How do I respond to this text message?

[MaureenMLove]

I've just got a text from someone, who obviously knows me, because it said, 'Morning Maureen', but the number is not in my phone book. It then says, 'just want to let you know that mum passed away on Saturday....'

How do I respond to that? Who ever it is, knows I've read it, because it's an iMessage. I need to say something, but how? I don't want to say, 'who are you obviously. It needs to be delicate. I am wracking my brains to think if anyone I know had a poorly mum or could it just have been sudden? I'm of an age when so many of my friends have parents over 75 tbh.

Do you have Facebook? I think if you type in the phone number it might show who's number it is

Maybe offer sympathies to all the family and see if any names are in the return message?
What a pickle!

Or offer sympathies and ask when the funeral is and where. Then check the funeral times to see who it is?

Ah, ok. I'll try that. Thank you. It's too early for any of my friends on Facebook, so I can't ask any of them.

A white lie? Say you've got a new phone and numbers didn't all carry over properly? Apologetically of course...

Sorry op, unclear, do you mean they know you because they have used your name but you know it definately can't be regarding your mum? Or it could regarding your mum but you are worried about how to reply as you don't have their number?

Hmmm.... As it hax your name on its obviously not a general text to many on address book. I'd reply that you are very sorry. Ask if anything can do to help, do they want to talk and can they let you know of arrangements etc. Hopefully the reply will give more clues....

Sorry, my mistake, thought message said "your mum" not "mum"

I'd do the same as Windydaysuponus suggested.

And to be honest people at such a point won't be thinking about whether you have their number at that point of sending message so I'm sure it's ok to ask in a nicely phrased way who it is

I think if you type in the phone number it might show who's number it is

This doesn't work anymore.
I think youre just going to have to be honest and say
"I'm so sorry to hear this. I hope you're doing OK. I'm really sorry but my phone has had a moment and I don't have your number saved, can you just clarify who this is please?" then when they reply you can say "I did think so but I didnt want to assume..." and carry on.

Do u have whatsapp? If you save the number into your phone then look at your whatsapp contacts it may show a picture or something relating to them on there profile you may recognise x

A relative maybe? I’ve got family members that I don’t keep in contact with and various parts of the family I don’t really know - but they would send me a message if someone died. Have you a sibling or parent you can ask?

Add the number to WhatsApp and see if you recognise their profile picture

Yes! The WhatsApp option, try that

Surely it's better to just be upfront right away? As in, " I'm so sorry..... I've had a new phone, and not all my numbers transferred over....?"

If you try and guess, surely you could exchange quite a few texts and be none the wiser?

Oo yeah WhatsApp is a good idea, it might have their name as well. Otherwise I think fessing up using wording like gracefuloctopus suggests is the best option.

Think I'm going to wait half an hour or so, until some of my friends are up and about. Been best friends with someone for over 30 years and she might have had a similar message as we know mostly the same people.

WhatsApp! Brilliant. Thanks.

No, don’t wait half an hour. Whoever it is is reaching out to you. Honesty is the policy.

‘Morning, I’m so sorry but my phone doesn’t seem to have saved your number, so I’m not sure who this is. No idea what’s happened there! I’m so sorry about your Mum. If you can reply to this message I’ll resave your number and I’m here for you any time.’

I would just reply, I'm sorry my phone has had a glitch. It's only giving me phone numbers not names do I don't know who this is/can't tell who sent this message.
Then when they reply it's Joanne/Fred etc.. Then you can reply eith with a call or text offering your condolences.

Umm, I have no idea who is in the picture! Back to square one!

No reason why OP shouldn't wait half an hour. The person concerned has probably texted loads of people to notify them, and will be well aware that not everyone looks at their texts immediately.

Just send an extremely apologetic message, explaining you don’t have their number saved in your new phone, and say how sorry you are to hear the news.

Ok, I've done it. Sent my condolences and said my phone is playing up and only showing numbers not names. Please call me if you need anything. Now I wait, to see who it is...