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Original poster

I can't handle this!

15 replies

confusedofengland · 30/08/2019 14:43

Feeling rubbish & all mixed up & panicky today & just need to talk it out.

My niece (6) & nephew (12) are staying with my parents for 2 days/nights. My mum is looking after them in the day. She has a history of alcohol problems. My nephew just came round to my house (round the corner from my parents) because they'd been out & my mum had kept driving into curbs & edges on the way home. He said he was scared.

I went over there as soon as I could & have brought them to the park where DH is doing some maintenance for the football club he chairs. I snapped at her (I shouldn't have Sad) & just said I was taking the kids to the park, she should go to bed & I couldn't talk to her now. Wrong I know but just focusing on kids. My dad is on his way home from work. He is as bad as her in a way, keeps offering her drinks!

I don't know what to do, I feel all panicky. I feel sad for my mum & also my dad, cross at them both. I just want it not to be happening.

Oh, and the cat pooped on our sofa which I found as my nephew came over so my house stinks & is a mess! But might have to take niece & nephew there until sister away from work.

OP posts:
Windydaysuponus · 30/08/2019 14:47

Imo you should have snapped at her. She could have killed someone...
Tell your dsis she owes it to her dc to not let dps look after them if they can't be trusted.

hormonesorDHbeingadick · 30/08/2019 14:55

I think you under reacted. I would be keeping the kids until your sister can collect them and I would call the police about her drink driving.

Original poster
confusedofengland · 30/08/2019 14:56

I am keeping hold of the kids until sister can come. Will take them back to mine once had enough of park but is messy & stinks of cat poo Blush

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AtrociousCircumstance · 30/08/2019 14:57

You’re under reacting. Your mother could have killed those children and/or others.

Take them home with you.

It sounds horribly stressful for you Flowers but it IS happening, this is the situation you cannot turn away from - she can never look after those children again. You and your sister need to discuss it seriously.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 30/08/2019 14:58

why is your mum looking after them if she has a history of day time drinking?

Snap away I'd be furious (Im saying this as a child of an alcoholic who regularly felt on edge and scared as a kid)

ButterflyOne1 · 30/08/2019 14:58

Why the hell would your sibling put their own children at risk? Do they know she has an alcohol problem?

Those kids need to stay with you or go back to their parents. I'm furious and I don't even know your Mum.

mbosnz · 30/08/2019 14:59

Good on your nephew for being so smart as to come and tell you his concerns.

Good on you for going and collecting them, and keeping them safe. If you can have them stay with you, that would be best. I say this from having been in the position of your niece and nephew, it's no fun and it's scary.

Do not feel bad for being short with your mother - her behaviour was completely criminal and negligent. Of course you are angry. She could have killed her grandchildren,an innocent passer by, or herself.

Original poster
confusedofengland · 30/08/2019 15:24

I have told my nephew I'm proud of him for handling this maturely. He's having a few issues of his own at the moment but dealt with it well. He knows about his nan's drinking, he has seen it before Sad

My sister said she thought it was being dealt with. They live an hour or more away so don't see parents as often as I do. We all were told it was being dealt with, but it's either not or it's not effective. Personally I can't leave my kids with her & this has stopped me working much as can't afford childcare either. But is my choice.

OP posts:
NoSauce · 30/08/2019 15:30

Christ alive. You’re going on about the cat pooing when your mum has been drunk driving with her GC in the car?

She needs her car keys taking off her before she kills someone!

Sorrysorrysosorry · 30/08/2019 15:34

I would be reporting to police that she is a known drink driver so that every time they spot her car she can be pulled and checked before she kills some poor innocent person. Either that or just take the car keys away so she can’t get behind the wheel again.

Original poster
confusedofengland · 30/08/2019 15:36

She lost her keys apparently (according to Nephew) so no chance of driving. My dad is home now & wants me to take kids back there, I've said no & my sister agrees.

Cat poo is kind of lighthearted, I need something not so dark to think about. Although is also a concern as don't want to take children to unhygienic/smelly house & am also now worried that cat is ill.

OP posts:
sprite25 · 30/08/2019 15:44

I agree with previous posters, as hard as it might be as she is your mum, you should report this to the police. People who drink and drive shouldn't be allowed a licence, its only a matter of time until someone gets hurt or worse.

Sorrysorrysosorry · 30/08/2019 15:45

I think we all focused on what happened but I have just reread your op. Flowers
I feel sad for my mum & also my dad, cross at them both. I just want it not to be happening
Perfectly understandable feelings tbh. Alcoholism is terrible, just focus on the fact the kids are safe. Can you maybe speak to your mums Dr? Ask re referral to help your mum IF that’s what she wants. I hope the cat is okay.

Original poster
confusedofengland · 30/08/2019 16:10

Thanks sorrysorrysosorry

OP posts:
Bouffalant · 30/08/2019 16:13

Of course you weren't wrong to snap at her.

You would have been perfectly justified calling the police.

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