Trapped in a lonely marriage

[OneStar8383]

I’m so lonely and feel completely invisible in my marriage of 10yrs. Feel trapped in a loveless, sexless marriage. I have asked to separate but he then insists can’t let go because he loves me and we have a child together , yet within a day or two it goes back to the same thing... anyone else experience this kind of situation? Just nothing worse than being invisible and just there to serve the needs of your partner at their convenience - feel so sad that my marriage has come to this.

That sounds awful. Rather than say you want to separate perhaps you should just move out.

Moving out is hard at the moment as own a house together, majority of which I pay mortgage for- be so hard on my toddler 😔 if didn’t have her , packing bags and going would be easier. Have no family so makes it harder and lonelier... nothing worse than being lonely 😔 and I know what I need to do, but do I have the courage to do it? No is the simple answer 🤷🏻‍♀️😔

Stop servicing their needs. Don’t cook a meal. Wait until they are hungry and there is nothing on the table, and say “let’s go to the pub”.
Start making demands on them. Make yourself visible. x

Your visibility is in your own hands. You have to make the change. He won't. Like other posters say stop servicing him. Start going to groups where you meet other mums to get contact.

I feel trapped in a boring marriage - thank god for the internet, netflix and shopping!

How old is your child ? To be honest it's easier to move when your children are young . As long as they have you, and their familiar things around them, I've found toddlers to be pretty easy to move. It's much harder when they are older - so do think about that. You could spend the next 20 years in this situation, not moving on because "it would be hard on DC" .

Your child needs a happy mum, not a miserable one.

You need to find the strength from somewhere to give you the energy to move on from this. Of course your husband doesn’t want to split, he has you there to service his needs, why would he want to give that up?

You say you are ‘trapped’ but you aren’t. The door is wide open and you can go as soon as you decide to. It’s not easy but picture yourself in your own home with your DD, no useless man there draining the life from you, you living life on your own terms. You can do it!

Come on - he "insists"? And you pay most of the mortgage? You just bloody "insist" that he moves out - you're being used by him for a comfy life. It's not really ok. I