Does it ever get better? 3rd child

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My 3rd child is nearly a year old. I am exhausted. I chose to havea 3rd but I clearly had no understanding of quite how hard it would be. I can be up 2-5 times a night with the youngest two. I have no life anymore, no time for me. No time for my hobbies. The youngest is bottle fed in the day now, breast fed at night. This has helped a bit. I feel like a scruff. My clothes are usually covered in food within minutes of putting them on from the baby and toddler. No time for hair or makeup really. Well I could probably make a bit of time but if I do get a spare couple of minutes I prefer to just sit down and drink a cup of tea in peace. The baby is into everything. Constantly climbing or trying to eat crumbs off the floor unless I hoover several times a day. I am too tired in the evenings when their dad is around so I cant go anywhere then to get a break. When does it start to get better?

Following!

I have 2 under 2 with a DH who works a lot so isn't around much to help, and it absolutely utterly relentless 😭 BUT I'd love a third child!

I like the idea of 3 adult children. Just not sure I can handle the baby stage with all of them at home until the oldest starts school (not for another 3 years!)

It really does. I remember being in tears at the thought of trying to get them all to bed when my husband went away. Youngest now 2, it's so much easier. Big steps to things getting easier when they can walk steadily, entertain themselves for a few minutes, don't need high chair/less messy eating, can watch tv! Hang in there! We've just been camping with my 6,4 and 2 year olds and feels like we are finally entering the light and a new era.

I cant wait for my youngest to walk and be a little more independent. I feel bad for wishing her baby years away but I just need a break so desperately.

themainline I like the idea of 3 older children but this bit is soul destroying.

It’s hard but just ride it out.
I had a crazily active youngest who would just run off and even the age 2 and 3 were so difficult but as soon as she turned 4 and could understand things better, things became so so so much easier.
Hang in there!

My dc are nearly 9, 11 and 13 and it’s so much easier now than it was 8 years ago. I can’t tell you when it got easier though, but it does over time. I do remember how relentless it was back then, it never stopped, feeding them, tidying up, trying to get them to sleep and stay asleep. I remember often, letting them play in dds room after bath time, while I lay on her bed and shut my eyes before trying to attempt putting them to bed because I was just so exhausted.

I’ve no words of wisdom, other than to tell you that it does get better and they do become more self reliant as time goes on.

That's how it is. Literally never ending and I am feeling so low. I dont think it helps that I suffered terrible hyperemesis in pregnancy and so haven't really been anything close to myself since early last year. I'm not sure I know who I am anymore.

Thank you so much for the responses.

Hi, I had 3 under 5. They are now 8,10 and 13 ... life is good! We just didn't feel our family was complete with 2. It was so hard when they were younger ... harder than I thought it would be going from 2 to 3. It started to get easier when the youngest started school. Hang on in there x

I am glad to hear so many saying things get easier as they get older but it seems I have a long time to wait. The youngest is nowhere near school age.

Do you work? My DC3 was in nursery at 8 months so life wasn't 100% focused on smaIl person wrangling. I was very tired though. I used to use flexi time to finish early on a Friday, go home and nap for an hr before retrieving them all just so I could have a chance of getting through the weekend. I'd say it was less bone crushingly tiring from when she was around 3.5.

I do work. 2 short and 1 long days a week. It's nice to go to work and get away for a bit but it's very much a on my feet rushing around type job. I'm on the go all day apart from break times. I've started to really enjoy the hour I get for lunch on my long day.

Would you consider sleep training? It sounds like if you could all get a decent night's sleep everyone would be happier. I did controlled crying with DS at 6 months. 3 days of it and he slept through. I think the general advice is that they shouldn't need a night feed after 6 months. We did controlled crying which is leave for 1 minute, go in and shush, leave for 2 minutes etc.. doubling the time each time iyswim. I understand sleep training isn't for everyone, but 3 nights of it and everyone slept through and it felt like I regained my sanity.

