Ds just literally shat in his hands and clapped....

[Niyamamama]

Ds is 2 and has recently become interested in the contents of his nappy. He just casually strolled into the living room holding two turds and as I jumped up to intervene him he clapped his hands together, Home Alone style.

Please tell me age 3 gets better...

The other day I got woken up by DD (who had just stuck her hand down her nappy) with 'So, that's what wee tastes like!'

Followed rapidly by fingers stuck under my nose, 'You try Mummy!'

My children have actually never been interested but my nephew has... one morning my brother walked in to his bedroom and apparently had smeared poo all over the walls, toys and his bedding! 😂

This thread is gross and hilarious. I had no idea really kids did this.

Thats the funniest thing I've read all day!

...Yes it does get easier! x

I just sprayed DH with Sauvignon laughing at this thread.

Last night DD, aged 2, was in the bath. I turned back round after folding some towels to see her looking shifty. I spotted the huge poo she had launched onto the bath mat just in time!

I'm laughing so hard at these, karma is going to get me in a couple of years as my son is only 8 weeks at the moment!!!

Oh scrap the above karma has just kicked in, in the form of my dog, he has just thrown up all over the sofa and attempted to eat it 🙄

Brilliant 😂😂

I am laughing so much, I have just woken my 5 month old from her pre-bed time, snooze-on-mummy. 😂
My eldest never did anything so disgusting. I am praying that this one follows in her big sister's footsteps!

Hmm. My just 3 year old has recently become interested in wiping her own bottom after a poo. Recently in a public toilet she had a go at this and before I could stop her, scrumpled up the poo covered toilet paper and stuffed it in the top of the (clean) toilet paper dispenser. So I can't promise 3 gets better!

This thread should be printed out and handed to teen girls in health class.

Job done.

When DD was potty training she pooped her pants in the living room. I was in the bathroom when she came in with sticky hands and a slightly familiar smell. I couldn't put my finger on what the smell was. So before I cleaned her up I went to quickly investigate....😐 she'd smeared poop on my carpet and bookcase in an attempt to clean it up even used her blanket. I screamed for about 20 minutes thinking I was going to have to cut a hole in the bloody carpet and chuck away the fecking bookcase. Funnily enough she never pooped herself again. I may have traumatised her😬

Dear God...

LTB(rat).

A printout of this - together with photos (and of post section overhang, episiotomy stitches and real stretch marks from 9 pounder babies, not the cute little 'tiger stripes' that get shown in arty black and white photos online), should reduce not just the teenage birth rate, but that of everybody with an ounce of common sense

We were on holiday once and had run out of my sons pants 🙄 so he had to wear his sisters until we could get to a shop. He proceeded to force a shit out into said pants and sit on the floor squishing it in, just so he wouldn't have to wear them. All over the injustice of having to wear his sisters pants for half an hour 🤦🏻‍♀️

Well you've made me feel better about my day op

Am proper cackling at MotherOf’s DS’s dirty protest.

I don’t remember either of mine handling their own poop (thank The Lord), but DS vommed right on my face aged about 12 months, having just eaten a load of cheese. My fault for playing aeroplanes right after lunch

My daughter (now aged 23) once shat and smeared it all over her cot
Her travel cot-she was staying at her grandparents house and they hadn’t put her baby grow on as it was baking hot
They didn’t have her to stay again for about 5 years
My dad still cringes at the smell

Was wiping my 3.5's bottom when he casually remarks 'oh mummy there's more' and then proceeded to shit all over my hand. It squished out quite a bit because my hand was quite close to the point of exit. That was fun

He also once had a spectacular night of vomiting over just about everything. Thought he was finally done and stuck him in my bed (his bed was trashed and wet from all the wiping and soaking and sponging). He woke me up the next morning by vomiting in my mouth. My actual mouth.

My two year old has refused to wear knickers all afternoon. It's a hard age

When ds2 was a toddler he discovered he liked the contents of his pull up pants. So at about 1 and a half years old he would walk around with one had in his pull ups and sucking the thumb on his other hand, except the hands were interchangeable.

I had to be constantly on guard with him but there were many times I had to remove a hand from a pooey pull up, he could get inside a pair of trousers, a body suit and the pull up to get to the contents. He even got inside dungarees, I don't know how he managed it.

There were a few times I'd be busy with ds1 and come back to ds2 to find he had done a poo, put his hand in his pants, removed said hand and then started sucking his thumb. Thankfully ds1 is two years older than ds2 so I soon learned to keep them together to sort them out or could leave ds1 to his own devices for a bit, so I could keep a really close eye on ds2 until I got him to stop eating his poo. Took a few months though, it didn't bother him that he did it!

The worst ds1 ever did was eat half a slug from in the back yard, managed to fish the other half out before it went down too.

👊 Of solidarity to all the other parents currently going through the poop art phase...

DD was never like this. She was the best toddler ever so well behaved, never ran off, never threw a tantrum. 'Spirited' ds however.... DD also potty trained in a week with barely an accident. I decided to introduce the potty to ds in the hope that in might stop the nappy invasions. Nope, not interested. Although he has perfected the art of grabbing a mug off the table, weeing into it then putting it back and wandering off 🤦‍♀️