Should I text this mum?

[GallopingGreen]

Quick poll- my ds (8) is at the receiving end of some low level bullying. Just kids being a bit mean. He was invited to a party by one of the boys and was very excited (I got the text from the mum). However birthday boy told my DS the next day in school that his mum didn't want my DS to go so now he can't go. Just shrugged his shoulders and laughed apparently. DS is a sensitive kid and upset now.

I know this is untrue- and the boy is just being a little jerk. Should I text the mom to say "oh heard from NAME that there's no room for DS at the party. Assume numbers were tight! no problem at all but just thought I'd confirm that with you"

Basically to let her know in a subtle way that her ds is being mean in school....

I don't know this woman at all- just to wave hi to as we are both dropping kids and dashing to work kind of thing!

Should I send that text or drop it?

I would definitely text mum and say "is this right what [son] has said, and that DS is no longer invited to the party? just want to confirm in case there has been a misunderstanding"
x

Oh I hadn't drafted my text to be PA - but can see how it could be read in that way - so I think I will be a bit clearer. And I have decided to say it to teacher as I want this nipped in the bud. DS is a bit more immature than the peers (just more innocent and childlike) so I don't want him being picked on.

Thanks all!

I would send the text suggested by ChangeItChild. I'm guessing the other mum has no clue what her son's been up to!

I would defo msg.

Then when she says it's not true I would reply along the lines of, oh okay it's just X told my son today he wasn't invited any longer which was upsetting for him as he was really looking forward to it.

Eugh... what a little arsehole

The teacher won’t be able to do anything about a party invitation

Speak to the teacher about keeping an eye on any mean behaviour at school.

Text the mum directly to check if DS is or isn’t still invited to the party. Just be direct, Hi, your son has told my son he isn’t invited to the party anymore. Just wanted to check this with you incase there is a misunderstanding?

The teacher won’t be able to do anything about a party invitation

Speak to the teacher about keeping an eye on any mean behaviour at school

I think people are suggesting exactly that...

Update: I texted along the lines of what ChangeIt said above. Lovely mum replies within 5 minutes to say
"Of course (DS) is invited! I will ask X what happened here. He has started telling petty lies and I am so sorry this has happened. Please reassure (DS) he is so welcome to come! I will chat to X about this. Thank you for letting me know."

I am very happy with the response and sent her a friendly thank you reply.

Thanks to everyone's comments on this today - I wasn't at all sure whether to pay no attention to it as playground nonsense, but glad I texted her now.

Glad it's sorted and the mum was nice about it OP

Well done op, that's a good outcome.

Good outcome all round! (Well, maybe not for X...). Hope the party goes without a hitch for your DS and he enjoys it.

Aww great. Nice update. U def did the right thing. If my kid was behaving like that I would have appreciated at text. If she doesn't know she cant fix it. Plus I would rather I did the telling off than the school.

If there is bullying speak to the school, my son is 8 and this happens a lot within the class. I have told him it's all part of growing up, boys asserting themselves etc. He knows to talk to his teacher if he is getting picked on, but also he knows not to tolerate it or let his friends bully others either. Kids fall out one day then best friends the next. Just kindly explain to your DS to rise above it.

Sunflowers - that's pretty much word for word what I told him
Resilience is important but also not letting others push you around.
It's the first time we have had to deal with this as he is our eldest child - so all new for us.