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Original poster

Is my child too fat?

49 replies

Chopbob · 27/08/2019 16:59

I feel like the worst mother ever right now please be gentle.

Just had a letter from school that ds is overweight. I'm gutted. I always try to cook healthy from scratch with healthy snacks.

But I'm not sure I totally get it. He is 98th percentile for weight but hes also 98th percentile for height but because he's over 95% for both/either the NHS deem this overweight.

He is really big (tall) for his age and has solid little muscles but he doesn't really look fat.

Should I be worried?

OP posts:

desperatesux · 27/08/2019 17:34

No not sumo but she plays a sport where her size in her position is a help. I would say for instance when she was 14 she was 14 stone and now she is 16 etc etc

It only goes one way and its awful.
I don't think 24 KG sounds too bad, for instance she was 32 KG at that age. It is 1000% down to over eating, when she was small it was constant treats, take out , I never saw her without food in her mouth

RedCrab · 27/08/2019 17:35

Using the NHS children’s BMI calculator, those measurements puts him just in the very top end of within healthy range (88%). So I guess I would take note of that, and just adjust his portion size slightly to keep him within healthy range?

It’s probably a good thing just to be aware of it. He sounds very active and may well be due a growth spurt.

ThrowThoseCurtainsWide · 27/08/2019 17:45

I got the letter saying that DD was overweight. I went in to ask her teacher what their opinion of her height / weight was. She was also surprised that she cane out as overweight. Both my DCs have always been 9th centile for height (length as babies) but 50th for weight. I can see both of their ribs. They are not 'skinny', they're never going to be beanpole kids. But both exH and I are below average height with heavy skeletons. Even when I was suffering with an eating disorder and visibly gaunt I was still classed as being at a healthy weight, despite visibly obviously not being. The NHS scales don't take into account family body shape or muscle-fat ratio, so they may not be accurate, an appointment with a GP / practice nurse can help you understand their weight a bit more

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Weight management

Raphael34 · 27/08/2019 17:46

Chopbob
Perhaps.. this annoys me a little though as my neighbours recently complained about this. Her 3 children are between 4 and 11 years of age and are between 3 & 5 stones overweight. They get little exercise and they knocked at 8am this morning to play with my children, eating chocolate mousses and a bag of sweets for breakfast, then 3 cheese toasties each half an hour later. She swears they’re a healthy weight though. She’s a nurse aswell so should know better

Original poster

Chopbob · 27/08/2019 17:47

I'm definitely going to keep an eye on what he is eating from now on and tbf I'm not in amazing physical condition myself lol so I probably do feed them and myself way too much, although dh is really fit and very slim.

I think ds sadly takes after me, not dh.

I might see if ds wants to go running with dh too as well as all of his clubs.

I'm just a bit gutted

OP posts:

Original poster

Chopbob · 27/08/2019 17:54

@Raphael34, oh no no no! I don't even buy chocolate regularly or mousse. And sweets for breakfast is just grim. Poor kids

OP posts:

RedCrab · 27/08/2019 17:55

Oh OP, don’t be gutted. Food, weight, health are all incredibly emotive things when it comes to our children. Completely the other end of the scale but my six year old DS recently had a very bad stomach bug and lost 4kg. When I weighed and measured him, he was other end of the scale and underweight (7%). It was a horrible feeling. We just want our children to be healthy and diet and weight can be tricky things.

Skittlenommer · 27/08/2019 18:12

He does eat A LOT though so I think portion size might be the problem. He's always hungry! He eats as much as me!

Your child should not be eating as much as an adult! Overweight children are more likely to be overweight adults and are at an increased risk of a range of health problems in adulthood.

raspberryk · 27/08/2019 18:16

That is very nearly the weight of my almost 8yo... and 6kg more than my tall almost 5yo. We are a large framed family too...
I think you may be a little in denial tbh.
Also re look at what you are eating as well as portion sizes and what you deem as healthy snacks. Protein over carbs, will keep fuller for longer. I also don't subscribe to this low fat or no added sugar swaps, they are worse than the natural full fat/sugar version.

Deadringer · 27/08/2019 18:19

If he eats healthily and is active I wouldn't worry about it at all, whatever the school say.

