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Original poster

Important to have friends over after school?

18 replies

FabledBunny · 31/08/2019 08:18

How important is it do you feel to have what is now known as ‘playdates’ or as we used to call it ‘friends over after school’?

How do parents who work full time ever manage to do this as surely apart from weekends you cant do it??

Is it really that important? Isn’t it enough that they are at school all day and go to a few clubs during the week?

I get very anxious thinking im not doing the whole parenting thing correctly and there seems to be a huge thing about going round to friends houses after school atm 😕

OP posts:

Fatted · 31/08/2019 08:21

I don't know how important it is. But I don't get home from work until 6pm every night and the last thing I want after a hard day at work is a house full of screaming children.

We live very close to DC school and luckily most of the other pupils live nearby as well. So my DC can usually meet up with their friends at the park on the weekends etc.

HarryRug · 31/08/2019 08:21

I would try and encourage it. We didn’t for our DC1 largely because of work/childcare/house renovation and DC1 is not as integrated as DC2 who we were able to facilitate this for. Most of the DCs socialising is weekends as we both work FT.

purplepoop · 31/08/2019 08:23

Its not important. I have 3 of my own and we rarely did have kids over. The odd one now and then.

Thankful im out of that circle now. Too busy to entertain and feed other peoples kids.

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Pindlesandneedles · 31/08/2019 08:23

Both DH and me work full time so no after school play dates. We so make an effort to do fun stuff with friends at the weekend. These tend to b family friends who have similar aged kids. Both DC seem to be happy and confident and have lots of friends in and out of school/preschool.

MoreProseccoNow · 31/08/2019 08:25

I think it's important for them; I work but always pick up on a Friday & try to facilitate something then. I feel they miss out if they can't do play dates or activities after school.

DorotheaHomeAlone · 31/08/2019 08:28

I think it’s beneficial to host friends and visit friends houses without parents/siblings. Don’t think it matters if this is after school or at the weekend but I do make it a priority here. Free, unsupervised joint play at home is different to more structured settings. I’ve changed my working hours to facilitate this (and value it above structured clubs and activities) but if I couldn’t we’d host more at weekends.

mnahmnah · 31/08/2019 08:28

We work full-time so can’t do play dates in the week. I try to make up for it when I have an occasional half day and bring a handful home with us after school, as DS has usually been to some of their houses in school nights. Yes make a ‘thing’ of it, movie night etc

mnahmnah · 31/08/2019 08:29

We, not yes!

WafflingDreamer · 31/08/2019 08:31

My kids are preschoolers and here you have to be in the right circles and friends with the right mums to get invited to playdates. I hate it and am naturally quite antisocial, despite trying my hardest to be in all the 'right' groups including chairing the preschool committee for a year! My eldest thrives on the company of other children and would love to have people over all the time, looking forward to the day parents arent involved!!!

Ellapaella · 31/08/2019 08:37

At Primary school age mine haven't been able to do it too often as they usually go to after school club while I'm at work, but every now and then they will have someone over if I'm off or get invited to another friends house for tea.
From secondary school age my eldest was with friends after school all the time.
I think it's good for them to see friends outside school but not essential. They won't miss out too much if they are going to after school clubs and doing other activities. We often do play dates/meet ups with friends and their parents on Saturdays (they are 4 and 8).

delilahbucket · 31/08/2019 08:40

In the entirety of ds's primary school years, we did the after school thing three times. It was never reciprocated. DS moved schools in year two and never really settled into a class of boisterous boys as he's more chilled out. He is extremely sociable and outgoing though, and while he hasn't had people over as such, there are a handful of children on our street that he regularly plays with and he does have several hobbies away from school. I don't think it is necessarily important to have friends over from school, but it is important to mix with other children outside of school.

Malteserdiet · 31/08/2019 08:43

I can reassure you that as soon as they get to Xbox/PlayStation age they seem to find it more fun to meet after school online rather than actually go to one another’s houses!

Grasspigeons · 31/08/2019 08:49

Well if your child is at afterschool club they are with other children playing. If they are at home a parent organises for children to play at home.

ballsdeep · 31/08/2019 08:53

I teach all day so the last thing I want is a house full of kids when I get home. My children go to after school clubs alongside swimming, football clubs etc. We try to meet up with friends on the weekend but we like to do our own thing too and not run to the beat of other people's drums.
I wouldn't worry too much op.

SudowoodoVoodoo · 31/08/2019 09:21

We often have activities after school. Some of these are local so classmates go to them too. DS's best friend does scouting too which is lovely for them, although they did have a gap due to their birthdays placing them in different sections.

Between work and organised activities, it is difficult to be mutually free.

DS2 has a classmate next door, so they often play volley-football over the fence then inviting eachother over, which is lovely as it's more natural.

SD1978 · 31/08/2019 09:30

For me- vital and I accomodate it even though it's difficult (work permanent nights) DC is an only- for me she needs that social interaction outside of the school setting and doesn't have siblings so we have friends over pretty much every week.

Makegoodchoices · 31/08/2019 09:40

We have someone or the DC is off out every single Friday - but as DC is an only child I think it’s important.
Can’t do the rest of week due to work.

Occasionally swap a whole day in the holidays - but from age 7 that meant freetime for me as they will play all day long without my input other than meals!

Original poster

FabledBunny · 31/08/2019 12:33

Thanks for all your replies, much appreciated x

OP posts:

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