Is it a good thing to remember childhood very vividly?

[letsgomaths]

I'm in my late thirties, and my childhood memories are extremely vivid: I remember many things very clearly indeed from age four onwards, such as places I went, things I did, conversations I had, clothes I wore. From talking about this to others, it seems this is somewhat unusual: I'm always quoting things which have long been forgotten by the rest of the family, and at a twenty-year school reunion, I remembered loads of things that nobody else did. It's not totally foolproof though - sometimes I'm surprised if I was mistaken about something.

Although it's fun to be able to do this, nice to look back on childhood memories in my head, and some people envy it, I actually think it's a very mixed blessing. I think it is at the expense of remembering what I did more recently (I couldn't say what I was doing last week without checking my diary), I have terrible short-term memory. I also remember the bad as well as the good: I could recall individual childhood tellings-off if I wanted, and the feelings that went with them.

It also means I spend a lot of time dwelling on the past, rather than the present and the future, and as a result, I find it very difficult to plan for the future, as if I can't believe it will actually happen. I often revisit childhood places, feel surprised at how small they look now, or how much they may have changed. I've learned to expect this now, but in my early twenties I might have been terribly disappointed to find my childhood playground had been redesigned.

Is anyone else like this, and do you worry about it?

Is it just your childhood you remember or do you have a good memory generally? I remember my childhood well but I think I just have a good memory in general and so I see it as a positive as it's helped me lots with academic stuff. Like you my short term memory isn't always great and I can appear a bit ditzy...but overall I think its worth it because of the good recall of facts/figures/academic stuff.

DS (3.5) is similar to me, eg. he remembers holidays/people he met before his 2nd birthday (eg uncles etc that we occasionally talk about) and so many random facts from kids educational cartoons. No idea about his short term memory because obviously if you ask him 'Where did you put your lunchbox' he gives random 3.5 year old answers like 'because it was my excavator and I had to do digging'

I'm a first born and my mum says she thinks this is why I have a good childhood memory.

At the other end of the scale, I believe that some people whose childhoods were really bad (neglect, inconsistent parenting etc.) are more likely to have fewer memories or for them to be more disjointed. But I don't think it's the case that clear memories = fabulous childhood though.

I'm like this and it can make me very maudlin. I remember my beloved grandparents so vividly and miss them terribly when I recall days out when them etc, or how they told me stories of their youth. I remember my home town and the environment and know how much better it used to be. How you would see caterpillars on every weed, hedgehogs scuttling at night, moths plastered to the car after a nightime drive. Now it seems that nature is being obliterated by mankind.

Things really were better back then (plus I'm disabled now) so having such clear memories of how life used to be can be painful.

I’m the opposite - my long-term memory isn’t great on detail. Short-term is fine and I’m quite an organised person, but I forget a lot of things from the past that I’m sure I “ought” to remember - and the memories I do have are quite vague and dreamlike/impressionist.

For example, I was 19 when I got together with my first real boyfriend (first person I slept with etc., so a reasonably important milestone) and we went out for several months; but about ten years ago I realised I can’t remember his surname at all. It’s just gone. I’m 45.

I did have quite a sad childhood with a lot of change and upheaval and missing people who were very far away. I do sometimes wonder if this tendency to just let detail slip away is some kind of defence mechanism. It also makes it fairly easy for me to forgive people and move on from situations; I never hold grudges.

Sorry OP, I meant to add that I agree with you that it would be a mixed blessing to have a vivid, detailed memory like yours.

I worry about mine a bit in terms of overall brain health, but I think in many ways yours and NoWillpower’s would be tougher to live with.

I can see how it would be a mixed blessing but I am very envious!

I remember very little about my childhood - and I mean VERY little. I can probably list 5-10 memories I have. I am not sure why my memory is so poor but it has continued into adulthood. Myself and DH have been together almost 15 years and there is plenty about our relationship, especially the early stuff, that I have no memory of at all. It happens quite frequently that he will say, "Do you remember that time when..." and it's like he's talking about a different person!

Oddly enough though I can remember "static" things in minute detail - tiny details in pictures, photographs etc - and everywhere I live I build a "map" in my head - I'm excellent with street names, shop names, landmarks, etc. When we lived in London DH always joked that I should do The Knowledge So there are some upsides too.

I can see how you might get lost in having such a detailed memory of the past. Sometimes not having much of a "past" can be a good thing - I'm quick to forget anything negative (an embarrassing moment, for example) and shrug it off quite quickly. I've made some pretty bold career moves and I'd credit some of that to that aspect of my poor memory - I'm like Teflon in some ways! I tend to look forward not back and it's worked out well.

The only thing that worries me is knowing when my parents pass away, I won't have much "left" of them, IYSWIM.

Interesting that like @64sNewName I also had a sad childhood.

I suppose its impossible to know how much is vivid memory and how much vivid imagination.