Rubicon80 · 27/08/2019 18:38

My son's also 5 (though approaching 6) and also very big for his age - but he's 124cm tall and weighs 23kg. So a fair bit taller than your son but about the same weight - in fact a bit lighter.

And I wouldn't want my son to get any heavier than he is, so I think your son is probably a bit too heavy. But not morbidly obese as someone said!

For comparison my daughter is nearly 9, 135cm, and weighs 26kg. So they don't gain a lot of weight as they get taller.

He sounds active. I think you probably need to focus on diet rather than exercise. Can you reduce stodgy carbs, reduce fat, increase green veg and citrus fruit and lean protein?

Don't panic

MoreSlidingDoors · 27/08/2019 18:40

He should be the percentile below his height percentile, not on a equal percentile. I know this because D.C. was the same- 95th for weight and 91st for height. At their height they should’ve been 75th percentile for weight. I did loads of research and had this confirmed by a doctor

That makes zero sense and implies that neither you nor the “doctor” understand what a percentile is.

kaytee87 · 27/08/2019 18:43

BMI calculator shows him as 88th centile. Sounds like the letter was a typo.

feesh · 27/08/2019 18:54

Just by way of comparison, OP, my 6 year old boy is 122cm tall and weighs 22kg.

Passthecherrycoke · 27/08/2019 18:57

@MoreSlidingDoors the alternative (that they should always match) would mean that a child on 100th percentile for height could not be overweight though, wouldn’t it?

MoreSlidingDoors · 27/08/2019 19:22

No. But the example given was that a child at 98th percentile for height should be at 75th percentile for weight. So that puts the 99th percentile height child at 76th centile for weight, 100th percentile for height at 77th percentile.

So which of the 100 children concerned should be at 78th, 79th, 80th........... 99th, 100th percentile for weight? And what about the children below the 24th percentile for height?

THE MATHS DOESN'T WORK!!

LenoVintura · 27/08/2019 19:30

DS1 was 98th centile for height and weight for most of his childhood. He was huge - looked like he was in the wrong class as he was a head taller than everyone else. He was also greedy and easy to feed.

Looking back at school pics, he doesn’t look fat as such, but big and strong. He’s 33 now, 6ft 1 and very powerfully built. To be brutally honest, he could do to lose a couple of stone at least. He plays rugby and is fit, but no doubt he’s going to run to fat if he doesn’t look out.

My advice would be to recognise that he’s a big kid, and be aware that you need to watch his weight and portion size like a hawk now because he very likely will grow up to be an obese adult.

titchy · 27/08/2019 19:30

So which of the 100 children concerned should be at 78th, 79th, 80th........... 99th, 100th percentile for weight?

The point is that NONE of them should be! They're overweight. The kids the same height who sit on the 24th or lower centile are underweight.

Centiles are based on actual heights and weights of hundreds of thousands of children - not limited to healthy BMI children.

Passthecherrycoke · 27/08/2019 19:31

No sorry sliding doors I don’t know why you got that impression but that isn’t what I meant at all.

It’s simply taking the centiles very roughly as 0,25,50,75 and 100, and suggesting the weight should be in the centile below. There is no maths, it’s very obviously not an exact science.

MoreSlidingDoors · 27/08/2019 20:02

The point is that NONE of them should be! They're overweight. The kids the same height who sit on the 24th or lower centile are underweight.

No. The point is that each percentile represents a child. They all exist. 100 children, ordered by height or weight. You can’t just cut 25 of them out.

titchy · 27/08/2019 20:59

They all exist

Yes And the science says that the top 25 and bottom 25 won't be within the healthy BMI range.

If the world has a sudden about turn in 20 years time, then those parameters will change. Hopefully given a representative sample of 100 children a given height only the top and bottom 10 will be outside healthy range.

bamboocat · 27/08/2019 21:06

It is a very long time since I've read quite so many misconceptions all in the same thread.

titchy · 27/08/2019 21:10

Actually I see what you mean now slidingdoors Sorry!

Fairyliz · 27/08/2019 21:15

I used to work in a school office and I hated it when the nurses came in to do these checks, because I knew when the letters went out we would have parents coming in to complain.

The thing is I always knew who would get the letters because you could clearly see which children were overweight without the need for any measurements.

So if you have received a letter you really need to take it seriously.

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