How to tell OH I'm pregnant

[Kiwidenter]

I've been lurking on here since son was born but have never posted. Apologies if this is the wrong place

Me and boyfriend have an almost 10 month old little boy. We are young partners me being 19 and him being almost 18 (it will be the day before sons 1st birthday).

When we found out I was pregnant he was 16 and I was almost 18. He never told anyone until I was 6/7 months because he didn't know how anyone would react. He told his brother first but he wouldn't tell his parents but in the end his brother did but they reacted ok. And they have been brilliant.

I missed my period and have other signs of being pregnant so I took a test and it's positive. today I'm feeling really sick and I'm tired but he thinks I just have a bug and he's took son out to the park so I can have some peace.

I don't know how to tell him because he will probably not want to tell people like last time but it will be much harder now. And will probably get upset and blame himself like last time.

Any advice or tips?

Bite the bullet and tell him straight up.

In future, consider other contraception

The best thing is just to be direct and tell him ASAP. Perhaps when your DC is in bed.

How are you feeling about it as it sounds like it was unplanned.

Tell him once you’re both calm and alone. Then once you’ve had this baby use a much more reliable form of contraception.

Do you want to continue with this pregnancy?
I'd tell him as soon as you are alone and calm together and then you can both decide together what happens with regards to telling people.

Just spit it out. And to echo others, get a reliable from of contraception after this.

You are going to have to just say it.
Waiting for the perfect time just means you put it off and you build it up and overthink his reaction and you are so on-edge you both won't be able to think straight and discuss it.
Tell him soon as you see him next.

I'm OK just feeling really ill. I know I have to tell him but I'm worried about his reaction

How are you getting pregnant by accident twice? What kind of contraception were you using?

This time I came off the pill but we were using condoms.

The time with son I forgot to take the pill but boyfriend didn't use a condom either because he didn't have one (before son we were using condoms and I was taking the pill). But he said something like oh it will be fine it's only once but I then forgot to take the pill later that night.

With the best intentions OP, if you’re not using effective contraception or are unable to remember to take it on time, you need a semi permanent form, such as an implant, injection or mirena coil, 2 babies in as many years is not good for your body and you are so young.

But back to the matter in hand.

Tell him straight. He may react badly, or he may not, but, you both created the baby, have a friend with you while you tell him if you need to, but make sure you tell him.

Just get on and tell him, worrying about it is completely pointless.
Also, get on some decent contraception and stop yourselves having these... ‘accidents’

"I'm pregnant" usually works. I get that you're a bit nervous about another unplanned pregnancy but keeping the message short and simple is the best way to go. After he has processed the news you can move on to "now what do we do". And by that I don't just mean keeping it or not, but also practically (where will it sleep) and financially.

Also, if you don't want to end up with 10 kids before you are 30 you really need to sort your contraceptive choices out. This clearly isn't working for you.

I'm going to tell him soon. I couldn't tell him earlier because son wouldn't sleep.

I came off the pill because it was making me ill. And we thought just condoms would be ok

I agree just tell him, then you can work out together what you want to do, he is equally responsible for this situation. How far along do you think you are?

I'm not sure. I think maybe maximum 4/5 weeks.

How do you feel about it?

I feel ok about it. Just wish I didn't feel so sick. I was similar in my last pregnancy aswell

If you can cope with hormonal contraception, the implant in your arm is a good one to go for, IME. It can't fall out, it's less unpleasant to get it put in & taken out. If it does get "stuck" i.e. adhere to the tissue (it's possible with any type of implant) it's in your arm, not an internal organ, so again, less unpleasant to deal with. It lasts for years so you can get it done & forget about it. Extremely low failure rate. If I had to go back to hormonal contraception, that's the one I'd pick.

Going on the pill gave me all kinds of side effects including changing my personality, when I was 17. I stuck with it because back then we were expected to put up with the side effects and just control ourselves. It's wrong and I wish they had more alternatives to hormone contraception.

So I can understand why you came off it. Condoms are shit sometimes. Mostly OK but I've known several people who have become parents because it broke or came off inside etc.

Important thing is letting him know calmly, and making sure you are looked after while you're still unwell. You don't have to decide either way what you want to do, unless you're a lot further along than you think. I'd make yourself comfortable and if you're actually being sick, have something handy to puke in in case the stress of telling him sets you off. It's better this all comes out now than several months down the line. Like a band aid, whip it off after mentally preparing yourself. Good luck

I don’t know what the problem is. You didn’t make the baby by yourself 🤷‍♀️ Just tell him and his reaction will tell you what sort of a man you have.