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Possibly Pregnant Through Sexual Assault?

20 replies

Molly97 · 29/08/2019 02:18

I’m not sure if this is the correct place to be asking this but I really do need some help and.. reassurance.
I went on a ‘girls’ holiday this year for the first time, we left July 16th. I don’t usually drink, never really but I decided to let go for this holiday and ended up doing some shots and drinking quite a lot. We spent the holiday in Spain for 1 weeks. On the 18th we left the complex and went to the nightclubs, we had lots of free shots and drinks just for going into the clubs and because I don’t usually drink, I got very drunk, very quickly and moreso than any of the other girls. Our ages ranged from 19-22 and I am 20. On this night I remember dancing around with friends and feeling numb because of how drunk I was, a guy grabbed me who didn’t speak English and I couldn’t understand most of what he said but I do recall him thrusting into me and trying to life my dress. I knew I wanted him to stop but my mind and hands to push him away just wouldn’t connect so he carried on kissing me, and chest whilst touching my dress. I don’t even fully know how long this went on for, in my mind it was a few minutes but my friends say I was with him for around 15-20 minutes. I remember he said ‘now sex in ass’ at which point I was able to pull away from him and basically throw myself into the ladies toilets. I found my friends though and we went home. I felt sick by it all but honestly just forgot about it. On the last night I met a guy again whilst out and he seemed lovely, I enjoyed talking to him and having drinks but again, I got very drunk very quickly but I did consent to kissing him. But I told him I didn’t want to kiss anymore after he was being a bit forceful and that’s when I realised he’d had his hand up my skirt the entire time and had been putting his fingers inside of me. I felt sick, I was actually sick and asked him to go away, this was at our hotel as a few of the girls brought a group of guys back which he was with. It scared me that being drunk meant I didn’t even feel him touching me there. I had a long term boyfriend but we’ve been broken up for a little over a year and I haven’t had sex since so I was shocked I didn’t even feel anything that he’d done.
Again though, I didn’t tell any of my friends anything that happened with both guys and just forgot about it.
It’s now August 29th and I was due to start my period on August 3rd. I haven’t started nor had any symptoms which means I am now 26 days late and it’s been 59 days since my last period. My cycle length is usually 29-31 days. The last 6 days I’ve been feeling sick around nighttime, I’ve been having milky discharge quite a lot and the worst of all is this feeling as though something is pushing on my bladder causing me to have an urgent need to urinate which when I do, doesn’t relieve the discomfort. I’ve started to notice my stomach is getting a bit swollen and my mum mentioned today that I look really bloated which I do feel. My skin is really bad also, I have a gathering of spots on my chin and side of my jaw. My sleeping pattern is all over the place and I’m exhausted but wake early each morning for no reason.
I am just nervous a lot. I don’t want to do a pregnancy test because it seems stupid when I have no recollection of having sex but I am worried by that mans statement of ‘now sex in ass’ makes me think he was having sex with me already? Would I not have felt it? But I didn’t feel the second guy? Am I even experiencing pregnancy symptoms? I want to go to the doctors and plan to this Friday but I know they won’t do pregnancy tests (my doctors surgery doesn’t offer them as I looked online), shall I explain everything to the doctor or just let them check me over and see what happens? I know logically I should just do a test but the outcome scares me and I just can’t being myself to do it. I know none of my friends would understand and I’m worried if I explain my worries to them then they’ll just laugh and say I’m overreacting and it’ll be a thing they always mention as a joke. I don’t want to tell my Mum because she’ll get upset by what happened to me and she’s already very overprotective. I’m just worried and just want some advice please. Thankyou x

OP posts:
Molly97 · 29/08/2019 02:19

I’m not sure I’ve even created a thread properly!

OP posts:
Tartyflette · 29/08/2019 02:29

Your friends are awful if they laugh or dismiss your feelings in any way.
I'd say you were definitely assaulted, and may have been actually raped so please go to your GP or a clinic, you could well need to be tested for an STI.
And please, please do a pregnancy test, it will either put your mind at rest or if it's positive, clarify how you wish to proceed. You have options.

Imtootired · 29/08/2019 02:47

I would go buy a cheap test just to put your mind at ease and either way see a doctor about why your period is so late. Sorry about what happened while you were on holiday.

ShippingNews · 29/08/2019 04:58

Wasn't the first guy on the dance floor ? It's hard to image that he had sex with you while you were dancing with him. I'd just take a test and find out for sure. The urgency and pushing feeling on your bladder is likely to be a urinary tract infection, not pregnancy . There is no point talking to your friends, talking to your mum, stressing about these random symptoms, if in fact a quick wee test would put your mind at rest.

Toneitdown · 29/08/2019 05:06

Firstly, go to a sexual health clinic. Get a pregnancy test and an STD screening. You need to be sure.

