How do you navigate teenagers and drinking?

[TreacherousPissFlap]

I was bought up in a very odd and restrictive household so have very little point of reference.
DS is 15 and has just this summer been to a couple of parties / sleepovers. There has been alcohol involved and in both cases the parents have been happy with this and everything seems to have gone well, mostly chatting, laughter and listening to music into the small hours.
I'm happy with this and indeed we have sent him off with a couple bottles of cider and the order to "behave". On both occasions he's been up and ready to be picked up on time and has not seemed to be suffering too greatly
Is this appropriate? I'm aware that I could simply stop him going, we live rurally and he's reliant on us for transport so we could just not drive him. If he's anything like me though this will cause him to rebel in his bedroom! and I don't want that for us.
I feel we should have some rules, but then how do we police them when he's not with us? There seems no point laying down rules we have no way to implement.
Alternatively do we just let him crack on and hope that DH's more sensible influence comes to the fore, rather than my reckless and devil may care one?

I really want to strike the balance between being "cool" yet with firm boundaries. If I'm honest I didn't expect this for at least another year, when I was prepared to be more laid back over it

You've made a good start. He's going to come home drunk at some point, so make sure he's in the recovery position, and mock him gently in the morning. At this age, my niece was grounded for throwing up into her dad's shoes, and DD faceplanted the stairs after vodka frenzy. Everyone grows out of it.

Yes my son discovered alcohol this year and I’ve had one or two phone calls where I’ve had to go rescue him from total destruction! The problem is they don’t know how much alcohol to drink so tend to drink too much too fast and next thing they know they’re getting sick and passing out.
Your child seems to be sensible so far - so was mine at first! He’s getting better at it.
I do think it’s a phase and they come to their senses. Too bad they never seem to get hangovers at this age then they might come to their senses earlier!

I text him all in capitals for most of yesterday disgrace - I'm not sure he got the joke but I found it tremendously funny.

A couple of his friends were like that pip, I've seen a chat conversation where one of them is "never drinking again"

I’d honestly say that if you trust them they tend to pace themselves. My parents used to send me to parties with a bottle of sourz and some mixers when I was 15-16 and I didn’t get badly drunk until once accidentally at university when I was coming down with glandular fever.
I will say though, I have a high tolerance for alcohol and could outdrink a lot of big men, even at 17 I outdrank my BIL. So I might of ended up in worse situations had I not been able to handle what I did drink.

I honestly respected that my parents were trusting me so I knew when to stop. I always had a water after each drink and made sure I had some food too. Maybe set some rules similar to that? I’m only 20 so not massively out of touch

You are best to be open so they don't have to be secretive about it. We bought alcohol for Ds for parties from when he was 16. He has come home drunk once and we didn't give out to him, but just explained that he shouldn't drink too fast and to stick to one type of drink.

I've been through this twice and I'd say you've got the balance about right. I used to let them have a cider at home on occasion or on holiday. I would also talk about alcohol, the different ways that it affects people, loss of inhibition and the fact that some people change for the worse after drinking.
Also make sure they feel comfortable talking to you about drinking so that if things go wrong they know you will come and get them. We live rurally and those teenage years involved a lot of night time lifts.
There's always one who gets plastered at every event and their friends get fed up of looking after them.
Both of mine managed to get to 18 before overdoing it and there were a few times at uni. Now in their 20s they seem to have reasonably healthy attitudes to alcohol.