Now I'm a mum to a toddler, I no longer believe in...

[OhTheGenderHokeyCokey]

'Washable' pens . Absolute nonsense. Multiple pen marks on my sofa show it's all a con. They don't wash off.

Any others?

Sun cream that doesn't turn the collar of white school polo shirts yellow. Haven't found one yet and I've tried em all. X

Washable paint ! Hmm butter fingers and sunscreen and sudocreme do not wash off

@HarrySnotter we have a clear spray (banana boat I think!) suncream that would do the trick for you! £4.99 from
Home Bargains!

Oh there's a B & M 10 minutes away - this could be what I've been looking for for the past 15 years!

Now I'm the mother of two toddlers I no longer believe that play dates should happen without wine or gin

See also; nursery stained clothes. Never clean again. No idea what they are painting with. Must be the paint version of sharpie pens because that's not coming out either.

No clue on the nursery stained clothes, they have meals cooked for them so not much different to at home and I cannot for the life of me get the stains out!!
My DD has drawn on the wall with something and I have tried to paint over it several times but it's still there shining brightly 🙃🙃🙃
She now has a special nursery section of secondhand clothes to save me feeling too emotional about it!!

If your sofa is leather hairspray should get pen out

@Coconutbug zinsser could be what you’re looking for, the perma white interior one is brilliant at covering stains/marks, water based and can be painted over.

Now I’m the mother of two toddlers I no longer believe I have a clue about parenting, nor that buying two of the same toy will stop fights.

I have found that indelible laundry markers wash out but dolmio pasta sauce doesn't. I have contemplated squirting dolmio into a fountain pen and labelling the clothes with that.

Hand gel,gets permanent marker off fabric so it will probably work on felt tip,pens.

30 years on I still can't get to grips with how much banana stains clothes. How can that be? Such an innocent fruit causing so much carnage.

Crayolas do wash out pretty reliably. I don't believe in 'Vanish' whitening powder stuff, though.

The efficacy of condoms

Crayolas do wash out pretty reliably. I don't believe in 'Vanish' whitening powder stuff, though.

Ah, they are WHSmith pens. Serious stuff there.

Love the idea of using Dolmio sauce to mark names on school clothes!

I think they were WHSmith! It was time for some nostalgia :)
Wilko ones are another story!

@BalloonSlayer sunlight gets rid of tomato based stains (dolmio!) just peg out for a few days (or hang in front of a window) and they'll disappear. See also: baby poo.

Tomato stains on clothing... i used to bleach my sons vests. Or use napisan.

I no longer believe in sleep... or sanity. They are both for wimps.