Husband wants to leave and take children

[Madaboutmathsmum]

Husband announced this morning that he is going to leave and take the children with him, aged 11 and 12. They would move about 30miles away to where he works.
I told him there is no way he is taking the children. He is adamant he will. Been playing the aren't I the amazing dad game all day (not that the kids are that fickle and often check on the way home from school that he won't be there when they get in).
What can I practically do to stop him taking them whilst he is still looking for a house.

See a solicitor ASAP

See a solicitor.

At this age the kids opinion will be taken into consideration on where they want to live and appropriate visitation would be organised with the other parent.

Get immediate legal advice.

Their ages will go in their favour as they'll be involved in the decisions being made.

Is there a reason why he's reached this point? How will he ensure they remain at their current schools? How will he provide childcare before/after school? What about extra curricular activities, is he planning to keep those consistent?

Apart from anything else those are no ages to be moving children unless there's a pressing need.

Echo the get legal advice soonest.

He intends to change their schools.

We have been married over 25 years and grown apart.
Due to my job we will almost certainly have to move in 10months anyway. My house comes with my job and my contract runs out, although I am hoping to stay local enough that they can continue at the same school. My next contract however will be permanent, whereas he changes jobs and locations on a yearly basis at the moment.

Started Googling for a lawyer.

Should add he chooses to change jobs as he is on a permanent contract.

and often check on the way home from school that he won't be there when they get in

That’s really sad ☹️ I’ve been there as a kid

Why is he saying he'll take the kids?
The usual starting point is 50/50

You're married, they are his children, he has PR - he has equal rights to the children, they are not either of your possessions. The court will go broadly in favour of the principle care giver, with the childrens opinions taken in to consideration.

You cannot stop him taking the children without a court order. He is unlikely to get residency - from what you have said. But until you have a court order, he can do as he pleases really and you have no legal weapon to stop him. So long as you know what you are facing.

BTW - he doesn't want the children, he wants to needle you.

You can go to court and get a Prohibited Steps order to prevent him removing the children from their home at this time. It might be worth doing as if he goes to court for residence, the court will take into account where the children are currently/school, etc. He might remove them in order to shift Child Arrangements in his favour,

Another reason why marriage is bullshit. No way would any husband of mine be going anywhere with my children. I’m not married and don’t intend to, DP wouldn’t have a chance. I’d like to think he wouldn’t be that stupid to even try take my kids from me. My whole life starts and ends with them.
You need to get onto a lawyer. It’s bullshit he’s even trying. He wants to leave and shouldn’t be bringing the kids into an uncomfortable situation just for his own personal selfish needs.

Another reason why marriage is bullshit. No way would any husband of mine be going anywhere with my children. I’m not married and don’t intend to,

You're an idiot. It's not because they're married that he can take the kids, it's because he's their father. Assuming your dp is your children's father he too can take them to the other side of the country tomorrow.

Also if he earns more than you and owns the house you live in he can turf you out tomorrow, leaving you homeless and without your children. If you were married you'd be protected from that.

It echo tichy.

Don't make assumptions about you, and your children's' 'safety'.

Agree with everyone else - solicitor asap. Don't take this lightly.

Since 2003, Dads get automatic parental responsibility if they register the birth with mum. If they didn't, it's a straightforward process to prove paternity and gain parental responsibility. Kids born before this are 16+ years old so can see and contact whichever parent they want to anyway.

Agree with the others that OP needs urgent legal advice. The children are at an age where their wishes will be respected.

Get a solicitor IMMEDIATELY. Do not take his threats lightly. You need to get ahead of this before you lose your children.

Get to work immediately on a court order to prevent that. Assume the court starting point will be that you have equal rights as parents but if you are the primary caregiver, they don't want to go and their school and life will be uprooted i believe you can get a stop to his ridiculous assertion that he's leaving and taking the kids, like they are lawn ornaments or something. My husband pulled that crap too. He didn't even want the kids. He wanted to best me and act like dad of the year (he was far from it). I didn't overreact and engage him and it never happened. So stay calm and focus on what needs to be done.

Get to a solicitor before he does! Don't tell him anything about seeing a solicitor. Keep your head down as much as you can and 'go stealth'. Say nothing to the children unless you absolutely have to (to countermand anything he's said).

Have a plan. Is there somewhere 'safe' where you & the DC can go in a moment's notice like a grandparent or close friend if he suddenly announces he's found a place and he's taking the kids & moving the next day (or whatever)? If so, pack 'bug out bags' for the 3 of you and ask that they be stored there. 3-4 days worth of clothing & medications, important documents (Birth/marriage certs, passports, financial records) or copies thereof, and enough cash to get you through that period (petrol, transit fares, food, school money, etc). If there's nowhere nearby, add to the money the cost of a cheap hotel for a few nights and hide the bags somewhere he won't find them. At work? If you have separate banking or cards that he has no access to, then the cash isn't as important as you'd be able to pay for things with a card, but a hundred ££ cash would still be a nice cushion.

Start squirreling money away if he won't notice. And if you have joint banking, keep an eye on the accounts/cards for amounts that might represent rental deposits etc.

You can file a prohibited steps order yourself with the court. Ask for it to be 48 hours notified, but stress (calmly of course - all facts rather than feelings) the urgency and your concern that he may remove the children from their mother, the area and their schools at anytime.

You may find that the hearing goes ahead without you or both of you and you receive the prohibited steps pending further hearing. Be prepared to appear however. It would be helpful to apply for child arrangements at the same time.

The application fee is £200 + any photocopying.

Do it urgently. It's less scary when it's done.

Thank you so much everyone

I take it from what you’ve said about the kids phoning to check he’s not there that they would prefer to live with you? They are at an age now where their views would be taken into account.
Definitely seek solicitor advice .