Please help I’m losing my mind

[imgoingnuts]

Just had a huge argument with OH about Dd (6 months) sleep.

I got so angry I threw a remote at the wall. This is so out of character for me.

It escalated as he kept arguing with me. Saying I was doing it wrong etc (he wanted her to cry it out) and said I was meant to be a guru as I’m on mumsnet and I’m making it worse etc.

I’m worried Dd will be taken off me.

I’ve got PND and I had a miscarriage last week as well

He never has a problem getting her to sleep. And she’s asleep now and it’s just proven to me that I’m an absolute failure.

Bless you, put the kettle on and take 5 minutes out of the situation.

Are you getting any support for your mental health?
Xx

I also had PND, my DD would only go to sleep with DH

It used to fill me with rage, but my doctor explained with PND and anxiety our heart rates are different which the baby reacts to

You are not a failure, dd is not going to be taken from you.
Please see a GP for your PND, are you getting any/enough sleep, you sound tired, is your oh helping out? can someone mind the baby and let you have a break?
It gets easier I promise

Sleep deprivation does awful things to us especially when combined with PND.

Could you look at other forms of sleep training? Controlled crying worked for us (very quickly) when I was utterly broken. I know it has its haters on MN, it’s not ideal but it can be the lesser of two evils if nobody is sleeping. I weighed up the crying vs the downsides to her of me being dangerously sleep deprived (eg I’d nearly dropped her down the stairs) and decided a bit of crying was worth it.

So sorry to hear of your miscarriage . I don’t know why you think DD will be taken away?

A huge virtual hug to you.
It’s sounds like you have been through so much. Sleep deprivation is used as a form of torture for a reason. You are not a failure, you are human and it’s human to struggle. I hope that you can see out some mental health support in the real world. Lots of us have been where you have, you will get through it. Please be kind to yourself

OH looks after her in the evenings and weekends so I get a break. He does one night shift a week.

She’s never been a great sleeper but past few days she’s been really bad and I’m not sure why.

He said it was because I was making it worse etc but I took her downstairs to try to get her to sleep as he was pissing me off.

I also watched some TV with her prior to that just to keep her quiet.

I’m worried I’m going to lose my husband and my baby. Or that he’s going to use my mumsnet posts against me.

I was looking into controlled carrying but he wanted her to just cry it out.

I’m putting her in her own room from tomorrow and staying in with her and going from there if he’ll let me

Sorry I’m rambling

If you do have PND then you need help and counselling, throwing anything at a wall in tiredness and frustration is a sign for f needing help with a newborn. Take the help as early as you can, better than risking losing or hurting accidentally your child

@alicewond - I’ve just started taking antidepressants again. Im seeing a HV Friday and I’m going to ring the let’s talk line today to see if I can get some counselling so it’s not like I’m not doing anything

@imgoingnuts if course you love her, that’s clear here, but you do need some help