How can I stop being so bloody lazy!

[Asta19]

I live in London so there’s just an enormous amount of delivery services I can get. I also work from home. Today I needed some milk and some other minor bits and pieces. I had it in my head I would go for a walk at lunchtime and pick these things up. Well it didn’t happen. Instead I ordered it from Sainsbury’s “chop chop” service. Which ironically I read about on here. Everything I needed delivered within the hour. Great in one way but I can see myself getting lazier and lazier. My DSis, when she came to visit, even commented “wow you never need to leave your house” (she lives rurally with scant delivery options). And she’s right. I don’t. But I’m fully aware that this isn’t healthy. How can I motivate myself to get out and about more? All my friends are out working in offices during the week so I can’t arrange to meet anyone. And being by myself the motivation just isn’t there, I end up taking the easy option. How can I kick start a more healthy routine?

Buy a dog!

Do you need to take your anti d’s as soon as you wake up? Even delaying by half an hour or so would give you the opportunity to get up and go for a brisk walk then take them when you get back.

Yes I have to take them straight away as I get that buzzing in my brain that people get when they forget to take it. Those who’ve taken anti-d’s will know what I mean. It’s not a pleasant sensation at all and makes you feel dizzy.

I like the idea of a dog, but I can’t as I travel a fair bit and wouldn’t have anyone else to look after it when I’m away. Also, in all honesty, it’s a bit too much responsibility! My mum has a dog and she has to time everything around the dogs needs day in and day out. Now my DC are grown up I like the freedom from responsibility!

I’ll definitely check out swim classes. It’s been something I’ve wanted to do for a while now. I do have an appointment tomorrow so I’ll have to go out then! It’s a shame we don’t actually have any independent shops here. It’s all Tesco metro and Sainsbury’s local and Nisa! If we had a proper butcher, greengrocer etc I would enjoy going to them. Years ago my grandmother used to go out shopping daily in the morning and buy the fresh food for that day from various stalls and small shops. It’s not quite the same just going to Tesco’s every morning!

You've had some good suggestions but ultimately it's down to you to do it.

Do it as early as possible to get it out of the way and eventually it will become your normal and you'll actually miss it if you can't. 🙂

Get a hobby. Join a group of some kind. Do you have to go out in the day? What about evenings? You don't have to be exercising to get out an make yourself more energised.

Ultimately, it is down to you. You have to want to make a change and so far you have given a reason as to why you can't do any of the suggestions here. Even those where you have tried to say something positive, like the swimming, I can almost hear you saying "I'm can't do that". Being stuck indoors on your own all the time will make your depression ten times worse, and it is a vicious cycle, as in turn your depression will make you not want to do anything. You need to break the cycle, but you have to want to. No one else will do it for you.

Regular exercise will help with sleep apnoea. My husband used to do similar in his sleep. He's now a mental cyclist and just does regular snoring! Unless he's eaten loads of crap then I notice he starts to skip breaths. Diet and exercise make a huge difference.

You just have to get through the tiredness and start the exercise before you see any benefits.

I also have depression I get the laziness and not wanting to get up and go. I have been a keen runner in the past (injured for over a year 😭) so i know it helps but that doesn't make it any easier to get out the door.

As I say, I also don’t like it when posters give numerous reasons why they can’t do helpful suggestions! I realise it’s very negative but to be fair, things like the medication are issues though. I can’t change my reaction to them by being positive or making more effort. Even when I was working every day in an office I would still get up early and take my meds at least an hour before I left home.

I get why it would be more sensible and would work better for me to get out an about early. I just can’t do it first thing. And I wasn’t being negative about the swimming, I genuinely do want to do that.

And while it may seem I’m rejecting every idea. Some of them are sinking in and making me think. Like I was thinking ok there’s no independent shops right here but I could do some research and see where there are some and maybe take a bus there, then do some shopping, have a coffee etc. As I say, I’m in London so there are lots of other areas not a million miles away and I do have a place in mind that’s around 20 minutes away.

And with the dog suggestion I started thinking about the “Borrow my dog” site.

So people’s suggestions have been helpful in making me think, ok I can’t do exactly that but maybe I could do this instead. So they have still been appreciated!

Accept that you are never going to feel like it.

Never.
Ever.
Nobody wakes up and decides to eat healthily and do exercise. They don't just suddenly feel like it. They do it and just get on with it and are happy afterwards, but nobody ever "feels like it".

If you accept that then it will be easier to do it.

I've been thinking about you op and I'm glad I've refound your thread..

I have the very same symptoms - aka depression. I simply cannot get going in the morning. Drives me nuts! The very last thing it is is laziness. Ime the more I chide and beat myself up the less I can do.

For me it's like the brain is fine but the motor's gone. That's the best way I can describe it. I simply can't function normally.

A few tips that help me: make the whole morning routine easier/shorter/less onerous. You don't have to shower every day, you can wash. You could try immediately getting washed/showered and dressed first thing when you go to the loo in the morning eg leave your ADs upstairs, take them when you wake up, go for a wee and get in the shower /wash. THEN go downstairs. This transforms my day bcs I've launched without realising it.

Appts in the morning are good but beware, I often get to them dragged through a hedge backwards not brilliantly ready. But at least I'm there, up and out, doing something. In general though I make appts in the pm to make sure I'm calm and ready.

