19 year old daughter and holiday

[Dieu]

Hi. I am a single parent of 3, and it's my turn to take them on their summer holiday next year (ex husband and I do alternate years).
My budget isn't massive, and I'd like to book something soon so that I can pay it up. Our past couple of holidays have been self-catering, and I'd really like to go all-inclusive next year, to enjoy a proper break from it all.

Argh, pressed 'post' too soon.

Anyway, my eldest will be 19 when the holiday comes, and she starts university (will be living at home) this September.
At the moment she's saying she wants to come with us, but I'm worried that she will find herself in a completely different position next year. Maybe with a holiday job, or new friends she'd like to go away with.
Also, she has misophonia, and so far it's proving pricey to try and find somewhere with two rooms, so that she's not driven mad by our snores or loud breathing.
When yours were of a similar age, did they still come away with you, or stay at home?
I love my eldest more than life, but I can't help but think how much easier it would be if she stayed home.
Am I being really unfair? I should add that I really will do my best to accommodate, insofar as my budget will allow.
Thanks.

I guess I'm just feeling the pressure a bit. I want them all to have a wonderful holiday, with my eldest not being stressed (she also has high-functioning autism) or the rest of us feeling like we're walking on eggshells. They're amazing kids, and we all get on brilliantly most of the time, but being away from home can heighten certain feelings and situations, I guess!

I think you would be unfair to book a holiday without including her. I wouldn’t want her feelings excluded from the family now she’s getting older. This is probably the last year she’s going to show any desire to go on holiday with you. Are you looking for a holiday abroad? Realistically I think if you’re worried about her changing her mind then I wouldn’t be looking for something all inclusive. I’d be looking at private 2 bed apartments/villas going cheap. If you go on homestogo.com you can get fabulous 2 bed villas in Spain for as little as £30 a night. You’d have to pay flights separately, but if she refuses to go you’ll only lose her flight costs rather than a whole all inclusive holiday. I think the chances of her bailing on an all inclusive during a 6 week holiday are slim anyway when she has so much time to spend with her friends. Could you ask her for a deposit or money towards her holiday to show she’s serious about coming if you want to book all inclusive?

Just read your last post. How did she cope on her last holiday?

I went at 19 and still go now sometimes (though I pay my own way). I'd have been hurt by being excluded at that age - like I wasn't part of the family anymore.

Thanks for your replies

Our last holiday was a villa one, and it's really not my bag. I promised myself that the next one would be an AI
I can't exclude her though. I'd never be able to enjoy myself if I thought that were the case.
And I suppose I should be flattered that she still wants to come!
Maybe I could find some noise cancelling earplugs for her.

Don’t exclude her.

@negomi90

I'd hate for her to feel like that. I absolutely would. She means the world to me. And I should make it clear that I would never tell her she couldn't come. Yes, it would simplify things, I admit. But I'm sure I'll find a solution to please everyone. I always do pull it out of the bag in the end!

Try Royal Sun Resort Tenerife, you can book half board or self catering with them and you can add a meal plan on when you arrive if you want.

You can chose to put any icecreams, drinks, lunch etc you buy on your room and pay when you leave. This worked out really well for us as we don’t really drink. We spent £200 after 14 days, 2 adults and a child, a cocktail / mock tail each day, ice cream and fizzy drinks. If we went to a traditional AI resort it would have cost us a lot more.

The rooms have cooking facilities and a full size fridge and there is a reasonably priced mini market on site or a cheap supermarket down the road. We stocked up the freezer with extra fizzy drinks, snacks and just made a ham and cheese sandwich for lunch, although lunch was also available on site for a very reasonable price.

The site has the most amazing views and the food is very good, we ate at their Buffett restaurant which was all you can eat for breakfast and dinner and we really didn’t need lunch.

Oh Ive just seen your update, the resort was really really quiet. The bar closed at 11pm and anyone who wanted to drink went into the Town which is quite a 15 minute walk away down a steep hill (or 4 euro taxi) and you couldn’t hear anything inside your room.

There is a large balcony with sun bed if she wanted time away from other people and a few English channels on the TV.

Thanks so much

Was just thinking could you book a cheap self catering hotel that has the option of upgrading to half board/all inclusive?

Maybe. That would certainly be the best of both worlds, if I can make it work financially.
Thanks.

If you are interested in the Royal Sun one, I think I have a voucher code somewhere for £150 off from Tui I can msg you.

You're so kind, thank you @Singleandproud
I will look it up and if within budget, I will certainly be in touch for the code!
Funny, but we've already been to Costa Adeje together. I was really hoping for Greece this time. Not sure why exactly, but I have a gut feeling!

Nothing to add here I'm afraid OP but if you're looking to get DD some ear plugs these ones are brilliant for my DD because they're not as obvious as other ones which have coloured sections on
www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B00REB9VTO/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?psc=1&tag=mumsnetforu03-21&ie=UTF8

The other alternative would be to open a savings account and put the money for the holiday away. Nearer the date you are likely to have a better idea of how things are going and if she is still likely to want to come with you.

Good luck OP, it's really hard to please different age groups at the best of times.

Just wanted to mention, if you're on a tight budget, try to factor in that the Euro might be even less in our favour after Brexit.

May be wise to book AI before end of October, (or buy some Euros to stash). If you have to pay as you go next year it could be even more pricey.

What is it you think would be better with AI than an apartment? If it's self catering you have the choice of eating at home or chiding different places to go. I understand the bit about knowing your expenses have been taken care of before you go but not why people see it as a more luxury option. You get much more space if you go self catering and more choice e.g. On holiday lettings or home away.

Have you asked her if she wants to go?!