Please help. What to do when pet put to sleep.

[beingchampion]

My 12 year old is very upset because the vet is coming to the goat that's been here all of his life. Do I send him to school or not? Vet here 10am ish, then ketman to take her away sometime after. Is it better for him to be upset here or school?

To give it some context, it's one of two pet goats, they wander around a lot coming to the door for food and attention, not one of 500 in a field.

There's also a 14yr old who handles life a bit better, but also potential for upset. It seems a bit dramatic to take the day off, but crying it out at school isn't ideal either. What to do??

Sorry about your goat. Send him to school. Worse for him to be there when goat is pts. Obviously let school know and offer to come and collect at lunchtime once it’s over and done with if they’re not coping.

I would talk it through with him as I'm sure you already have, reminding him of the good life the goat has had and that it would be cruel to keep it alive if it is suffering. I would talk through what will happen and that the animal won't suffer then I would give him the choice about whether to stay at home or go in to school.

He knows all of that, but silent tears were flowing very fast when he gave her tea tonight. He wants to do breakfast before school. Thing is, I'll probably be crying with him too.

No school, they can't cope with it.
If they want to be with the vet, let them. Better to see reality than let imagination run wild

Ask him, at 12 he’s old enough to decide. I’d also tell him that if he wants to stay, he can always go to school later if he feels keeping busy would help a bit.

I went through similar situation with one of our cats in July this year. He was never a well cat but he literally went downhill overnight and I told kids I'd ring around vets to get him urgent appointment and I knew I wouldn't be bringing him home but I didn't want to say it and have them want to come to vets as I don't think they could cope with being there. However I wanted to give them the chance to say a proper goodbye to him before they went to school. We talked about how poorly he was and I made a point of saying hopefully the vet could make him better but if he couldn't the most important thing was that he didn't suffer. I know they expected me to come home with him and they were heartbroken when I didn't but I know sending them to school was the right decision. I was with him when he was put to sleep and I wouldn't wish it on anyone, it often plays on my mind and reduces me to tears

It's hard OP.
Perhaps you could send him to school for the afternoon session, if he's feeling up to it.
I don't think it would perhaps be wise to actually have him around in the morning.
Does his school have pastoral care? Maybe he could go to school but go to pastoral care?
I don't actually know how pastoral care works as my kids left school before pastoral care was invented, sorry.

@ILoveSweatyBollocks
I know exactly what you mean.
I had to have one of my dogs put to sleep. I held him in my arms as the vet injected.
My dog just looked at me as if to say goodbye.
Never will I ever do that again.
😭 Here again now at it and it was a good 15 years ago 😭

I think if the child is old enough to know what is going to happen they can't be expected to go to school while it happens. With younger children you don't need to go into detail but I think in this case the child can't be expected to carry on with normal life. The grieving process is important, despite this being the right thing to do. You can guarantee someone at school will tease them for being upset about a goat. They shouldn't have to face that on the same day that it is actually happening.

I remember sobbing my heart out at 16 when my gp's dog died.

Let him have the day at home to grieve then back to normal routine tomorrow.

Having said that, don't let him be there at the actual time it happens.

I would send him to school.
He doesn’t need to see the reality of things (I’ve seen my horse out down, it’s not the same as a pet cat, and I assume a goat will be similar).

Tell school and keep him busy. It’s only just the start of term so probably best not to miss days just yet.

Thanks all - we've had a chat and he's going to stay home and then straight to school after (although this could change but haven't told him). We already had a vet appointment on the calendar as vet is coming out to vaccinate another animal - if the 10am hadn't been there it may have been easier. 14yr old has chosen to go to school.

Today is not going to be a happy day.

I'm sorry you are having to say goodbye to your goat .

God id keep him home. It's a Friday on the first week of term, he won't be missing loads. It's important he's there and is given a little space to grieve.

Dd was 6 when we had our first dog pts and 11 when the last one was. Each time she came to the vet to say goodbye but chose not to be there for the injection. First time we left the dog there, second time dog came home in the car with us.
She was upset but still did school, her friends really helped. She also has learnt that some things are very sad but it is ok to be sad.
Thinking of you all

A sad day for you all but I hope you take some comfort in your wonderful memories.