Why do we feel jealous about things we don’t want?

[ColonelCathcart]

A lot of friends/acquaintances got married over the bank holiday or announced pregnancies on social media etc.

I don’t want a big white wedding or children (may change my mind on kids). So why do I feel like I should be doing that/jealous of them?

If you find out the answer please share it. I could have written that.
So I can’t tell you why, but I can tell you you’re not alone.

That is making me feel better, that it’s not just me beetroot. It’s weird isn’t it?

You are probably not jealous of the wedding/ baby or whatever, you are probably envious their life is evolving while your life has stayed the same, change is probably what you are envious of as change means anticipation and excitement. Hope that makes sense!

I think you are onto something there Betty! I hadn’t thought of it like that.

I don't think I’ve ever been jealous of something I didn’t want
Perhaps subconsciously you do ??

I think you visualize leaving school getting a career buying the car having a house etc (I know everyone’s different) but then what??

What’s the next goal? Traveling? Bigger house, newer car, marriage, children?

It’s finding that next goal and working out how to get there

Is it that someone else is “making progress”? Even when that progress isn’t something you would want?

I think CruCru's point is a valid one. I know when I was very young that I was often jealous of others regarding things u didn't want, and I think that's why. Others making progress, others being in the spotlight, etc.

Because we would like the option to have them/to have had them, I assume. If it's not the thing itself it's the happiness/freedom/success it reaped or the opportunity/freedom/wealth/whatever someone had that we didn't that resulted in it.

Not a healthy habit though.

This is interesting

I’ve never been jealous about things I don’t want

Is it maybe a desire for change? Or seeing people get what they want makes you think “where’s the thing I wanted” ?

I don’t know the answer but what really helped me was coming off social media. It was really starting to effect me, I didn’t realise how jealous I could be and I didn’t like it.

Maybe it's the happiness you want?

I reckon you are just envious (not jealous! they have different meanings) - because they have got something they really wanted and it has made them happy.

You would also like that "Yay! I have been longing for this and now it's finally happening" feeling.