How do you not get attached to family members’ partners?

[GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat]

Ok weird title but hopefully I can explain.

My DB has just introduced us to his new partner. They’ve been together about 6 months and it’s looking semi serious. She’s really really lovely!

However I’ve been here before. Last one was also lovely and my children (dd in particular) really liked her company and have really missed her since they split. It was amicable and they’ve stayed friends but obviously we don’t see her anymore.

Do you ever feel a bit sad? It’s clearly absolutely nothing to do with me and it’s not like I want to march them down the aisle, but they do become part of the family and especially when they’re nice, it seems a bit sad not to see them anymore.

I sound weird don’t I?

I totally understand.

DB has had a looong series of serious girlfriends, each one being around for a few years.

You get to know them, share Christmasses and events with them, develop 'in' jokes, buy increasingly thoughtful presents etc.

Then they are gone. Puff! And you have to remember not to call the new one by an old name

I wish I could take the brilliant thoughfulness skills of one, the quirky humour of another, the easy-going nature of another and combine them into one uber-SIL. But he never asks me before selecting or rejecting a mate. Selfish bugger

On the flip side, when I broke up with my last bf I found a picture of his neice not long after and sobbed that I was probably never going to see that little girl again.

Leaving a family you've semi-adopted as part of your own is also hard :(

My DB was with his ex girlfriend for about 5 years when they split up. She was my bridesmaid 2 years later as we had formed such a close friendship. Even now we still are friends-15 years on.

He knows how to pick them as his DW and her family are the loveliest, most welcoming and generous people I've ever met.

If he was to divorce I don't know what me or my DC would do as we'd be devastated.