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Original poster

14yo teen son just confessed to having insomnia

35 replies

surreysnapper · 23/08/2019 22:42

Is this a normal phase for teens?
Anyone here have any experience of this you can share with me.

My first port of call will be the docs on Tuesday to rule out any vit deficiencies etc.

OP posts:
justasking111 · 23/08/2019 22:48

Mine had this last year asked me to get him something from Lush he had heard about. Worked like a dream.

uk.lush.com/products/lavender/sleepy

Shouldbedoing · 23/08/2019 22:49

I'd be checking he's not drinking energy drinks first.
Have you tried the usual fresh air and exercise approach? Teens for a bit nocturnal in the holidays. How late is he sleeping in?

Frith2013 · 23/08/2019 22:51

Seems normal to me but I didn’t sleep through the night until I was 35!

It is bothering him?

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

14 year olds Sleep
Original poster
surreysnapper · 23/08/2019 22:51

Hes not into energy drink at all.
Could easily sleep in until 11 during the holidays.
Has said he's had bouts of insomnia during the past school year - just lays there in bed waiting for sleep, nothing worrying him

OP posts:
EduCated · 23/08/2019 22:51

All the good sleep habits to start - lots of websites out there, but a good routine, decent amount of time without screens, no caffeinated drinks, time to wind down etc.

Is this new or been going on a while? Have you noticed a change in him?

Lulualla · 23/08/2019 22:54

What do you mean he confessed? As if he's shared something shameful with you.
He's confided in you. He hasn't confessed.

Look at his diet and what he drinks. Sugar and caffeine etc. Get him to try a guided meditation (loads on youtube) at bedtime and put a routine in place for bed. Also do visit the doc.

I really struggle it sleep. For me it's the silence. I can't stand the quiet, so I play audio books and eventually I fall asleep. Maybe he could find something that works for him. Gentle music, softly spoken audio books etc.

Original poster
surreysnapper · 23/08/2019 22:56

@lulualla - yes, confided, wrong choice of words in my OP.

OP posts:
Thro · 23/08/2019 23:10

Having a regular sleep/wake routine is the best thing for regulating sleep, getting up and going to bed at the same time every day/night, even if it’s a weekend or holiday.

And pop him along to the GP as well just to check nothing else is going on.

Newschapter · 23/08/2019 23:17

@surreysnapper is this your first teenager?

Because my teenagers can sleep til 1pm or after and I'm not one bit concerned... Mind you he doesn't sleep much either, probably because he lies to 1pm Grin

YesQueen · 23/08/2019 23:17

I had bouts of it as a teenager. Few things that helped
My dad saying don't worry if you can't sleep, lying there is resting your body
Sleep apps, there's a few free hypnosis or relaxation ones
Phenargen OTC or piriton
Valerian tea (tastes crap!)
Epsom salts in a bath
Supplement called ZMA
Getting up when I realise I can't sleep, having a hot drink and doing something mind numbing seems to help
Also I sleep better weirdly if I revert to what I believe used to be a normal pattern so a sleep of 3hrs or so, up for a couple of hours and then back to bed
I take sleeping tablets occasionally, turn up about once a year at my doctors looking wrecked and they give me a weeks worth which resets me and I'm fine then

justasking111 · 23/08/2019 23:20

I agree that lying does make teenagers nocturnal. Also does he have phone, tablet in his bed at night. That does confuse the brain re: sleep.

LeekMunchingSheepShagger · 23/08/2019 23:22

What time is he trying to go to sleep at? Cos if he's sleeping in til 11am he's not going to be ready for bed at 10pm!