That does sound hard but there's no way I'd be hoovering 'several times a day' so that my youngest didn't eat crumbs off the floor! I have wooden floors and sweep once a day at night after they're in bed, and the floors are washed once a week. Babies/toddlers love floor food, it won't kill them. As long as it's not Lego, marbles, pennies or a slipping hazard I really don't bother.

Do you have very, very high standards? Could you maybe cut back on some stuff to relieve pressure on yourself?

I don't remember there being a turning point with mine. It just gets gradually easier with each milestone they pass. Then you have the bonus of feeling guilty for wishing their childhood away. That's all part the territory of motherhood though I think.
Mine are nearly 14, 16 and 18 now. Just try to enjoy the little moments of joy you get

No, you are outnumbered, 3 to 2 until the first one leaves home.

I found the jump from 2 to 3 dc huge and I have a fairly large age gap between my dcs. My youngest dc is around 18 months now and it is getting increasingly difficult because they are climbing on everything and into everything and need constantly watching (I am f/t sahm with no extended family and dh works full-time). DH is brilliant when he is home but I definitely get the sense of life going on around me but not actually feeling part of it. There are hobbies I would love to pursue but I am struggling now (more so than when little dc was a baby and immobile). I love my little dc but I want her to go off to pre-school, I want to feel at lease semi-normal again although at least she is sleeping through the night now. Trying to mobilise to get anywhere feels difficult - I feel isolated particularly now that the other older dcs are off school on Summer hols. My friends have older children now and I do feel a bit envious of them (although this brings with it other issues). It is the constant watching I find tricky. It does get easier - probably as they near 3 years from memory.

I was pleased to go back to work if I’m honest. Gave me a break. Didn’t make much money but to me it didn’t matter. It does get better. Just hang in there. Mine is now 15. That comes with a whole set of new problems. And I’m back to no sleeping again as he is wondering round the house at stupid times

Just came back to this thread and seen all these replies.
I don't think I could do sleep training as the baby and toddler have to share a room and I imagine it would disturb my toddlers sleep. I do wish I could get her to sleep through though. I am sure we would all feel so much better than getting up so many times a night.
cherryblossomtrees I dont actually hoover multiple times a day. It was just an example of what I'd have to do to stop feeling guilty about sitting there watching her eating crumbs off the floor. I probably hoover every 2-3 days although under the kitchen table usually daily.
Work is a lovely break for me but I wish there was a bit more time when I'm not st work to just breathe and relax a bit rather than rushing round stressed all the time. I am looking forward to having the youngest in nursery when she is a bit older.

This sounds familiar. Mine are 7, 3 and 10mo. What's helped me is the organised mum method but tbh housework is only about 10% off the madness and stuff that there is to do. I really feel like having 3 is about double of having 2. Although I'm sure it's not!

Sleep training has helped us. I think in your shoes I'd be putting baby to bed and then toddler. What I did was make sure she was REALLY full and then bed straight after. I also started with naps rather than bedtime. I can now put her down and leave which has been the biggest thing to make a difference in our lives.

I'm just about to become a childminder and will be entirely shifting my focus in the days. Money will pay for a cleaner and we're going to be doing a lot more batch cooking. The evenings are currently spent working on paperwork etc up until 11 or 12 so I hoping that will change at some point!

I sort of think that we go through relentless times in our lives and this is it for me. I try to get some downtime by ignoring real life from time to time - simple soup dinners or skipping changing the beds or a weekend away. One day it will be better!

Soon. I promise.

It’s get easier as each month passes until suddenly (in my case) you’re looking at a 4,5 and 8 year old and you’re getting mostly...sort of better sleep and they can all feed and dress themselves and can entertain each other for 10 minutes a while, don’t need a buggy and you go back to only needing a smaller bag when out and about.

I tell my husband that I seriously thought that when we had children, both sets of grandparents would want to be as overinvolved as they are with my nieces and nephews, which would have been a boon, but the lack of support has been almost as shocking as my youngest’s sleeping.

I also put the middle and youngest in a fab local church hall nursery that took children from 2 years old.
I went with two mornings a week and then upped it to three mornings once settled, (£14 per morning). It saved my sanity tbh.