Toddler and newborn- 3 days or 2 days nursery

[Napqueen1234]

Hello :)

DS will be 2.5 when baby is due and considering childcare options. Currently at nursery 4 days a week. We planned to drop to 3 days nursery while on maternity leave to help finances but now thinking we could drop to 2 days a week to give us a bit more money to help pay off cc debt. Cc debt isn’t huge and when budgets worked out we could afford 3 days nursery and to pay off cc (0% interest) by the time the baby starts nursery 9 months later and we are paying both fees.

Any mums experienced having a toddler at home 3 or 2 days a week with a newborn and have any advice? I know plenty of people manage two full time at home but toddlers are full on and I think having three days with the baby would give me recovery time and also bonding time with the baby but perhaps two days would be plenty. Also to say DS loves nursery and will be starting pre school after my mat leave so potentially a big shift from 2 days a week to full time pre school after that.

Thanks!

I left my 18 month old in nursery 2 days when DS was born. It felt like the perfect amount for me, however we couldn’t really have afforded more anyway!
I chose Tuesday and Thursday so it was never more than 1 day with both on my own.

@Smarshian I was thinking a tues/thurs! Think that would work well if we did two days

I have my toddler in 3 days a week with a newborn. This was what he was doing before the baby came as well.

I like that it still gives me some downtime with just the baby even in a week where we have things like vaccinations or other admin to do. I also think less than 3 days in nursery can be difficult for kids to settle properly

@Settlers thanks for your response- he has been there for a long time so is well settled with ‘friends’ etc but that is a concern that it will disrupt the routine- more so a change from 4 to 2 days I think!

I'll be the same! I'm thinking 3 days - Monday, Wednesday, Friday. Gives him time with new baby but also means he can enjoy some proper activities when I'm in the newborn blur of sleep deprivation and establishing breastfeeding.

@KatnissK that sounds great :) 3 days would be my ideal but saving the money would be good! Dreading the sleep deprivation and entertaining a toddler luckily lots of good baby groups around here!

I'm currently doing 2 days at nursery, Tuesday and Thursday but finding Mondays a challenge as I had help then it's all on me again! Went for Tuesday's and Thursday's for the same reason as you said. I think two days is enough though and DS enjoys his days. DS Was 2 when DD was born and she is now 3 months. I have really appreciated the break 2 days a week and it gives me a chance to catch up on sleep and to pop to the shops if needed.

I think 2 days is enough, but I didn't use childcare when I had a toddler and a newborn - you can go at your own pace and if you don't have unrealistic expectations it's a pretty lovely time. When dc3 was born I had to get dc1 to school and dc2 to preschool and that was much harder - often involved waking dc3 who'd often only just gone down after a long feed 45 minutes before I needed to get the older two up - we'd all have had an extra 2 hours sleep if we hadn't needed to get out of the house at a set time.

Two days keeps the consistency for a toddler who'll be going back to nursery after your maternity leave. Obviously don't give up nursery for that reason but 2 days is enough.

Yeah I had a 16mo and newborn and 2 days was fine at CM (didn’t have any other help). Gave everybody just enough of a break.

We had the same age gap. The eldest went 4 days beforehand and we dropped to 3. To be honest i needed help on those days I had both, for the first 3 or 4 months. I had a non sleeper and really struggled to be patient with the toddler when I had them both, also I struggled without napping with the baby. I moved down to 3 days at 7 months when we sleep trained and that was a nice balance for us as I thought it might be hard to go up to 4 days again from 2.

I'd say 4 days for the first month, 3 days for 2 months and 2 days after that, if nursery will let you. But I find babies very difficult!

Only you can decide how much the money will help in your situation. I have exactly the same age gap plus a 6 year old and my toddler goes 2 days.

Bear in mind when working out your finances when you go back to work the toddler will get 30 hours funded childcare.

We tapered it down over time, so stuck with 4 days for first month, then did 3 days for the next 6 months (ish can’t remember exactly) and then dropped to 2 - much easier when the baby is a bit older! (That was with a 2 year gap) Worked well for us.

Thanks so much for your replies. Chatting to DH tonight I think we are going to go for 3 days a week for the first couple of months and then if it feels do-able drop to two but see how it goes before we lose the days place! Thanks for all your advice :)