Witnessed a terrible accident this evening

[AtSea1979]

Just returned from Ride the Lights in Blackpool with DC. Someone was hit by a tram going flat out. I couldn’t see DS for a while so I freaked. We are home now but i’m feeling very shaken. DS is sleeping in my bed because he’s upset. No news as yet about the poor person and their family. Such a lovey event turned tradegy. We have prayed for them.
I just needed to get it out as i’m on my own and feel very sad and shaken.

Sounds awful. I'm not surprised you feel shaken. It might help to talk to someone in real life as well as on here

Oh poor you. I saw a hit and run in Portugal the woman died at the scene with many on lookers, just watching. They got the man and the car who hit the woman moments later. This was 20 years ago and I've never forgotten it. My mother was unable to sleep for days she was traumatised.

Oh op. I’m sorry.

How old is DS?

How awful. I'm so sorry you witnessed this. Extremely traumatic.

Your poor son, how old is he?

DS is 14, DD is 3 years younger and hasn’t bat an eyelid. She’s gone to bed singing to herself! It was possibly the way I threw myself at DS when I found him and burst in to tears which has made it more traumatic for him

Poor you, I can well imagine that you are very shaken up and may be for a while yet.

Dh and I witnessed a bad car accident a few years ago and had to help the people involved whilst waiting for emergency services. It was awful and both of us had trouble sleeping for a few days afterwards. Dc were with us but only young so they didn’t see anything.

Do try to talk to people in real life about it as well as on here and make sure your son can talk and get his feelings out.

Thank you. I doubt i’ll sleep much tonight.
Keep checking news and twitter for any updates but nothing as yet

Witnessing something serious like that is going to have an almighty effect on you, it's normal.

See how you feel tomorrow and ring your GP if you think you might need some support to talk about it, or temporary sleeping aids.

I've never liked trams because I have a fear of trains and tubes, to me a tram is like a train on the road.

They're not meant to go super fast though, except on particular parts of lines which aren't on the regular road so let's hope it wasn't fatal.

You can get through this. You won't forget it but it will eventually become a background memory.

Oh no, that’s terrible.

Was the person walking or on a bike? You implied they had family with them? My brother was there tonight.

I think they were on a bike, it all happened so fast, there was a bike under the tram too so I assume it was theirs. Lots of families there so assumed that too. Lots of people screaming, couldn’t be sure if it was relatives or not

I know it’s hard, but they say to practice careful ‘mental first aid’ on yourself in these situations. If you let the film of the incident keep playing in your mind, it’ll create a groove in your brain (not technically, but I reckon it’s a good enough metaphor). It’ll become a ‘go to’ memory, and can throw your mood into the future. Don’t let it take hold.

Distract yourself, derail the thought every time it starts. Whatever it takes. Don’t play it over and over. Good time to get meditation apps if you don’t already. The kind with voices. Or watch some YouTube tutorials on something unrelated and fairly technical, that requires your focus.

Help your DS to do the same, maybe without letting him know it’s a strategy. Or consider an activity that directs the traumatic feeling into a positive outcome. My DD saw an animal killed on the road. We lit a candle at church for the animal, and all the other sick & injured animals in the world. Then we made a small donation to an animal centre, from her moneybox, to help other injured animals. It really helped her put it behind her, and attach a couple of actively good memories (quickly) to the bad one.

Also, try and sleep. Your brain processes things for you when you sleep.

I’m local and will be checking the news too. Really hope they’re okay.

You’re bound to feel shaken, I hope you can get some rest soon

OP playing Tetris has been shown help with processing traumatic memories.
www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2017/04/09/523011446/how-playing-tetris-tames-the-trauma-of-a-car-crash
So if you can't sleep it might be worth a try.

Social media says it was a young lad riding too close to the team or something and got caught under a tram

Woke up to the news it’s a 14 year old boy, just like DS he’s alive though

I was just reading the news OP, how awful for you. I once saw an accident, it resulted in an death and I struggled for a long time afterwards to try and make sense of it. I hope the boy makes a full recovery and you are ok too

So sorry OP Give ds extra hugs today and talk to each other.

That sounds nasty, no wonder you are shaken

Thank you. Been trying to keep busy today, though kept checking my phone for updates on the boy to see if he’s going to make it and if there’s further news on whether he was part of the group that were playing chicken with the trams all evening

I just come on to see if i could get advise about my son. And I found this post. My son was there and is not coping well at all. It was his best friend and he see it all happen and much more after that no one should have to see let a lone a child.

exciting10
Your dc could contact childline, they have phone and online.

www.childline.org.uk