?

This could massively put me if anyone knows me on here!
He's called Drake the Good behaviour snake! The boys each have a token with bluetac on the back to move up and there's the star spaces which are for prizes/cold hard cash. When they get to the top they get a special treat like an extra late bedtime or extra computer time. It works well because it's so simple. The threat of moving down the snake is often enough.

Unfortunately, my littlest Ds is just very difficult sometimes, he's very bright, but he has a fiery temper and lashes out a lot, plus does the classic naughty things like draws on walls, rips books, drops things in the toilet etc. My other two never did things like this!

We use the step more for calming down than punishment, a bit like you say really, if they are very headstrong they just get off again so it becomes a battle of wills. I vow never to get into a battle of wills with him, he will most likely win.

One day last week I was sat on the bottom step as I'd been on hold on the phone so stayed there to finish my coffee and Ds said to me: no drinking on the step mummy, you're supposed to be thinking about what you did.
Which proves it clearly works!!