Other people’s comments on your pregnancy

[GoldPaperStars]

Why the f**k do people do it?!

I was in IKEA tonight and a woman who was shopping with her pregnant daughter started talking to me. She asked when I was due and when I told her she looked at my bump and said I looked like I was due MUCH sooner (when I’m actually due within days of her daughter).

I’m 23 weeks and have put on maybe 12lbs since the start of my pregnancy when I was a size 12/14. I’m also very tall. Not that it fucking matters because it was none of her business how big my bloody bump is!

I was so annoyed at how insecure it made me feel. Like I’m doing something wrong somehow.

I’ve had Hyperemesis, epic heartburn and am shattered constantly, but I’d almost take that over the constant unsolicited “advice”, comments and horror stories that people come out with as soon as they see that you’re pregnant.

Make me feel better - tell me I’m not the only one who has had to endure this joyous pregnancy side effect...?

She was just chatting / making conversation.

Everyone carries differently. It isn't a criticism, it is just 'chat'.

Most folk who are pregnant are happy to engage in idle chit chat about it - it makes a change from the weather or how poor the bus service is.

I smacked a colleague from another department’s hand away when she was lunging at my bump in the lift once. I don’t think I even knew this woman’s name, for God’s sake, and suddenly she’s all over me.

Sympathies, OP. Pregnancy brings out deeply weird atavistic behaviours in other people. Some people I knew banged on endlessly about it to the point where I had to point out they were giving my pregnancy way more headspace than I was on the average working day. I was trying to finish a big project before taking maternity leave, and was very focused, and I swear that clashed with some colleagues’ ideas that pregnancy was a time for placidity, mental drifting and yoga.

Making conversation would have been asking if we liked the nursery furniture. Taking a step backwards, making a dramatic wide eyed shocked face and sounding SO surprised about someone’s physical appearance is not light chatting with a total stranger.

IdahoGreen There are people I know who are so excited every time they talk about my pregnancy. It’s very sweet, but I can never work out why they care so much.