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Original poster

At what age would you leave your DC alone for 75 mins?

28 replies

LittleDoritt · 30/08/2019 09:41

I think my DD is too young still but I'm curious as to what others do.
The children's activities have swapped around a bit for this academic year - for the worse. Although they don't have scheduled activities every day, their sibling has something on the day they are free which means being out of the house for a period of time every single day after school. No day to just come home and hit the sofa.
It got me wondering at what age I can let the elder DD chill at home in front of a film while I ferry the younger to ballet, music etc.
DD is (just) 9, and we would be away from home for a maximum of 75 minutes.
What would be your minimum age?

OP posts:

legalseagull · 30/08/2019 09:42

Year 5, so 9/10

legalseagull · 30/08/2019 09:43

That was the age my mum cancelled the after school childminder and I was given a key to let myself in. I'd just watch tv!

Original poster

LittleDoritt · 30/08/2019 09:43

Also, she does not have a phone and we don't have a landline, but we do live in a very close community and she could knock on any one of our neighbours doors if she was in trouble. They all have children she knows.

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Mumshappy · 30/08/2019 09:43

My dd8 is nearly 9 and theres no way I would leave her home alone at all. Shes a sensible girl too. Dd15 was not left home alone until secondary school and I started small and built from there.

Grobagsforever · 30/08/2019 09:44

I'd leave my 9 year old, she could use the Alexa to contact me though,

KatharinaRosalie · 30/08/2019 09:44

I would at 9. But is she OK with it? Where do you live, does she know the neighbours in case she needs help with something unexpected?

Kazplus2 · 30/08/2019 09:45

Age 11 for that time. I started at age 9/10 with the odd half hour, slowly building up.

milliefiori · 30/08/2019 09:46

And even then they didn't like it. I think 13 is quite late but so much depends on the temperament and maturity of the individual child.

Unshriven · 30/08/2019 09:46

I left mine for that long at 9, and for shorter periods at 8. They had a phone though and I was only ever about 20 minutes away.

bigchris · 30/08/2019 09:47

Year 6 so 10 or 11

Just 9 too young imo

How does she feel about it though? Massive difference in personalities and nervousness at that age

CoastalWave · 30/08/2019 09:47

I would at 9. These kids who aren't left to fend for themselves until high school are the reason so many of our youngsters are completely incapable !

The main risk is fire - ie does she know how to get out of the house safely and call for help.

PaquitaVariation · 30/08/2019 09:49

10/11 but it depends on your child. I wouldn’t do it at all if they didn’t have a way to contact me though.

MadameFoner · 30/08/2019 09:50

I think 9 is a bit young but it depends on their maturity, by putting it in minutes it sounds ok but its an hour and 15 minutes! i would definitely give her a phone though if you did do it, to have to go outside knocking on doors if something went wrong is not really a good idea imo.

Original poster

LittleDoritt · 30/08/2019 09:52

She's very mature and sensible and I think she would love the idea of it - but I can see her getting very nervous in reality. My gut feeling was that we are at least a year off being able to do this, but I wondered what the "norm" was.

OP posts:

LemonBreeland · 30/08/2019 09:52

11 was the age I did this length of time or more. At 10 perhaps 20 minutes or so. I do feel 9 is too young, and I'm pretty lax.

Heymummee · 30/08/2019 09:55

My son started coming home from school on his own at the end of year 5, he was home alone from 3:30 until 5:30 and loved it. He starts secondary school next week and has spent a few days during the holidays on his own too, all he does is eat and watch tv or play on his computer. He has a phone though and we called him regularly to make sure he was ok and also made sure he knew not to cook, boil the kettle, answer the door to anyone or do anything silly like run down the stairs (he has a habit of rushing everywhere and falls all the time).
I would perhaps try by leaving them for half an hour, see how they go, then build it up.
Some children although very sensible really wouldn’t like being at home on their own so I guess you have to try and see what happens.
Do you have a neighbour you trust who you could speak to to let them know the situation? The lady that lives next door but one to us has children and is a stay at home mum and she said if he ever needs anything he can just knock on and they’re there.

RedskyLastNight · 30/08/2019 09:58

I said 10 to your title before I read your OP. I would consider it for a 9 year old. I would get her a phone though especially as you don't have a landline (you can get very cheap "brick" phones).
If it's just a question of leaving them at home while you carry out sibling ferrying, is there no option to drop sibling at activity and come home while they are doing activity?

Spinnaret · 30/08/2019 09:58

I started leaving my younger more sensible child for up to about 45 mins at just 9. It is gradually extending and I reckon he would be fine with 75 mins now. He knows how to Skype call me from his tablet if needed.

His older brother couldn't cope with being left at all before age 11. He hated being alone and used to get very distressed. The only thing that changed that was getting him a phone so he could always call

HollyBen · 30/08/2019 10:05

I occasionally leave my mature sensible 8,5 year old at home whilst I take my youngest to nursery. The round trip takes anout 20 mins. I have also left her for around 30 mins,when i do nursery pick up. She can contact me during this time. And noramlly sends me at least 1 message as she gets bored on her own. I would not leave her dor 75 mins yet

SudowoodoVoodoo · 30/08/2019 10:08

If she's just 9 now, she is two years away from being just 11, going into y7 and not having childcare and independently going to/ from school as a normal behaviour.

It does depend very much on the child. It might be a bit soon for 75 minutes now, but that time will be approaching soon.

My oldest is 8, not far from 9 and is happy for about 15 mins. My criteria are: he has a landline with numbers programmed in, he knows the emergency exits and to get out and most critically could he get to me if he has a problem. We have a lot of community facilities that are within a 5 minute walk that he is capable of doing himself (although he doesn't do them free range). I wouldn't leave him to go outside that range yet. He's the kind of child that would rather have the quiet time to himself than traipse up and down ferrying his sibling around. From y3, the extra curricular activities have an option for the child to make their way home although it doesn't tend to be taken up at that stage, tbh our journey is that short and simple, I believe he is capable, but I would rather be with him for a while yet.

Hammondisback · 30/08/2019 10:13

I think, for just 75 mins, it would be OK, but only with access to a phone with your number in.

HysteryMystery · 30/08/2019 10:17

I would probably. But not without a phone and not without building up from 30 minutes. And it would depend if I could get back quickly or not.

NewLevelsOfTiredness · 30/08/2019 10:25

I think the 'close community' thing makes a difference. We leave SD9 alone for 20 mins or so while we pop to the shop but she has a phone (no data, just for calling us) and we absolutely trust our neighbors - that's a massive factor (when I first moved in SD proudly informed me that the whole street adores her and her sister - and she's right.)

I'm not sure we'd leave her for 75 minutes but she's not the most mature in her year - not that she's bad either, it's just a variable age I think and she falls somewhere in the middle :)

Original poster

LittleDoritt · 30/08/2019 10:45

Thanks for your answers. Most of us seem to be in the same kind of range. I think we'll start working towards that slowly as a goal for this time next year, and I'll look into getting her a "brick" so she has a way to contact me.

OP posts:

Toneitdown · 30/08/2019 10:53

Hugely depends on the child. I'd go with your own instinct.

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