As a pp says, it's the thought of it all that puts me off and I simply can't do it. I think this is where routine is our friend : plan it the day before = a little list (ADs, wee, shower, makeup, dressed, breakfast) and don't think about it, just do it.

At the moment I manage to get going half the time. Maybe more like a third. But it's better than nothing eh. I'm also working with some mental health charities to work through getting going on some pressing issues - have a look in your area.

Thank you springydaff I actually like the idea of a checklist. I love lists As weird as it sounds I am more likely to follow things if they’re written down. Years ago, when my depression was a lot worse, I did used to plan out the whole day on paper, even down to when I’d have a cup of tea etc, and I did follow it a lot of the time. Then one day my neighbour came for coffee and I’d accidentally left it out and she laughed at me and told a few others what a weirdo I was and I felt so embarrassed about it, that I stopped doing it. I’d actually kind of forgotten about it until your post. Maybe I need to start doing that again but keep it somewhere private! I was ok when I worked in an office but now I work from home it’s all gone to pot. I do prefer working from home but I do need to sort myself out.

Oh and motortroll you may have a point there about the sleep apnea. I can’t be sure, but from what I can tell it’s only developed since I started working from home. I hadn’t made the link but reading your post it makes sense.

@Asta19 I'm sorry about your neighbour making fun of your lists! That makes me sad.

You should try starting them up again, sounds like they really worked for you.

Hope you're having a good day xxx

I work from home snd could have written this!

The only thing that works for me is to get up and have a shower, get ready and dressed right down to shoes within 20 minutes of waking up. Otherwise I lose the whole day.

Ugh that's a mean neighbour you've got OP!

I have a couple of friends who I have tons of respect for (and who are very successful professionally) who make lists for everything both at work and at home.

I need to get in the habit of making a list every day. I have an awful habit of frittering the day away doing NOTHING and then realise it's 4pm. I hate myself for it.

Luckily I don’t live near that person anymore, she really wasn’t very nice! I’m taking on board what you are all saying. Staying in PJ’s (as tempting as it is!) is not working for me. I need to be clean and dressed before I start work. It’s Friday tomorrow and I do have that appointment (it’s at 12:30) to be up and ready for anyway. So starting Monday the new routine kicks in. So over the weekend I shall make my lists! Thanks everyone

First up, stop saying 'it works better for you' to do it later in the day. It doesn't. If it did, you wouldn't be struggling with doing it. You need to be really honest with yourself here, and that's painful to do.

Getting moving first thing in the morning is sensible. Once you're up and moving, the rest of the day flows better. The day almost takes care of itself if you can get the morning sorted.

So perhaps skip a shower in the morning - shower or bathe in the evening. Have clothes ready. This is where lists come in handy. Make sure you get the next day's clothes ready before you go to bed at night. Get up, take your medication, get dressed and then fuss with your hair and makeup until the medication kicks in.

Then go outside. It doesn't have to be far. Just around the block is fine. Just get moving. Do something daft and fun like download Pokemon Go in your phone and go and spin a pokestop and catch a Pokemon. Or download a podcast and listen to it as you walk, or ring a friend and chat as you walk. Anything, just get outside and WALK!

Easy to say Hypatia!

It's self talk like that that ensures I'm stuckety stuck: the more sharp and scolding I am, the more stuck I am. Just saying.

Maybe the thing is to have everything ready the night before - like shoes and socks by the front door, mug for tea out in the kitchen etc, so you can make as little effort as possible to get up and on with your day.
Is there, say a nice baker’s shop you could walk to - even get public transport to and walk home back from?
I am quite lazy, but keeping a bullet journal has helped me a lot (and I love a good list).
Learning to swim is a great aim.

@springydaff I'm under no illusions it's easy. I had a DH who is a complete metal breakdown and was hospitalised for long stretches of time. His recovery will be very long and drawn out, and I doubt he will ever be able to live with other people again.

I've had days where it's been a struggle putting one foot in front of the other. Having school aged DC made it imperative that I haul myself out of bed for them.

Trying to get out of the day HASN'T worked for the op, even if she has wanted it to. If it had she wouldn't have posted what she had. So why not try for a different approach?

Lists have worked for the op, so she can use them to her advantage. If she made a list of what she needs to do to get going in the morning, she could get some of the things done the night before, particularly those it's easier to faff about with - getting clothes ready sometimes feels like a HUGE chore for me, so having them ready in the morning when I struggle helps.

Also setting 'false' deadlines or nonessential appointments for me helps me when I'm procrastinating. Arranging to meet a friend, either out or at home, it's not essential, but once I've done it I know I will get moving and will get there, or will tidy up the house to have them over.

Fair enough Hypatia 💐

A friend of mine gets motivated by putting on his running stuff straight away. Puts it ready, puts it on. Then you’re ready to go.

I wish there was a solution, I’m a terrible time waster and super procrastinator. It’s not great.

Is there a rehoming kennel or greyhound trust near you OP? You could start by popping and taking them a walk a couple of times a week?

Learning to swim would be brilliant for getting you out, improving your depression and giving you confidence. Go on OP, it’s a great idea!! X