Is this sexist

[Helzybaby]

So.. During a meeting at work to discuss a new starter and thier induction training and what courses they need to go on, my manager said " given she is a mother with children at home she may not be able to stay away for four night" My point is this, would he have said " given he is a father with children at home he may not be able to stay away for four nights" I'm of the opinion he would have said that if the new starter was a man as he was referring to a stereotype that mothers need to stay at home .. I welcome thoughts and opinions.

My dp could stay away from home for 4 nights and the dc wouldn't bat an eye, if I stayed away for 4 nights, my youngest especiay would be going mad.

I don't think it's sexist at all personally. She is a woman, she is a mother and the fact he's highlighting that she may not be able to means he's making allowances. He may have said exactly the same for a male new starter too, you don't know at all. I have faced sexism in the workplace throughout my life but I think here he may just be stating that it is a parent who may not be able to stay away for 4 nights, the fact he's said mother is neither here nor there, she is a mother.

If he'd said "this new starter will probably have kids at home so probably won't agree to staying away", that I would see as sexist as he's presuming that being a woman she has children and won't stay away from them.

“ He may have said exactly the same for a male new starter too, you don't know at all.”

I do know at all. And so do you!

Seriously? Is all you've got to worry about? Get a grip

Sounds as if he could have been being considerate rather than sexist to me. Some women would absolutely not want to leave their dc for four nights and maybe that’s what prompted that comment.

“Seriously? Is all you've got to worry about? Get a grip“

That proves it- it’s definitely sexist! People only say this about properly sexist things.

He was being both considerate and sexist. Happens all the time. You're right that he should have simply said, We will have to speak to Employee about overnight stays, rather than ventured an opinion about her family situation.

He probably would have asked her though, he was just saying to his colleagues that given the fact she had children she might not want to be away for four nights. I don’t really see a problem with it personally.

@BertabdRussell, no I don't know at all. I would have probably said exactly the same thing as him, not because I'm sexist, but because I have children and know it's difficult to leave them for 4 nights. I would have said EXACTLY the same thing if it had been a father. She is a mother, that is her title, yes she is a parent but she is a mother too.

Yes it's sexist. Most people hold sexist views due to the fact that we live in a patriarchal society.

However, he holds sexist views and is willing to be flexible with the woman and her job role. Other people may have the same opinion (new mothers can't work away) and decide not to hire her. So I think we should recognise that sexist views are acted upon in different ways, some worse than others.

Agree with pp that the problem is structural.

Thank you to everyone who took the time to share your thoughts and opinions on this.