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Original poster

Play date questions

28 replies

Themutts · 22/08/2019 14:30

I need some Play date advice as I'm currently hosting the most boring Play date in the world ever according to my DS and his friend.

Nice friend slept over last night. They had an hour on computer games, some time in the garden and a movie. At midnight I discovered they had snuck the Nintendo's upstairs into bed. Took them away and explained nicely that it wasn't allowed.

I'm woken up this morning by DS taking the Nintendo's from my bedroom at 7am without permission. Again I say no, it's much too early. I did let them play from 8-9 and then said they should do something else until 3 when they could have another hour before the friends mum comes.

These 6 hours have been the most boring hours of their lives aparently. There is nothing to do (let's not count the board games, scooters, bikes, pets, football's, huge garden, and bedroom full of toys)

I am sure they don't get to play 6 hours of computer games at other people's houses.
In the end I told them if they were so bored, I would end the play date and call nice friends mum. So right now they are both hating me and still acting bored.

What do other parents do? These are nice, well mannered kids who have a perfectly good imagination.

OP posts:

Original poster

Themutts · 22/08/2019 14:31

The kids are 10 by the way.

OP posts:

mbosnz · 22/08/2019 14:35

I'd be taking my son to one side and quietly giving him a choice.

Get off your arse and go entertain yourselves, have fun being in each other's company - kick a ball round, have a water fight, whatever.

Or.

I will be calling best friend's Mum, she can come collect him, and then I will keep you amused, dear boy, with cleaning out your room, cleaning out the garage, weeding the garden, cleaning the car inside and out. . .

Your choice dear.

I've done this myself, and it's simply amazing how creative they can get. And just how quickly.

Atlasta · 22/08/2019 14:37

I'd be annoyed this 'nice' friend is saying he's bored at your home.
I usually take my DC and friend out somewhere if they have had a sleepover the night before.
Trampoline park?
Swimming?

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Original poster

Themutts · 22/08/2019 14:37

mbosnz that's pretty much what I said but they are just sulking in my garden.

OP posts:

Original poster

Themutts · 22/08/2019 14:39

Atlasta yes, we've been swimming this Morning! They didn't want to go and I forced them. Then they came home and had a burger and have been dripping around ever since.

OP posts:

sonjadog · 22/08/2019 14:44

Are they bonding over how bored they are? In which case, I guess they are entertaining themselves in a way...

mbosnz · 22/08/2019 14:57

In that case, I'd be going out and saying, right, here's the deal. I want you to occupy yourselves for the next hour (do suggest a waterfight!!), and after that, if you've made an effort, obviously had some genuine fun, it can be screentime.

Otherwise, you lot are really getting on my tits (or however you'd put it!) with your moping about, and it's clearly time you went home.

Original poster

Themutts · 22/08/2019 14:58

Sonjadog you have a point. I just can't believe that having put in effort to do stuff I am now the boring parent, but if I'd let them sit in a darkened room plugged into a screen I would be a great parent.

Also, I've heard 3 times "At xxx house we can play as long as we like". Which is making my blood boil.

Am I the boring parent? I'm considering stopping playdates.

OP posts:

100timewforgotten · 22/08/2019 15:00

At 10 does he play out with friends?

IAskTooManyQuestions · 22/08/2019 15:02

Whats wrong with playing a game with your friend? You just want them to play board games - which are no where nearly exiting as games with graphics - instead of games they want to play. What is the actually difference really in how a game is played?

Thinking back to when mine were younger, the 'popular' kid was the one with all the latest tech

Be1atrix · 22/08/2019 15:09

Oh OP I FEEL. YOUR. PAIN.

I have a 9 year old and all he wants to do is play dates every day between him and 3 of his friends. Fine, doesn't bother me, we all take it in turns. However all he wants to do is play electronics. I make them take an hours break from electronics and they act like I've shot them in the head.

I got so pissed off last week with DS and his friend moaning at me about their boredom I called his friend's mum and took him home- I feel bad about it but I couldn't cope anymore. DS called me the worst mum ever and his friend cried in the car!

Original poster

Themutts · 22/08/2019 15:15

Iasktoomanyquestions I don't like what these games do to my kids characters. It gets them all worked up and when they come off I find them more aggressive and less kind and patient. I know it's not true of every child, but it is certainly true of mine. I'd say 3 hours in a day is plenty.

100timewforgotten we are completely rural as are his friends. They need lifts most places. It does mean they have massive Forrest like gardens so could build a fort/ den / camp out if they wanted. But they don't.

OP posts:

Original poster

Themutts · 22/08/2019 15:16

Be 1 atrix glad it's not just me!

How did the other mum react?

OP posts:

SnuggyBuggy · 22/08/2019 15:21

Is it maybe too long a play date for them?

TheBrockmans · 22/08/2019 15:28

Too long a playdate. My formula is 4pm to 10am UNLESS I know the dc really well and there is a specified plan to do something the next day.

If it is due to you doing childcare for the other child I would talk to the parent and make it clear what the rules around games are in your house. Another time suggest that they drop them off early in the morning so they don't have time to be bored.

cinnamoned · 22/08/2019 15:29

They’re leaving too late, agree with PP

Original poster

Themutts · 22/08/2019 15:33

I agree with the previous posters that it's a bit long. With my kids I always pick up before lunch, but the mum had an appointment so I agreed to it. They are nice kids so I thought they would cope. Wrong!

OP posts:

bookmum08 · 22/08/2019 15:37

Are they wanting to play a game that is better when you are playing it up against someone else? It's much more fun to play Mario Kart when you are racing against your mate than just playing it on their own. Why did you buy your child a Nintento if you don't want them to play on it? Why don't you join in? You might enjoy it.

cinnamoned · 22/08/2019 15:37

Ah at least you know for next time though OP! Not the end of the world, what’s your DS doing now, is he less bored?

Aqueo517 · 22/08/2019 15:41

Yeh it’s too long without taking them out somewhere I think. However it could also be a difficult friendship. My DS is also 10 he’s got a couple of friends who he could play with hour upon hour in an empty room, they just click. Other friends are hard work and they need input from me (a trip out ‘doing’ something). Bit like adult friendships I suppose. Also, some kids just don’t know how to really play anymore without a screen.

stucknoue · 22/08/2019 16:00

To be honest at 10 most boys would want to game all day - having a friend over is an excuse to play more. I'm not saying it's right but at that age it's normal

Original poster

Themutts · 22/08/2019 16:04

Bookmum08 its been 2 hours plus already today! I wouldn't expect him to play any game or any activity that amount of time! And no desire from me to play Mario kart. I don't mind my kids loving it but I really want them to be able to do more than one thing!

OP posts:

dustarr73 · 22/08/2019 16:08

I have a 10 year old.Just let them play the games.Its boring for them.And its not going to kill them.

bookmum08 · 22/08/2019 17:04

So if your son and his friend wanted to build Lego for hours on end without a break would you say "sorry no you must put it away and do something else"? It's the holidays. Let them play Nintendo if they want to play Nintendo. Why is this such a problem?

SnuggyBuggy · 22/08/2019 17:20

The odd long day of gaming wont harm them

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