If you could go back, what would you do more of in the 2-3 years pre-parenthood?

[BurntOut1]

Myself and partner think we’re about 3 yrs off TTC.

Before then, we’d like to do a couple of big holidays & a few home improvements. We both have stable jobs that we enjoy.

So, all being well, in practical terms, we’ll be ready, but I’m really interested to know what you’d tell your pre-baby self to do to best prepare you for parenthood.

A lot of people we know have already said they’d do more partying hard/enjoying lie ins, but I’m really interesting if there’s anything you’d do emotionally/physically to prepare yourself.

Possibly a weird thread to start, but I’m trying to focus my broody energy into something productive!

@ChestnutTalisman appreciate the honesty. I’m trying really hard to get out of that stressed out space (see username ) and your post has motivated me even more.

We actually did a lot of exactly what we wanted to do. We lived abroad. We travelled. We partied and stayed up late and slept in. We made progress in our careers and figured out what our next steps in life would be. I feel like we didn’t miss out on much.

The only thing I realise now that I’d wished we done was go and eat in nice, interesting restaurants. We eat out now with kids, but not like really nice places. And we have date nights out, but because we are restricted by needing to be back for the babysitter, we go to our local pub like 5 minutes away.

I wish we had done more nice restaurants or more nights out in London, etc. Places we can’t just nip over to in the 3 hours we have the babysitter for. That sounds odd and really we probably didn’t do that because we couldn’t afford it back then, but it’s probably the one thing I feel a twinge if sadness we don’t easily get to do now.

Bit off topic, but I was in my mid20s when we had our first, I was really broody but it's only now most of my friends are having babies (my DC are 7 and 4). So having them young(ish) has made me feel a bit out of step at times.

Anyway I would have done more travelling, especially abroad.

Get married. We did, when DS was 13 months old, and he cemented our whirlwind relationship but if you can get married before kids, I would. I handmade 1001 things for our wedding, during naps when i should have been napping too. We went away for one night after our wedding, because he was still so little. I gave him his last bottle and my husband changed him into his pjs on our wedding day, as the staff turned the room from dining to disco. All wonderful and normal as our life, but added stress

Be spontaneous, nights/weekends even evenings. That’s what I miss, not holidays, as I still have those, but they’re planned like a military operation.
Another 1 for keep fit & take a photo 😂 nothing is the same after pregnancy and childbirth

Travel and sleep more, work less.

”DP thinks we should live our lives a bit first”

He’s 100% right.

You really are only young once. Make the most of it.

I couldn’t have done much more in the years leading up to DC1 as I was still at school...

Holidays! Once you have kids you’ll have no money, and even if you can afford a holiday you’ll have a kid in tow, so you’ll be limited in what you can do and stuck in your hotel room every night from 8pm. Go on city breaks and enjoy the clubs and restaurants. Take couples holidays at beach resorts. Go diving and trekking. The next time you’re free to go on those sort of trips you’ll be too old for them.

All the travel and especially things like @AgeLikeWine said. I long to be able to do a road trip of America but the kids hate the car 😂

Doing lots of fabulous impromptu things (booking last minute trips away) popping to the museum on a whim. You have to plan everything with kids so do loads of stuff off the cuff!

All outstanding DIY and house stuff. Ain't nothing getting done quickly once the kids arrive unless you pay someone else to do it.

Have lazy weekends where you just sleep and eat pizza in bed all weekend. Sleeping and waking when you choose. Oh heaven.