Comedic holiday/family moments

[Kalim8]

Please share your funny holiday/family moments.

We're visiting my father. He is a bit particular.
Dh bought some nectarines, left them in the kitchen and we went out for a walk (Df stayed in).
When we returned, df informed us that the nectarines had been hard (they'd have been fine in a couple of days!) so he'd stewed them.

Dh doesn't like stewed nectarines.

The next day, Df reminded us that the stewed nectarines would need eating before they went off.

The whole holiday has superb sitcom potential.

Satnav took us into a Sainsbury’s car park and told us we had arrived at our destination.

But had you?

No! We were looking for our holiday cottage! We found it eventually thanks to some good old map reading.

My beautiful late terrier caused a few.

Arrived at hotel, beautiful evening. Sat in garden with drink. Kids playing, ducks swimming on lake. Ducks started flying, oh look, a dogs chasing them, oh shit that's our dog! Chewed her lead and off she went.

Another time broke her collar, also in a beer garden and chased some golfers to get their ball on golf course.

Went for a swim in the hot tub.

Had a bar stool named after her after stealing it from its local elderly gentleman tenant when we got snowed in one winter in the highlands.

Got lost in a residential area of aviemore and was found curled up infront of someone's fire.

She went everywhere with dh in tractor. Travelled all over the uk with us, sailed, swam, and climbed every peak. I miss her everyday, but she always made me smile.

We had arrived at our destination after a very long train journey. My brother and his friend were playing up and my dad said to them "a little less attitude, a little more gratitude!!" not realising it rhymed. We all just creased up and made a little rap song about it.

First family holiday with 1 and 3 year old in tow. Decided DH would drop me and kids at terminal with some luggage then park and bus to meet us with the rest of the luggage. We hadn't flown out of Luton before so were expecting something like Stansted where you can pull up right in to the entrance. We followed signs for drop off area, looking for ticket barrier... turns out you get a ticket as you LEAVE not on the way in so we paid £5 to drive through the drop off area. Then after an age going through security DH went to grab something to eat, as he left I realised we only had 5 mins to get to gate when the walk said 15... frantically called him and he ran back having paid for his food but not actually having got it yet. So got onto flight £20 down with nothing to show for it. Once on plane 1yr old needed nappy and 3yr old needed wee so took both to toilet. 1yr old did a huge wee all over me and DS as soon as the nappy was off. Great start.

Same holiday on our return, battery had gone on the car AND whole car was infested with ants. Luckily we had a spare battery because we thought it might be dodgy so we spent 30 mins with DH putting the new battery in and me spraying deet all over the seats...

Easter Sunday - my first time holidaying alone with my DCs.

My satnav wanted to take me to Bowness-On-Windermere through Lake Windermere.

Only a short section admittedly, but I still decided against it 😂😂😂.

@CoffeeRunner ours did that going to Skye, turn right, eh no thanks.

Aaaaw moobar, your terrier sounds like she was a fabulous wee character.

Raylas that made me chuckle, how frustrating. Where did the ants come from?!

Coffee runner, satnav tried to get me to turn right once - onto a flyover that I was passing underneath. Yep I'll just fly the car shall I.

Df tried to say "donkeys years" but said "monkeys years" instead. Good save with "donkeys AND monkeys years". hehehe

Years ago we were staying in a caravan in Cornwall and it was in the garden of a farm. My dad went out to the pub in the village one night. We heard him come back up the path and go into the outside toilet, but a long time went by and he didn't come into the caravan so my mother and I went to see where he was.
It was pitch dark and we could hear soft drunken weeping. "There's a big snake in here and it's got me," he sobbed.
We opened the door, turned the light on and find him sitting on the floor with a hose pipe wrapped around him, which he'd pulled off the wall looking for the door in the dark.

My mum and auntie once returned to the caravan park we were staying in to find a huge gaggle of kids (including me) gathered around giggling at something in huge fascination just outside our caravan.

On closer inspection, it turned out the something was my uncle, who’d nodded off while sunbathing and was snoring like a tractor.

He didn’t half get a shock when he woke up to find a dozen kids standing around him, giggling

Confidently arriving at Premiere Classe hotel with DS, using my best French to confirm our reservation and then being told that we were at completely the wrong town. We were 30 minutes away - but luckily in the direction we were going.

DS found this highly amusing.

Trying to drive my kids to Sherwood Center Parcs, I got lost.

‘Which way does the sat nav day we should go?’ asked one long-suffering DS.

Panicking, I replied ‘South North!’

‘So we just stay still then?’ was the deadpan reply.

I still haven’t shaken off the nickname ‘Twatnav’

*say

Omg, holiday house has drywood termites.
Termite man is easy on the eye though .

Driving through France, on our way to Spain. My mum wasn’t the greatest map reader/navigator.

“I keep seeing signs for a place called Centre Ville but I can’t find it on the map.”

We never let her live that one down.

In Spain, my parents went to do some shopping.

They were loading up the car boot with their goodies. People started shouting at them and gesticulating wildly.

Important phrase to know in Spanish:

YOUR MELON IS ROLLING DOWN THE HILL.

When we were in Switzerland we were walking through a cow field in the mountains (as you do) my Dad thought it was the perfect photo opportunity so posed us then decided in order to get the perfect picture he would place his foot on the conveniently placed rock in front of him.

Only it wasnt a rock and a very large cowpat!

Driving though France (2 cars), dh's car started behaving oddly. Dh decided it needed water. Managed to get to an odd looking restaurant in the middle of nowhere - looked like The Titty Twister on Dawn Til Dusk. Really didn't want to go in!! Found some empty water bottles in the car park. Went in and filled them...
Went to dh's car and the bloody idiot had tied the passport bag round the gear stick and jammed the thing!!. Car was fine after that!

your melon is rolling down the hill
😂😂😂

Italy, and DH being a rain god, it's tipping it down on the first day of our holiday. His leather shoe starts leaking so he takes us into a shoe repair place. Guy speaks no English at all but speaks slow Italian with lots of gestures. So I relay to DH that the guy would love to mend your fine shoes, and they just need his glue, but first the shoes must dry or the glue won't stick, so please, go home, put newspaper in them, and come back tomorrow when they are dry. And it'll be my pleasure.

DH is stunned that I have suddenly learnt Italian, given the day before I could manage 'a table for two, please'. Eventually I had to explain that I'd had exactly the same conversation a few days earlier with a shoe repair man at home, same gestures, same waving the glue, motioning how to shove newspaper in, the lot!

Back in the sixties when I was a little girl on holiday in France with my parents and Grandparents.
After a few days immersed in French culture with no contact with any other British tourists, we were having a drink outside a café when a man on the next table asked in perfect English if he could borrow the ashtray from our table.
My grandma replied, "yes, of course, me no smokee".
This has since gone down in family legend, like many other of my grandmas pearls.

In Antigua in a hired car looking for Nelson’s Dockyard. We think we’re there but it’s not signposted.

My sister looks out the window and confidently declares “this isn’t Nelsons Dockyard. Look at the sign. It’s Port Authority.

Ah yes, Port Authority. That would be one of Centre Ville’s top tourist attractions.

I hope there's a trip advisor review for Port Authority.