Year 1 and still crying at school drop off

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Nearly everyday since starting nursery DD has cried when I drop her off. She doesn't dislike school, she doesn't love it either but she gets on quite well there. It's deffiently more about having to leave me. She's absolutely distraught every time, it's been 2 years since she started nursery and it doesn't seem to get any easier for her. I know it's only the first week back, being in a new class with a new teacher makes it harder and this week has been particularly difficult because of that but I know she likes her new teacher and has enjoyed this week however she seems to forget that the minute we step through the gates and she's begging me to take her with me. I just don't know what to do anymore, nothing seems to help her

Can you get someone else to drop her for a couple of weeks, to break the habit?

We’ve had exactly the same thing with my son, he’s now going into year 2. I’ve booked an appointment with a therapist to see if they can help with his anxiety. I feel like we’ve tried everything else!

As long as she enjoys school once she’s in the door, it’s not really a problem, is it? Just be calm and matter of fact at drop off each day, don’t make a big deal or react emotionally to it, just tell her to have a lovely day and that you look forward to seeing her at home time.
She may be an anxious child, or simply not like transitions between different settings, eg home/school.
I think if you focus on making it a routine, calm, regular thing, with the reassurance that you will pick her up each afternoon, she will eventually settle.

Mine cried every day up until October half time for nursery, reception and year one.

Strolled in on the 1st day of year 2 without a care in the world.

She may just need a little more time, as horrible as I know it is when your child is grabbing and screaming for you.

Just to give you hope, my dd cried every day 'til year 3, it was dreadful. She's just gone into year 7 totally confident, happy and making lots of friends. There is hope.
I recommend someone else dropping her off to give you a break, my husband took over, best thing I ever did, he handled it better than me and they developed the closest bond walking to school.together every day.

Is she fine once there?

Presuming yes, have you tried:

• get there as late as you can so no hanging around
• get there early and teacher gives her a 'special job' to do
• a transitional object in her hand/pocket as she goes in eg a toy or something with your perfume on it
• meeting a friend en route and they go in together
• star chart

My DD2 struggled with leaving me on and off until around y4. We found the transitional object worked well.

Thank you for the suggestions. She is fine once she's in and settled, it's just when we get there she panics and gets upset. I suppose a major problem as she's getting on fine at school but it would be nicer if she could go in happily too. Someone else taking her might help but it depends if someone can and who it is

That was supposed to say *I suppose it isn't a major problem

Does she go to breakfast club and could you arrive at the same time as her friends? Get your DH to drop her off instead of you?

My younger dd was like this.
Arriving just on time and 'handing her over' directly to her YR1 teacher really helped. Her reception teacher was really impatient with the situation and didn't offer much in the way of support. She cried nearly every day in reception. Her Yr1 teacher was much more understanding and did the handover cheerfully but briskly every morning and usually distracted her with a little job. The difference was amazing. She settled really well. She'll never be a school lover but she is 10 now and goes in confidently every day.

Is she like this when you drop her off at other places or just school?

She can be like this at other places, not everywhere but she's never very keen on being separated from me

Oh and no she doesn't go to breakfast club, just comes in at usual school starting time

I'd try and organise a walk to school with a friend if possible.
How about having something for her to look forward to after school ie. friend over for tea. Something to occupy her thoughts that you could discuss on the way to school?

Every day till y3? Jesus that is bad!
It's not normal for a child to cry. I would say, it's not ok, For more than a short time, say up until the first October 1/2 term.

Then you should be getting support from teacher, school counsellor, GP, because the child clearly needs a bit of help / reassurance. Or if it is severe anxiety/ extreme attachment, both your child, and also you as the parent need help and support.

If she isn’t going in early to play at breakfast club, I’d suggest your DH takes her or a friend collects her and she goes with their family rather than with you?

I cried every day until Y2. Teacher would say, “Oh she’s fine once she’s here.” I wasn’t though; I absolutely hated it.

I was bright so I found the actual teaching bit very slow and boring and I was hopeless at the social side so no one ever wanted to play with me. I used to fake illness too so that I didn’t have to go. And once I just walked out of the playground and ran home.

Things improved a bit in Y2 and in Y3, for some reason I suddenly became besties with the most popular girl in my class and my life utterly transformed. We were inseparable for many years, though I had other friends too.

Sorry OP. Don’t want to worry you. Please check that it’s not more than leaving you.

I agree with PP's its very unusual to be crying every day for 3 years. I would get someone else to drop her off for a while and see if that improves things. She's probably so set in the routine now that its difficult for her to break the habit of crying each morning when you leave.

My dd2 is just starting y3 and still hugely struggling, so I know how hard it is! We had a meeting with her class teacher and Senco this morning to discuss. I think our main issue is anxiety and we have found it helpful learning some relaxation exercises as a family.

There are some great ideas already.
Have you seen the idea of drawing hearts on both your hands and pressing them together. Then if she needs to feel close to you during the day she can 'press the button'. It might help.
I would also have a little sweet/choc in my pocket to distract her with as she's going in.

Hmm. I don't think it's that unusual for her to be crying. My first son did right up until end of year 1 then in year 2 it just stopped.
I used to feel awful dropping him off. I would feel tense walking to school cos I knew he would cry, then I would feel sorry for him, then I feel angry and then I'd feel sorry for him again! If I'm honest I was embarrassed by it too, thinking why is he the only one crying.
He's 14 now and fine!

What really worked for one of mine was telling jokes to her teacher, first thing ay drop off. We would pick two jokes (often just knock knock jokes) each day. She would rehearse them on the way to school (focusing her mind on this) and then go and tell the teacher the jokes,...while I left. By the time we ran out of jokes, the emotions didn't seem to overwhelm her anymore. Maybe discuss this with her (and her teachers) and give it a go for a week.

DS sobbed every morning at nursery and well into reception. I bribed, a lot. Getting there at the last minute helped, so no hanging round waiting for the doors to open, and if we were 'late' we would run the last bit so he couldn't start getting worked up. Now in yr1 each morning the boys have been racing each other with is fabulous for us. Someone will spot someone else in the class, and speed up, then another will over take, until there's a small herd sprinting. The ks1 building is unfortunately a long walk across a field.

Is there a relative that could do drop off for a short spell to break the habit? When I reached my wits end in reception my mil took the morning run for a week and he went in with no fuss.