How to manage not to feel like shit

[Movingon2]

Ex H left me for another woman 18 months ago. I have 3 DC under 12. Have just turned 40 and over last 18 months have put a lot of effort into getting better, looking better - lost 3 stone, got ahead in my career and trying to make life as stable as possible for my DC.
I sort of now want something like a relationship or maybe I just want someone to make me feel attractive and dare I even say it - sex.
I understand that I’m not exactly a catch
divorced and 40 with 3 DC. However I recently met a guy in OLD and we have met a lot mainly just for drinks and sex as that is what we established we both wanted. Now he is not interested anymore and even though I knew it would happen it has reopened the hole in my heart and I feel ugly, useless and rejected all over again and on the verge of tears all the time. So how can I do this again and again until it’s right? Or even get over this stupid fling? Any advice?

I would say get yourself on the MN dating thread!

I think you've just got to just keep on - either embrace the single life for a bit or carry on with OLD. And don't take that guy's decision personally 💐

Thanks maybe I need a rest from rejection. However much I prepare myself for it - it will always hurt I guess.

That sounds incredibly painful - it would finish me off op and I'm not recovering from having my heart ripped out by a feckless husband

Go easy and take great care of your precious self xxxx

Perhaps you've realised now you can't cope with just sex?
You don't have to go with the no strings trend of recent years.

I don’t think you’re in the right headspace for “no strings”. That may be temporary or it may be permanent. I personally couldn’t do it but I know it works for some. OLD can be brutal at the best of times but when you’re already feeling low it can finish you off. I remember once years ago going on a date, it went well so we planned a second. Then he ghosted me. I can still remember sobbing my heart out over it! My rational side knew I wasn’t upset over him as such, it was the rejection. I took a long break from it then.

You have achieved some amazing things in 18 months. You should be really proud of that. I think you should either wait a bit longer to start dating or take it slow. Don’t rush into having sex with someone just to feel desired. And definitely do not tell yourself that you are not a catch! Men will sense you feel that way and use it to take advantage of you. Many people dating over 40 have DC. I’ve chatted with a few single dads and others who have their kids EOW etc. It’s very common now and no reason why you should be “grateful” for any attention.

I’m crying all over again at the kind advice. Thank you.