I feel so defeated

[Jumblebee]

I honestly don't think I can do it anymore. My second DD is 18 months and I am so done with the screaming, hitting, tantrums whenever she doesn't get her own way!

I thought it would be nice to take her and older DD to soft play this morning as it's the last week of the holiday. Just had to physically wrestle her into her pram, whilst listening to her scream like someone was murdering her. I broke down in tears in the middle of our back lane because I am so bloody sick of every single thing being a battle with her. She is strong and it took me 4 goes to get her strapped in, I had to hold her down so hard it probably hurt her.

I lost my temper and once again shouted at her. I know I'm doing everything wrong but I don't know how I can control the way I react. I just feel so mad and resentful that since she has been born she has been so clingy to me, she is still breastfeeding, she hits and headbutts when she is frustrated and has awful tantrums.

I feel like i can't take her out because it's just so embarrassing, I'm constantly waiting for the next tantrum to start and my older DD has lost her happy mum and has to put up with a psycho shouty mum sometimes I wish I could just take DD1 and move away, how awful is that?!

I know this won't last forever but I don't know if I can last much longer without having a complete breakdown. I need help but I don't know what to do.

Sorry your feeling like this. My DS is two but I found between 1-2 really hard.
He is a hair puller and a hitter and wouldn't follow or do anything I asked. We are now starting to come out the other side but it has been a battle. He still has epic tantrums including a hilarious inclusion of forward rolls but he doesn't lash out at others as much.

Have you tried reading how to talk so little kids will listen I found that helpful for changing the way I spoke to DS.

Clingy or not , who can give you a break ? Can you leave DD2 with your DP for s few hours ? Do you have family close ? Please ask for help . This will pass but I remember how it seams a very long tunnel at the time . Is there s patern ? After a break , you can look with clearer eyes . I didn’t go out for a long time with my DS2 as he was a horror, then I found a friend with an equally awful son .... perfect ! The boys were the same size so nobody got squashed . That saved my sanity till he grew out the other side . Now 21 and a peach . I’m sending every good vibe .... you are not alone💐

I have heard of that book meepmoop, I think I'll see if our local library has it. I'm glad to hear you are coming to an end of the awful tantrums, and glad someone else has gone through it. Sometimes it feels like everybody else's babies are so lovely and mine is just miserable all the time.

Pope thank you for the kind words, I do have DP to help and he often takes DD2 so I can have a break but with him working full time and me working every Saturday ther isn't much of an opportunity for me to leave her as Sunday our only day together as a family. I feel so guilty asking anyone to watch her through the week, as she can be so difficult for others I feel guilty if she misbehaves. And I feel like she is my child, I should be able to cope but I just can't.

It's OK when we can go to our usual baby groups as she gets distracted but with the holidays they haven't been on so trying to find things they will both enjoy has been difficult. Even a simple trip to the park yesterday was ruined when she tried to escape through the gate and rolled on the floor screaming when I brought her back in.

I wish I could find an equally naughty baby for DD to team up with so I could commiserate with an equally frustrated, demented mother!