Do you have to be RIGHT or WRONG?

[LaMarschallin]

This puzzles me about internet message boards (of which I have limited experience, so this may be my misconception).

A lot of the time posts are very "pro" or "anti".

I'm using Meghan Markle and Prince Harry as an example because that's something I've noticed a lot in the short time I've been on MN (and I'm putting on my protective clothing as this may go wrong; that's not my reason for posting though).

So. For example: I'm a republican. In a mild, non guillotine way. I'd prefer it if we didn't have a royal family. It seems outdated. I think the queen isn't a bad egg and must have had to bite her lip a lot in the past when rumours about - for instance - her relationship with Prince Philip were being voiced.

I also think she's had a life of massive privilege and shouldn't be seen to be approving of Prince Andrew. Although he's her son and a mother's love etc

I think the younger generation of royals want the privilege but are less willing to accept some of the restrictions that go with that. If I was Meghan, I'd wear light-coloured nail varnish with good grace if I could spend thousands on a dress.

But I also think that racism and jealousy are behind part of the criticisms.

I know I'm jealous of very rich people.

It's not just the royals.

It's dog lovers vs dog haters.
Formula vs breast fed.

Does everybody feel they have to be totally right?
Does nobody sit on the fence (albeit leaning a bit one way or another)?
And is it seen as a loss of face to just say, "Sorry, I was wrong/made a mistake" on occasion?

I dont love OR hate dogs

Im sure i would love my own dog in the same way i love my children ( not quite the same obvs but you catch my drift)

In the same way I dont often have very strong feelings about things...i tend to think that people do whats best for them

So yeah...bit of a fence sitter I suppose

Maybe people only post when they have a view, and don’t bother with the sitting on the fence positions.

Oh and deffo what neil said

There are lots of topics that I have no strong feelings about either way (eg the royal family, breastfeeding).

But there are some topics I do feel strongly about and I guess I'm more likely to post on those threads? So threads attract people with certain opinion.

In the same way I dont often have very strong feelings about things..

Yes - I guess that's what I was trying to say in a much more long-winded way

People seem to get so aggressive and swear-y and not see that if someone disagrees a bit with them they're not totally Satan. And might agree in other ways.

Perhaps that would just be too boring. It's why I posted this on Chat rather than AIBU.
It's just a chat

"So threads attract people with certain opinion."

I totally agree there.

But opinions seem to be so black or white.
Very few light or dark grey opinions.

And a lot of dislike of people who haven't exactly the same opinions. Not much reasoned debate.

Mind you, that's only my opinion

Quite often I’ll look at a thread that is asking for an opinion, take one look at the very black and white answers and think

Fuck that!!!

I have the world's greatest splinters up my arse and very sturdy fences for sitting on.

I view things very much in shades of grey and generally like discussion, but don't tend to get too involved in polarised serious MN discussions e.g. Brexit because there's just no point in trying to engage with very black/ white thinkers, and there's probably a lot of other shades of grey types who stand back and let polarised oppositions slug it out. I simply don't have concrete enough arguments to engage in much more fixed view points which may either be much more researched or worse, thoroughly entrenched despite reason.

It's why vegan Vs omnivore type discussions tend to get heated and go down a usual direction as to be a vegan, you'd have to have a clear, often moral (animal welfare/ environment) purpose to deviate from the norm so veganism is more attractive to those who tend to be more black and white, and those types of vegan tend to tarnish veganism in general. There are some obnoxious omnivores out there as there are in any section of society, but generally omnivores aren't much more invested in the issue more than liking a balanced range of tasty food and hoping it had a decent life and dislike feeling preached at for living a normal lifestyle.

Opinions are like arseholes, everyone has one. Some shit more often than others.

because there's just no point in trying to engage with very black/ white thinkers

You're right and I should try to avoid it for the good of my blood pressure

You're absolutely right OP - the internet age has been a steady erosion of the concept of nuance. Everything is polarised to the extreme (although maybe that's nothing new - It was the best of times, it was the worst of times etc).

I think people forget that it's ok to have complicated, messy, subtle thoughts and feelings about things.

If the queen lost her crown tomorrow she would still be independently rich all that would change is she wouldn't have to be polite and wave at people

And harry and Meghan could catch as many private jets as they wanted

Is Megan refusing to wear elegant nail varnish

Bring out the guillotines!

the internet age has been a steady erosion of the concept of nuance

That's a lovely phrase: my compliments.

And, just to lay out my stall, this wasn't intended as Meghan and Harry thread BogglesGoggles and
slipperywhensparticus.

I won't be arguing with you.
I appreciate I can't demand a thread goes in any direction.
If you read the OP you'll see what I meant.

(Oh sorry! Just thought: were you being ironic?)

An oldie but always relevant

I read your op I think early morning me was just saying that disliking the royals and wanting them gone is pointless we would be poorer economically and it wont make a bit if difference to them so why waste your effort I would love to be rich unfortunately I'm not I'm poor and it sucks but I'm alive

@slipperywhensparticus

I see what you mean.

I'm sorry, I probably sounded very picky. It was just I hadn't started this thread to be a RF one. I definitely chose the wrong main example to give in my OP! The RF was the main subject that had struck me recently where everyone is determined that they're right and, like the cartoon above, will try to make other posters agree

And on SM people don't ever seem to apologise or say, "Well, you have got a point there but I don't agree with everything else you said". Or something like that.

(Just to say I wouldn't mind the RF going, as I said, but maybe my viewpoint is tainted with envy for riches and influence I couldn't dream of)