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Original poster

Should I encourage Dd to shave her legs?

32 replies

Whathappenedtothelego · 25/08/2019 20:23

Dd starts secondary next week - she's 11.
From what we've observed, most girls at the school seem to wear tights.
But, it's hot weather at the moment, and Dd has spent basically the whole summer is shorts and t shirt - she'll bake in tights with a blazer as well. So she'll be in socks.

I suggested I could help her shave her legs for school. She looked alarmed and refused. I told her it doesn't hurt, but she still doesn't want to do it.
Obviously it is her body, totally her decision.
But I don't know if she really understands the implications. I don't want her to be laughed at, she's a bit innocent and "geeky" in comparison to peers.

Would you push it?
She wouldn't wash her hair unless I made her, maybe this is similar?
If she was refusing for ideological reasons, I'd be fine with it (actually I seldom remove my own body hair either). But if it's just through naivety it's different. I don't want to let her down.
Sorry that was a bit long . Advice gratefully accepted.

OP posts:

Northernsoullover · 25/08/2019 20:24

I'd leave it. I was 13 when a friend saw my legs in PE and commented. I shaved them the next day.

Russell19 · 25/08/2019 20:24

I think she's too young. Maybe in a few years or when she wants to.

dementedpixie · 25/08/2019 20:25

No dont push it. It's her body so she gets to choose if and when she removes her body hair. You can let her know things are available for her to use if she wants to do it

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dementedpixie · 25/08/2019 20:26

I don't think she's too young but if she chooses not to that's ok too

WorraLiberty · 25/08/2019 20:26

Just leave her alone.

If she wants to shave them she will. Don't create a problem where one doesn't exist.

thelonggame · 25/08/2019 20:30

I've got two adult daughters and was led by them. Wait until she suggests it herself, she'll let you know when she's ready.

BoomZahramay · 25/08/2019 20:32

No. It's not a hygiene thing. Just tell her you're there to show her if she ever wants to do it.

MajesticWhine · 25/08/2019 20:35

No don't push it. No need to make a big deal of it. Support her if she asks for it, but no need to push it.

RedskyLastNight · 25/08/2019 20:36

Absolutely let her decide if she wants them shaved or not. There is no reason why any girl or woman should have to shave their legs if they don't want to.

LtJudyHopps · 25/08/2019 20:45

I wasn’t allowed until I was probably 13 odd. Once you start there’s no going back so leave her until she wants to do it.

GaraMedouar · 25/08/2019 20:48

Gosh no - don't push it, why should she shave her legs if she doesn't want to? She'll do it soon enough if she feels the odd one out. Or maybe she'll decide to just not, it's not compulsory.

womaninthedark · 25/08/2019 20:49

If most girls wear tights, let her wear tights. Let her fit in .

stucknoue · 25/08/2019 20:49

I bought mine battery operated razors about that age but never suggested, dd2 shaved before her older sister, she shaves everything these days, her big sister is like me and only removes hair when she can be bothered. Dd1 did take up my offer of upper lip waxing to start university last year though and now does it herself, more noticeable than legs

snowone · 25/08/2019 20:50

I wouldn't force her - I would let her make the decision. And when my DD gets to that ages I will encourage her to wax rather than shave as it lasts longer, the hairs don't grow back as thick and obviously there is less chance for cuts etc

happytoday73 · 25/08/2019 20:51

I'm not clear why you are trying to get her to shave her legs? Does she have very hairy legs that are very obvious?
I'd leave it either way and especially if she is lucky enough to have little hair or not obvious.
Be lead by when/if she wants to and show her then. It's not like washing face or cleaning hair... No hygiene issues

DrinkFeckArseGirls · 25/08/2019 20:53

Wow, can’t believe you said that to her. Keep your insecurities to yourself. I look at my DD’s leg and think how wonderful her fluff is (as ut’s part of her) and I worry sometime someone might say to her something negative about it. But it won’t be me.

AlexaShutUp · 25/08/2019 20:53

I'd leave it. My dd didn't start shaving her legs until she was around 13. I was happy to help her get rid of unwanted body hair when she wanted to do so, but I certainly wouldn't have wanted her to feel that she had to do it. Let her know that you're there to help her with stuff as her body changes through puberty, but let her take the initiative with stuff like this. It's her body.

ginandwine · 25/08/2019 20:54

Let her decide op but I can see exactly where your coming from, girls can be mean about things like that, believe it or not

treeplop · 25/08/2019 20:54

😭 as someone who was bullied for having excess perfectly normal body hair at school this makes me feel so sad.

She's a child. Let her be. Create an environment where she feels she can ask you and talk to you about it when and if she's ready.

DrinkFeckArseGirls · 25/08/2019 20:54

You’ve already let her down by suggesting her own body is anything other than perfect the way it is.

aintnothinbutagstring · 25/08/2019 20:54

My DD is starting secondary soon too, she doesn't shave her legs and hasn't expressed a wish to. She's quite dark too so her legs are visibly hairy. I'll just wait for her to suggest it. We've done her top lip once as someone teased her about it, but then we both agreed it didn't really look much different afterwards anyway so that's not been repeated I know she'll tell me if it's an issue so I'll just wait for her to say something.

poolblack · 25/08/2019 20:58

Obviously it is her body, totally her decision.
But I don't know if she really understands the implications.

I'm not sure I do 🤷‍♀️

MrHaroldFry · 25/08/2019 21:06

My DD (12) this very evening asked me to wax her legs. First time ever. She has, over the summer, become aware of her body hair (lots of shorts, swimwear etc) and wanted to address it. I was happy to help her as my D?M was totally anti shaving/waxing and I really was made to feel like the yeti at school.
Now, I go to the salon for my leg and bikini wax so DD is aware of my preference of being hair free but I hope her waxing request was her choice and not following my lead...

OrangeJustice · 25/08/2019 21:08

What? I can’t believe you even suggested it to her unless it’s something that’s been an issue for her in the past that you’ve not mentioned in the op

Original poster

Whathappenedtothelego · 25/08/2019 21:15

Well, that's pretty unanimous! I'll leave it then.
Just checking there wasn't going to be a chorus of "my 11 year old wouldn't dream of going out in public with hairy legs."

And I didn't suggest her body was "less than perfect". I just offered her to shave her legs. I offered a haircut too, which she has taken me up on. Not that different, surely.

OP posts:

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