This one is on houses!

[Rainbowhairdontcare]

We're buying a house... But everybody seems to have an opinion. Unfortunately our budget is pretty low for the area and we need a big house due to DSC. When everyone is at home we're a family of six plus dog and cat. (12yo son, two girls aged 7-9 and a baby boy). Half the time it's just us, the baby and our much loved cat and dog. We need at least a 4 bed house or a 3 bed with a conservatory and a dining room and reception room (or an attic room). There are a few of those but all of them are in sink estates and with a long commute to school and work (30 and 45 mins respectively). My DM (who's helping with the deposit) also has an opinion about and I think it's fair, after all we wouldn't be able to do it without her. She's more of the idea of a fixer upper, but neither of us are handy DIY people and my DH is adamant an extension is at least £20-30k. This power struggle is driving me nuts. She's not very in touch with reality either (when she saw my DDs primary school her first thought was to send her to a private school even though the local ones don't offer much more than her state school). She's adamant that the baby needs a good environment to grow in (which I agree) but we can't afford to live in a prime location! Shes also adamant that my DSS is being a complete diva about not wanting to sleep with the baby and he should just suck it up. The other thing she has an opinion about is a dog breeding side business. We did it about 15 years ago, and yes it's good money on the side (about £12k per litter) but my DH is simply not interested and I can't ask for the time off when the puppies need me the most (8 weeks) obviously we need a bigger garden and that costs more money! But I digress. Back to the house, WWYD, get what you can even though location is not ideal, live in a very small house to move in three years (once we've saved for a bigger deposit) or just wait?

If you get a 3 bed, why do you need a conservatory/attic room?

Are you being really specific or would you also accept a living room/dining room or kitchen/dining room if the rooms were big enough?

How old is the baby?

Do the DCs stay certain days or full weeks at a time?

I wouldn't wait if you can afford a house, but I think you should not necessarily take DM's opinion into account.
She's offering to help which is lovely if you couldn't do it alone financially, but it's a gift and it will be your family home.

Can you Mum help with more money? Obviously if you can't afford a house in the area you/she like then you can't move there.

Get a 3 bed and put the girls with the baby, and DSS in the little room. No point getting a doer upper if you can't DIY.
What is DH bringing to all this, btw? What compromises is he prepared to make?

If you get a 3 bed, why do you need a conservatory/attic room? That conservatory would be to move the dining table there, so the dining room becomes the reception room and the reception becomes the 4th bedroom. The attic room would be instead of the conservatory so it becomes the 4th bedroom.

Are you being really specific or would you also accept a living room/dining room or kitchen/dining room if the rooms were big enough? If the rooms are big enough, I don't have a problem. What I do have a problem with is an all encompassing room (dining room with lounge) with no privacy if our bedroom is not big enough. I work from home at times (and would like to start my PhD in the next couple of years) so I need a room big enough to have my desk and a door. Our current house doesn't have this and it's a real struggle when I need to work and all DC are watching TV quite loudly.

How old is the baby? Not born yet, due in 10 weeks.

Do the DCs stay certain days or full weeks at a time? It's usually EOW plus one weekday. Plus at least one full week on every school holiday. My DD is here half the time but she only stays 4 extra days a month.

@hubbletelescope she could, but she's so nosey that the least power I give her the better.

@DelphiniumBlue the girls already sleep together and bedrooms aren't big enough to fit them and the baby (that's why in theory it should be my DSS). DH is compromising the longer commute and he does the school runs, so that's on him.

I think with the amount you have DCs you only need a 3 bed.
Baby should be in with you for the first 6 months anyway (congrats and hope the birth goes nicely for you!).

DS needs to suck it up.

Step son doesn't need a large space for the amount he is there. Besides, at 12 it's gonna be for a maximum of 4-6 years before it stops anyway so don't buy based on the circumstances now. He would have to share with the baby since the baby will be there full time and him not a lot at all in comparison.

The girls could continue to share given how close in age they are. Perhaps a house that is middle ground in terms of location with perhaps a possible loft conversion or similar at a later date if need be but I agree with others, a three bed perhaps with an extra room downstairs for office/homework/play room would be perfectly reasonable.

It sounds like you have actually found the house you want if you know the room sizes.
As far as extensions are concerned, I suspect you'll be looking at a lot more than 20 k for useable living space ( i.e. Not a freezing conservatory).

@DelphiniumBlue we've only found one but it's not perfect. We like it because it has lots of living space but no garden.

There's a new build but not the best location and that's about it.

Is there space at the back for a garden room you can use as a study/office? These arrive as a pod and once there is concrete base, they are easy to put in. A small one would be about £10-£15K

No garden? Not ideal.
Can you wait till after Brexit, as this could well impact on house prices ?

We could wait til Brexit, that's one thing we keep pondering about.

Most houses we've seen have no usable garden.

@W0rriedMum Yes I've seen those that would solve my office needs, but we'd still need some extra room to convert it into a 4th bedroom.

What area are you looking in?

You don't need 4 bedrooms. DSS could be at uni in 5/6 years time. He can cope on weekends until then surely?

@AmIThough mid/west Cornwall. Anything between Truro and Falmouth.

DSS said that it was non negotiable and the only reason why he's ok with his baby brother is because he made his dad promise he wouldn't share a room with baby.