"Mumsnet dad" next door

[madcatladyforever]

He is bloody hopeless and I am at the end of my wick with him.
I'm trying to sell my house and his disgusting property is putting everyone off.
He is divorced with four kids he never sees and doesn't pay much maintenance as he bought himself a three bed house with a large mortgage. I think the ex has a new partner so she doesn't care.
He is not allowed to have the kids at his house because he is so useless and they come to harm as he doesn't care for them properly and totally neglects them.
Does nothing in his spare time but cycle round the countryside. Pretty much what he did when he was married.
His house and garden are disgusting, I mean beyond belief shithole yet he is a professional man and earns good money.
Garden is overgrown to the point of jungle, he is supposed to cut the hedge on our border but doesn't so I have to do it or I can't get down the side of the house. He always says thank you so much for having the hedge cut to which I reply well actually it isn't my hedge and I, unlike you, cannot afford to keep cutting your hedge for you.
Please get it cut yourself next time, he just goes silent and hides.
His crappy old fence fell onto my flower bed and he didn't even bother to lift it off my flowers, he just left it there, said it's not my priority right now (ffs) so I had to pay to have the fence replaced as I love my garden and literally cannot stand the sight of his or him,
it did at least mean I don't have to see him.
He has a succession of girlfriends who twig after about 2 months that they are there to cook, clean and tidy his garden. Then they bugger off.
If anyone wants a mumsnet husband there is one right next door.
Thank God I am moving as I about to say something totally uinforgiveable to him.
There was one the other side for years, only older, about 60 who was just as bad.
If anyone wants a shit boyfriend to complain about in here help yourself, where the hell do these men come from?

He sounds awful. I don't understand why he's a 'mumsnet man' though? Has he told you he's on mumsnet?

No he's the kind of bloke mumsnetters often complain about on here, lazy useless husbands threads. I started calling all useless blokes mumsnet dads because there are so many of them mentioned on threads here.

You know an awful lot about his business

Apart from the garden/fence/hedge, none of it affects you does it?

Actually I quite the phrase "mumsnet dad" - there are so many threads on here all complaining about similar sounding men. Makes sense to me anyway.

Yes it does affect me. The disgusting state of his place means I'm finding it very hard to sell my house as potential buyers take one look at the carnage next door and say no thanks. I've worked hard on my place for years with very little money just physical effort and I'm proud of everything I've achieved.
He has repeatedly let falling roof tiles, badly maintained walls and fencing damage my property and even if asked nicely can't be arsed to do anything about it like tying the fence up so it isn't on top of my flowers AND I only know all this stuff about him because he used to constantly go on about it, I did not particularly want to listen.
It looks like a crack den.
If it affects me directly it is my business.
Why? Is your place like that too?

I like the phrase too ha ha

Why? Is your place like that too?

Yes that's exactly what my place is like.

Actually it's worse. I have nicotine stained net curtains, an old gas cooker in the front garden and at least 3 random old leather couches.

I expect anyone who points out his mortgage, his maintenance payments, his divorce and his cycling round the countryside doesn't affect you will live in exactly this type of house too...

You sound really stuck up and judgy, looks like you're a mumsnet mum all over.

How do you know so much about his income, mortgage, maintenance payments, custody arrangements, neglect of his children and personal life?

I agree with you mad. My neighbour rents, doesn’t work, has a long list of convictions and the police have told us not to talk to him because he’s dangerous. His front garden is like a toilet and a dump yard for rusty old cars. We want to move but quite frankly we wouldn’t buy a house near such a tip. We are waiting till he moves. It really pisses us off.

Tbh I can imagine my neighbours may have felt like this at one point.

I just about cling on to my ‘good job’ but it took EVERYTHING I had to do so.

My mental and emotional health had collapsed.

I desperately needed help, desperately.

Last summer my neighbour texted telling me to sort it out.

I didn’t know what to do, got some guy from Gumtree is tidied it but, now I’m in better health see that he basically took my £££ and ran.

I’m only just getting out of a deep slump now, I know my yard is a mess but I’m still too embarrassed/overwhelmed/scared to do anything.

I’ve been trying to do tiny amounts under the cover of darkness.

You'll get there Towering, look after yourself and take as long as you need on your yard. No one died from a bit of mess!

Thanks, I’m now quite tearful about it again.

As for the inside of my house...

I’m really trying though. It feels like a Sisyphean task.

I got some weed killer delivered, it’s got this pump thing which I can’t quite work out.

I’m going to try and sneak out later and just pour it over the whole space.

You sound like my neighbour. He's not selling his house he just doesn't like us. DH works 12 hour shifts and I'm pregnant and struggling with SPD/PGP. I can't hoover never mind cut the grass. The previous owners left a small brick outhouse full of crap that I've been trying to get rid of but by bit. When DH does get a day off it pisses with rain. The guy next door hates us, his garden isn't perfect but ours offends him more.
I've stopped going into the garden because as soon as he sees that I'm out he comes out and gets stuck in to me. When I dreamed of having the security of owning my own home this wasn't what it looked like.

My husband works 12 hour shifts and still manages to cut the lawn and has just, on 3 occasions, cleared the drive of old furniture and packages used for our new furniture despite having no work breaks and working over his allotted shifts due to emergencies (62 year old HCP).

My husband works 12 hour shifts and still manages to cut the lawn and has just, on 3 occasions, cleared the drive of old furniture and packages used for our new furniture despite having no work breaks and working over his allotted shifts due to emergencies (62 year old HCP).

And yet the bloody Queen stubbornly refuses to award him the MBE he so clearly deserves

Congrats @Genderfree he's clearly a better person than we are. Your point is?

Your point is?

That they're better than other people. Do pay attention, dear

My point is that working 12 hours of is no excuse for leaving your home like a shit hole. It’s just an excuse to be slovenly. Smart will your DH melt in the rain? How long have you left it in a state? If the lawn has been left for a couple of weeks fair enough, how long has it been left?

He won't melt in the rain but I'd rather he didn't electrocute himself with an electric lawnmower. I have no doubt that we fall below your standards.

Colourless - clearly, my fault for not noticing that.