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Original poster

What time does your 11 yr old (Yr 7) go to bed and rules around electronics?

29 replies

Poppysball · 04/09/2019 21:28

My DS has just started secondary school, Year 7 and we are already in a battle over what time his bedtime should be. Would be interested to know what time others have set for this age please.

Also, rules around electronics. He has xbox, likes youtube and has very recently got a phone. We monitor what he does on the phone and he can’t take it to his room but these electronic devices are what he spends most of his free time doing. I am not as bothered about his bedtime but I don’t want him just doing this for hours every evening.

He does play football and I’m hoping he’ll join some school clubs. I understand they will get homework every night now and to be honest all I can see is battles and stress ahead as he won’t want to do it.

Does anyone have any advice on handling this transition to secondary school, the electronics, and the general increasing independence that he wants and I am struggling a bit to accept! I understand he’s growing up but he is still only 11. Thanks in advance

OP posts:
Gazelda · 04/09/2019 21:35

DD goes up to bed at 8.30. She had been going later in the holidays, then reading etc for about an hour. But I think she's dropping off almost immediately since starting Y7.

She has a phone which isn't allowed upstairs. She's not into gaming etc so we haven't had tech battles (yet!)

expatinspain · 04/09/2019 21:37

What time does he have to wake up?

reluctantbrit · 04/09/2019 21:38

Bedtime was and is in most days that light is out by 8.30pm as DD has two week nights with late clubs so needs the rest. Her alarm goes at 6.30am though.

Weekends are around 9pm. But DD loves her sleep so we normally don’t have an issue.

Electronics - Only allowed after homework is done, DH keeps an eye on her as he works from home. If she is on her own and I find out homework is not done when I am home at 6pm electronics are confiscated for 2 days. It works well. We also insist she reads decently and took remotes away when she started just watching TV. Clearing up hr room is another condition if she wants more screen time after dinner. All electronics have to be brought downstairs at bedtime.

Independence - that was easy for us as we found the constant need to take her anyway and monitor her far too tiring, she goes alone a lot since the beginning of Y6 and even before. Only requirement is that she has her phone with her and answers. We had two times where she didn’t contacted us back, resulting in loss of phone and so far it works now.

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2cats2many · 04/09/2019 21:41

Bedtime is at 8.45. She can read until 9.30 and then lights out.

No screens before showtime. Phone stays down stairs at bedtime. We went through a stage of having to keep her laptop downstairs too because she was staying up late watching you tube.

This stuff is super addictive and teens need help to manage it. Hell, I could often do with some help myself!

ChidiAnnaKendrick · 04/09/2019 21:42

8pm shut off for phones - no debate.

They can watch TV in their rooms until 9, then lights out. They’re y7 & y8 (11 & 12). We allow later at weekends/holidays and we’ll probably extend once they have their birthdays to 9.30.

TheTurn0fTheScrew · 04/09/2019 21:44

9pm bedtime on school nights.
there's supposed to be a tech curfew at 8.30 but I'm rubbish at remembering. the screens stay downstairs.

we have told her that as long as she is sensible, and responds to us occasionally telling her to have a tech break, there's no need for hard and fast rules. With DC know that if they resist our attempts to ensure they're not plugged into the matrix at all times, then there will be a screen time allocation, which they're keen to avoid.

2cats2many · 04/09/2019 21:45

Showtime?

I meant shower time 😁

slobberyblob · 04/09/2019 21:47

Wind down at 8:30pm and lights out about 9/9:15pm. Dc nearly 11. He fights it and says his friends get to stay up to 11pm - yeah right.

VickyBHF · 04/09/2019 21:49

Our Year 7 just started a new schedule for the term. All screens switched at 7:30pm. Lights off at 8pm. This is because she gets up at 6:25am and leaves the house at 7:15am with a busy central London commute.

JetPlanesMeeting · 04/09/2019 21:49

Bedtime in this house was dictated by only one thing - can you get out of bed when you are supposed to and be in a decent mood Grin Children need to learn when to call it a night.

I am a SAHM so am able to police gadgets etc as I am physically present but basically, in from school, get changed, snack, homework started at the very least. Then about 1 hour of electronics before family dinner.

If there was no homework then they had to be doing productive things, so yes to YouTube as long as it was school related ie extension of topic being done in Geography or Science or educational in some way, not how to improve your stats on X game.

Family dinner time was off before dinner to help with dinner prep/set table etc. Then clear up afterwards, everyone of us.