I’m a little envious of you forgetting the embarrassing moments, Limpshade, because those are just about the only things I do seem to retain in my memory for decades

I read a fascinating article a few years back about someone who had a sort of super-memory. I will see if I can find it.

It sounded really implausible, but it was verified by researchers testing her extensively on checkable things like her memories of the weather on particular days.

www.theguardian.com/science/2017/feb/08/total-recall-the-people-who-never-forget?CMP=Share_iOSApp_Other

I have a vivid long term memory, but rubbish short term memory for repetitive trivial stuff. There is dyspraxia in my family and between my organisational skills and (lack of) hand-eye co-ordination, I do suspect that I may be dyspraxic. I certainly recognise many features in my dyspraxic son! He will also chat happily about things that happened when he was 3 that I'd forgotten. His brother (6) recently piped up about his "baby football" classes when he was 2. I was working FT when he was 3 and there was no football between 3 and 5. There are no pictures of it to jog or construct memories, and we only went a few times so was something that had slipped my mind.

I had a major house move at 7, which clearly marks what happened before and after. It means I remember a lot about my life before my dad died which I do like.

DH doesn't seem to remember much about his childhood. From what he can tell me, it sounds quite monotonous with not many events to punctuate it.

I am sentimental and keep stuff which jogs memories.

I have an extremely good photographic memory that I use in my daily life for all sorts. I also remember being a very small child, just snapshots, as young as 1.As a young child my mum used to play a memory game with me when I couldn't sleep where we'd talk about places wed been and I think this may have 'cemented' these memories in. I remember my grandad painting a mural in my bedroom and me being carried in to see it wearing just a nappy. I could even draw it for you. I remember a holiday to Cornwall when I was 18 months old and the places we visited. I remember the day my mum left my dad when I was 3.

I don’t dwell on the past or worry about it, but my memory is like yours.
I have great clarity about the past, but would say my memory is poor( I actually call it my forgetory). Sometimes it actually feels like I have an obscure learning difficulty, and menopause is not aiding it

But no I don’t worry about it, it’s the way I am. We’re all different. I’ve carb d out a life for myself that works, my kids are happy.
I don’t plan much for the future, but I don’t think it’s got to do with my memory or belief in the future, I’m just more likely to take life as it comes, and see what interests me and follow that.
I mean I plan holidays and meals and stuff.

What sort of future planning were you thinking about op? I mean planning a pension is good, but too much planning is just setting yourself up for disappointment, unless you’re very driven.

I have a phenomenal long term memory. I can remember in detail almost every dress, coat, shoes I have worn over the past 60 years. I can still name every child in my class in both junior and secondary school. I can remember inconsequential incidents in minute detail and can reconstruct in my mind, every room in every house/flat I have lived in.

I can also remember the upholstery pattern on the armchair that my Mum and I sat in and cried on Christmas Eve in 1961 when my absent Dad promised he would come home to us and never came.

So, both happy and sad. I would however, forget your name that you told me 30 seconds ago. 😂

I have very vivid memories of my childhood but a lot of them are not good memories at all. I can remember from nursery school age onwards, which would mean from about 3 years old. Having had counselling, I know that I was probably in a state of hyper vigilance and fear for a lot of the time, which is why I remember so much.

However, I have a good short term memory and I'm incredibly organised and efficient and constantly planning --over-planning- for the future, so that would be different from you @letsgomaths.

Maybe you had a very happy childhood and you are harking back to that for some reason?

Thank you for all your replies so far. @Margolovebutter I did mostly have a very happy childhood, and sometimes I wish I could recreate the childish feelings from it: I can remember the thrill of going down a playground slide, for instance, or the childhood terror of getting lost in a supermarket. It's not the same doing either of those as an adult! I remember things like the "injustice" of another child playing with "my" toy: to most children, that would be forgotten about in minutes, but I remember them for ever. When my parents told me off for this or that, I'm sure they were not expecting me to remember it thirty years later.

@Manontry I suppose its impossible to know how much is vivid memory and how much vivid imagination. I don't think this is true in my case: it was always very clear in my mind what actually happened, and what didn't. I remember things I dreamed about as a child, but it's very clear to me that they were dreams, and not reality.

I'm also not very creative, generally: I find it hard to invent new things, to write stories, to think of new ideas. Occasionally I have bursts of wanting to do new things, and then I try to make the most of these periods. I'm supposed to be looking for a new career at the moment, but I do find that kind of brainstorming about something I have not experienced so far very difficult, because it's so abstract, and I focus on the past so much. I'm always looking for childhood books in charity shops or on eBay, but I resist the temptation to spend big money on them.

I also read somewhere that if we could remember our whole lives as clearly as we could remember the last hour, we would become very confused, and it's the "fading" of memories which helps give us a sense of time. I'm not sure how that applies in my case!