Family torn apart by actions of MiL

[masirah]

My Mil has made it clear from when my DD was 7yo that ehe didnt like her. No reason given, just didnt like her.
Moving on 25 years Mil organised a surprise party for my SiL inviting friends of SiL who she hadn't seen in a while.
On being asked by wife and new DiL about who was attending she made it known that DD was not invited. DD has been a bit busy in her life for about a year now due to hospital visits and the unwanted attentions of an ex who was stalking and threatening to kill her. Police involvement seems to have stopped that thankfully. So she has not had a lot of oportunities to visit her grandparents. As a result of her not being invited, I refused to attend and on the day my Wife did go but only to help set up and then left. We now have a situation where we have radio silence from the grandparents and the SiL and BiL. Although my DS and his wife have had emails from them.
To me this is an end of relationship event and such a shame that after 41 years of marriage my Wife has to put up with this shit from her family. Me? I dont care as I am of an age where this sort of crap is just not worth fretting about. Family holidays, get-togethers, Christmas and Easter Dinner sit downs are now history...
Am IBU to not give a toss and just concentrate on MY family?

@TixieLix. I have, and it is because of my Wifes feelings that I have kept my head down. She now accepts that DD and me will have nowt more to do with grannie.

@Drum2018. DD has no children, the Christening is the DD of our son. He and his wife are very aware of the situation but there is no reason for them to take sides as it is a special occasion which should be above the prejudices of grannie. One day at the start of a new chapter of life should not be sullied by a selfish old woman. DD and I cannot wait for it and are both looking forward to have a fantastic day!

OP, I have a son and a daughter. I also have a relative who ‘doesn’t like’ my daughter. She’s said she finds her loud, annoying and attention seeking. She’s 4.
My son is quiet, soft and sensitive. This relative has messaged me asking to meet up with me and my son. Not my daughter. I have always refused.
I’m slowly phasing out contact with this relative.
I’m a little saddened to hear that your son still has a relationship with your MIL. I understand that you don’t want to be perceived as a barrier to it, however in my own situation I’m keeping both of my children away from this relative.
It’s bad enough that my daughter feels rejected by this person, but for her then to have to see my son being welcomed by her, I think would hurt and confuse her.

@masirah You were the one that said that Granny had taken a disliking her since she was seven years old.

@Durgasarrow Yes, I did. And your point is?

@Millie2016 Im sorry to hear that you are also experiencing this issue. Ther may be many more in our situation.
Our son has always had an inkling that grannie had something against DD but he has supported her as he got older but didnt interfere I suppose in the hope it would all come right. It didnt. However, now that he has a wife and newborn daughter I think he feels obliged to make a new effort? I think this is the right thing for his new family. Lets be honest, grannie is circling the drain! All of us are comfortable now that it is out in the open.