This worked well for us, Ds1 is now in year 12 and Ds2 is in year 9. The main things for us was a good attitude when it was time to come off the gadgets, if not, then you lose it for X number of days. No phone in their rooms overnight or any other tech. They are still big readers so read a book before sleep.

WaggingKnife · 04/09/2019 21:52

Our rules for secondary school, years 7-9.

Weekdays in bed at 9, lights out by 9:30.
All upstairs TVs off by 8:30pm.

Weekend in bed at 10, lights out by 10:30.
All upstairs TVs odd by 9:30pm.

Phones and iPads do be left charging on the desk on the landing before bedtime.

Th1me · 04/09/2019 21:53

10pm bedtime.

Has computer and phone in her room. No intention of taking these away as long as she gets good grades and gets up in the morning and is ready on time.

Has worked with her older brother and sister who self regulate so no reason to think it won’t work with her.

I have never checked phones, checked homework, limited WiFi, not allowed phones in bedrooms and I have two older children who are in year 11 and 10 both predicted 8’s and 9’s.

DropZoneOne · 04/09/2019 21:55

Bedtime was 9:30, up at 7am. But the secondary school routine means up at 6:30 so bedtime has moved to 9pm. She's just dropped off, but I'm hopeful a few more nights and it will fall into place a bit better.

Charles11 · 04/09/2019 22:03

Our routine when they come home is snack then homework.
Dinner around 6 then help to tidy up and we’ll watch some tv if there’s no homework to do.
They can check messages on their phones every now and then but we’ve always had a no games on weekdays rule and that still stands.
Bedtime starts at 8.30 but they usually arse about til 9.30.
Definitely no gadgets in the bedroom but they’re allowed to read as late as they want within reason.

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 04/09/2019 22:05

Bed for 8.30, lights out at 9-reading only.
Xbox only at the weekend.
No electronics upstairs.

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 04/09/2019 22:07

And back from school, snack, homework, r&r, dinner, music practice then whatever till bed.

CMOTDibbler · 04/09/2019 22:12

In yr 7, ds was off electronics by 7.30, bed at 8 with lights off, devices downstairs only (he needs a lot of sleep, always has).

Hadenoughofitall441 · 04/09/2019 22:53

9pm on school night, 10 at weekends. DS has asd so routine is key.

Original poster
Poppysball · 04/09/2019 23:00

Thanks everyone. I was thinking 9.00pm but he’s saying that’s to early. He needs to be up at 7.30am. I’d be ok with 9.00 in bed and read until 9.30 but I don’t want him glued to electronics until 9.00.

OP posts:
expatinspain · 05/09/2019 12:16

I think 9.30pm is a sensible time at that age. You need to have a rule with screen time before bed. We don't have phones/tablets in bedrooms at nighttime. No screens after 8.30pm sounds like a fair rule and they get left somewhere else. The last hour is downtime before bed. I think a bit of TV is ok
for half an hour then from 9 reading or some other quiet activity if he doesn't like to read.

Chitarra · 05/09/2019 12:19

DD goes upstairs around 8, I say goodnight at 8.30 and she can read for a bit. She’s asleep by 9.

We don’t have strict rules around tech as long as homework is done. She’s very active and sporty so I don’t worry about her not getting enough exercise.

Chipsahoy · 05/09/2019 12:31

Mine gets up at 6.45am and loves his sleep, so school night it's bed for 8.30pm. No electronics in bed but he can read until he is ready to sleep. Sometimes that's five minutes, others it's an hour.
Scout night he doesn't get home until 9.15pm, so straight to bed and no reading.

FishCanFly · 05/09/2019 13:25

between 9 an 10. Gadgets rules vary.

LifeInAHamsterWheel · 05/09/2019 14:29

Our 11yr old goes to bed at 9pm but can read until 9:30pm (often turns the lamp back on to read much later but I don't mind so much as I love reading myself)

No iPad/xbox in our house midweek, though they are allowed to watch Netflix but have to be off it by 8:30pm (or 8pm for the 9 yr old)

We're not onto phones yet, although the 11yr old is constantly asking for one.

NoWayNoHow · 05/09/2019 16:13

If you DS sleeps till 7.30, then 9.30 is probably fine - obviously it's different for all children, but on average at age 10-12 they need 10 hours sleep.

DS is lights out at 9pm, but he wakes up religiously at 6.30 every morning, weekday or not, which is irritating. He's struggling to adjust to secondary school at the moment so am giving a little leeway in terms of reading before bed etc, but there are no screens in his room and his phone has to stay downstairs.