Speakercube · 23/08/2019 23:35

Mine say things like I didn't at all last night but I know they have. One sleeps better at times than other times--seems to have bouts of not getting to sleep easily. Same age as yours but personally think it's being on phone loads during the day. When they are made to go out during the day (even if it's boring trip to the shops etc) or if they seen mates then seem better. It's worse during weekends and school holidays. Also complaining of tiredness. I blame phones and game consoles. Teens have different body clocks anyway which is why some secondary schools(not where we are) have opted for later start time. Personally I wouldn't go to the gp. This will just escalate the prob in Yr teens mind. GP will just say it's hormones or ask if anything worrying your teen. Google sleep hygiene. You'll find tips for pre bedtime things to do (usual stuff like-cool room/bath etc) When one of mine went through a time when it started worrying them that they couldn't sleep just by goin through the possible things that may help worked a treat. One sometimes reads and the other listens to calming music on their phone which has helped them. If it's built up as a big thing it will only escalate the problem. Teenagers often go to bed later maybe he's going up too early? My dh still can't get his head around that they often go to bed later than him but then that's another matter....

Speakercube · 23/08/2019 23:40

Also anything with tryptophan is meant to help- its in chicken and turkey. Cornflakes (I know it sounds odd but it's true....) are also helpful for sleep. That's why nurses often eat them when they come off night shift (work in health so that's where I know this from)

drsausage · 24/08/2019 04:08

My 14yo boy has insomnia. He takes meds for ADD which probably exacerbates it, but he had insomnia before he started on the meds.

He does all the right things - loads of fresh air and exercise, no screens before bed, dark quiet room etc. He just can't sleep. He sometimes takes Melatonin but that often doesn't work either.

We're seeing the GP next week.

beccarocksbaby · 24/08/2019 08:21

The doctor is going to tell you to start at sleep hygiene routine first and foremost so if he hasn't got one then start that before you go to an appointment. Most teenagers have terrible sleep hygiene mine included and it's much more likely to be that than a vitamin deficiency in a health teen.

Screens off an hour before bed
Same bedtime and get up time every day
Routine before sleep 😴
Etc

Rainbowhairdontcare · 24/08/2019 08:24

I've had insomnia since I was three or so. All doctors have said it's behavioural. My mum never noticed until I told her and I was 25!

BertrandRussell · 24/08/2019 08:25

Is he tired, finding it hard to function? Is it worrying him?

ShowOfHands · 24/08/2019 08:29

What has he actually said?

It is normal for the teenaged brain to not switch off and many teens will not feel tired until the early hours and will suit a v late bedtime whilst waking later in the day. This is due to brain development and is not abnormal.

bookmum08 · 24/08/2019 08:31

I had insomnia when I was around that age. We are talking late 1980s so you can't blame 'screens'. I think it was because my mind was buzzing with so much going on - school wise. Is he about to start GCSEs? That would be an obvious starting point for having lots of worries. I have had a lot of insomnia this summer holidays because my daughter is starting secondary school and she is not coping with the changes well - so I am in a constant state of brain not switching off and she herself has major sleep issues.
Going to see the GP is a good idea for a starting point but I bet they will say "switch off your gadgets and have a lavender bath" which is what we have been told a million times. What your son really needs is to find out (if he doesn't really know) what is worrying him. Suggest going for a walk to have a good talk. Let him get everything out.

SandraOhshair · 24/08/2019 10:18

Are you sure hes bot on his phone till the wee hours? He needs a break of at least an hour before bed.

hormonesorDHbeingadick · 24/08/2019 10:25

^ this

TiredOldTable · 24/08/2019 10:26

Confessed? It is not a crime

You don't need a doctor. You need a routine.

Dont try and fight it. If you cant sleep then get up, do something else (no technology) for 2 hours and try again

No technology for 2 hours before bed

Try moving rooms if you cant sleep

Look at the pillows and see if they are firm and clean

Blackout blinds/curtains

Get up early, dont nap in the day

TiredOldTable · 24/08/2019 10:33

it will be the cocaine use

RushianDisney · 24/08/2019 10:41

Are there any other issues in his life at the moment? I have suffered insomnia on and off for over a decade, it started when my anxiety began to escalate at 15 (which at the time everyone put down to normal teenage emotions - it wasn't) and it always rears its head again during periods when I'm stressed/low/anxious. I would be checking that he isn't feeling out of sorts in general, as that may be the underlying cause, thankfully people are less dismissive of teenage MH concerns nowadays so if this is the case you can be supportive.