Hello,
I’m feeling really disheartened and flat - it’s my first time posting on mumsnet.
I have two sons who are passionate cricketers. They play for a local club and when they are in the under 13’s in a few years they can try out for county. My eldest in particular is very determined to be a professional cricketer. I’m not just saying this but both boys show talent - my eldest has to work hard for it and is happy to put in all the hours god sends. My youngest has natural ability.
Anyway they play for a local side and have done for two seasons. This season, however, it’s become abundantly clear that:
- coaches children receive awards and preferential treatment in respect of matches and high quality training. I know this isn’t unusual but it was the end of season awards ceremony yesterday where coaches said, “and now the best player..... goes to my son!”
- Unless your child goes to the private school nearby, forget any support or acknowledgement of your existence whatsoever.
I don’t usually ever have problems mingling and getting to know people, even in the tightest of cliques. But this club is a real ‘us and them’. Literally we are shoved to wherever there is a gap in a big field so conversation with the other parents is not possible because they are across the other side of the field.
Basically if your child goes to state school - forget it. 95% of the players are privately educated and I’m sure there is a link between certain families and the head coaches I just don’t know what. Certain players are beyond any doubt favourites - even when ability is lacking. I am sure money exchanges take place - whether the parents sponsor the club somehow or take coaches out to dinner etc. I think I’ve figured out that the head coach has a teenage son who attends this particular private school so I assume they talk at the school gates etc. These wealthiest parents definitely invest a lot of money into the club - we just can’t afford to do that. It really feels like the red carpet is rolled out for these families whereas anyone who has a child who comes from an ordinary school is treated with a sense of, “are you still here? This is our club”
Moving to another cricket club is an option but the problem with that is the scouts tend to not visit village clubs and they definitely visit our current club. My huge concern is because the boys are constantly overlooked in favour of the privately educated children, they aren’t getting the same level of training and match experience.
A few weeks ago I did send an email expressing my sons passion and ambitions for the game. I also pointed out that they are not given the opportunities other players have. I even said if they aren’t ‘good enough’ tell them / me what they need to improve on because they are happy to work. They just said they were fine and then literally walked off to go and stand with the privately educated families! You could draw a line between the ‘in’ families and the ‘out’ families and it matches perfectly with this particular school.
So I’m fed up and can’t sleep. What can I do? I don’t have the money to pay as much as these families, I can’t talk to them because I’m on the opposite end of the field with the other state kids, I’ve emailed them, I’ve spoken with them, I don’t feel moving clubs would be right because of the talent spotting issue.... I’m trying to find a private coach in Kent but struggling a little bit.
It just feels like if you go to the private school, you are seen as someone with drive and tip end ambition. If you go to a state school, you are seen as just someone to does a bit of cricket on a Sunday.
I know some England players didn’t go to a private school. Maybe their parents had the same difficulties or it might just be at this particular club. Has anyone got some practical advice please whether to improve the boys prospects or how to get ‘in’.