I've had a hellish day with DD2 while DD1 was at school. I did a long overdue blitz and cleared out some old toys and just general crap. I am a single Mum* to two DDs (age 3 and 5) and I work part time. I suffer with depression and have been struggling a bit recently and generally feel completely overwhelmed by all the responsibility I have. So today I decided to be pro-active and attack the flat. I got a lot done but while I was tidying DD was trying her very hardest to make a mess. She didn't sleep well and so she was temperamental anyway and she was just so demanding and unreasonable at times. DD1 came home from school and then they started fighting. I just felt completely and utterly worn down and I'd had enough. My DP came over as planned and has insisted that I take my book, go out for dinner and he will do their dinner, get them to bed and I'm not to return until he gives the go ahead that they're settled. He said I need some time to myself, to do what I want and not have the constant demands and responsibilities. I am incredibly grateful for his offer, and I have accepted it, but I can't help feeling guilty. He's very much of the school of thought that I need to look after me in order to be able to look after them and he could see that I was mentally on my knees. But I feel guilty for him for having to take on my responsibility and I feel guilty to the DDs that I'm not going to be there at bedtime (they are very, very comfortable with him but he is, of course, not Mummy). Am I wrong for feeling guilty about this? Or is my guilt understandable?
*I have a DP who doesn't currently live with me, I don't know if that still makes me a "proper" single Mum.