Secondly, your friends sound shit. Get new ones who are more supportive and caring, and wouldn't laugh at you for being sexually assaulted.

Breastfeedingworries · 29/08/2019 05:09

Take a test because if you are pregnant it doesn’t just go away. Longer you wait less options you have. It sounds very upsetting what happened and I’m sorry it happened to you. Please visit gp, and get tested for stds and pregnancy. Xx

tryingtobebetterallthetime · 29/08/2019 06:01

I just wanted to tell you that you have nothing to be ashamed of. You are young and inexperienced. Those men were behaving badly and took advantage of you.

I remember worrying about pregnancy and STIs at your age.

The absolute best thing you can do is go and get tested and checked. If you are pregnant, which seems unlikely from what you remember, it is very true that you have more options the sooner you know. If you have an STI getting it treated right away can prevent complications later.

Go and get tested. No one is there to judge you. They are there to help. The horrible worry of not knowing will go away. Don't let fear stop you. You've got this!

jellycatspyjamas · 29/08/2019 06:09

It could be that you’ve got an STI, you could have a urinary tract infection - both of which might affect your period but only a doctor can tell you. In your shoes I’d do a pregnancy test just to give an answer to your pregnancy fears.

Aside from that sexual assault is a horrible thing to have happened to you. You didn’t deserve that and have every right to support, you’re very young still and this is a lot for you to deal with on your own.

And finally, friends who would laugh at you being sexually assaulted and would joke about it ever after, are not your friends, cut them loose.

Sp3849 · 29/08/2019 06:40

OK you are not being silly. You need too do a test and you need to talk too somebody about it. Even if it is a helpline. You can't keep something like that in. The fact that you were unaware of certain things is concerning and could indicate some sort of substance being used. Did you take anything? Have a drink left unattended? Do the test and if it comes back positive you must tell your mum what happened. You will need her support. I am truly sorry that this has happened too you and I wish you all the best x

SnuggyBuggy · 29/08/2019 06:54

Do the test, it's better than not knowing

MummyLikesCrisps · 29/08/2019 07:06

Oh love, you poor thing. First thing is to do a pregnancy test then get an STI check. Your friends are shit for not supporting you.

LynetteScavo · 29/08/2019 07:38

Do the test, at least you will know.

Tell your Mum. Yes, she will be upset because she loves you so much, but she's will want to know and help you. Hell, I'm not even your mum I'm I'm nearly in tears reading your post. Please, please tell her.

I think you might have a urine infection - I think you need to go to the GP to get that checked. I think you should also tell the GP most of what you've posted.

IVEgottheDECAF · 29/08/2019 07:46

Bless you op. Your friends should have been looking out for you Sad agree with the other posters you should take a test and look at getting checked out for stis etc

Please dont feel stupid. We were all young once Flowers

Breastfeedingworries · 29/08/2019 09:27

Hope you’re okay op xxx Flowers

SnuggyBuggy · 29/08/2019 09:29

I would also rethink some of these friends. There are friends for life and friends you are better off without.

whattodowith · 29/08/2019 09:33

Buy a cheap test (£1 from poundland) and do that first. Alternatively visit a local STI clinic who will test you for free and get a STI test while you’re at it.

It sounds unlikely to be pregnancy from your recollections. Periods can be late for many reasons, I have missed a few periods in my life and it wasn’t pregnancy. Stress can cause it, not ovulating that month, diet changes, exercising more than usual etc.

In all likelihood you’re not pregnant. I’m sorry for what happened to you though, it sounds absolutely abysmal and I’d be dropping your ‘friends’.

Gruzinkerbell1 · 29/08/2019 09:35

Your friends sound like shit friends. Please do a test, you have options x

Molly97 · 29/08/2019 09:58

Thankyou everyone for your posts, I’ve read them and I do feel quite comforted ❤️ I want to speak to my Mum but I wouldn’t know how to tell her because she’ll get upset and will probably cry which I really don’t want. I want to text her what happened, give her a chance to read it whilst we’re both in the house and then she’ll probably come to my bedroom. She has a dress fitting today 11am till 1pm so she’ll be out of the house. Should I speak to her before or when she gets home?
Thankyou! Sorry for all the questions!
I tried to tell one of my friends about what happened lastnight, I gave her a brief (5 sentences) message about why I was worried and she did in fact laugh and tell me to just do a test and then made jokes about it. I just think sexual assault is just so common that she doesnt even register that I’m describing sexual assault because similar stuff like that happens to her all the time also :(

OP posts:
formerbabe · 29/08/2019 10:23

Poor you Flowers

Do you have a sexual health clinic near you? If so, please go there and explain this to them...they will be able to help you.

Chupchup · 31/08/2019 17:48

How are you?

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