CherryCoke, been here 13 years and it USED to be supportive (in a non “hon/hun” type way).
It has broadened my horizons substantially, I’ve learned such a lot about all sorts, not just parenting. I like hearing about others’ life experiences, there is plenty to learn from people who have been there/done that and have advice ready to give to help others avoid repeating the same mistakes they did. I have learned not to pigeon hole people, to realise that my experience is not everyone else’s experience, and accordingly I judge others’ behaviour a hell of a lot less than I did in my 20s with little life experience (eg eating habits, or kids’ tantrums). As I get older I am finding it really helpful to read others’ experiences of supporting ageing parents, or dealing with terminal illness and bereavement. It’s an invaluable resource.
But I do wonder whether social media platforms like Twitter are spoiling supportive chat forums. I don’t really use Twitter. I ventured on it a couple of times last year and was completely shocked to see the ignorance and vitriol, some xenophobic, on some people posting about the Alfie Evans case. The short message format seems to be the perfect medium to jump in, call someone an evil baby killing twat, then jump out again. There doesn’t appear to be any comeback for these people as the list of responses gets huge and you’ll always have some idiots or jokers jumping in to support the first poster, just for the lolz to stir it all up.
I think this way of interacting with people has just spread from there so what were once supportive places, such as MN. People almost treat it like a sport, as if we are all bots sending out posts. I’m sure karma will get them eventually and someone will give them a slap in real life or tell them never to contact them again or something.
I’ve warned my two to take Twatter with a massive pinch of salt if they insist on joining it, and when going on other forums to assess carefully the way posts are presented and actually, to ignore most of it as ignorant, prejudiced shite, and take what practical info they can from it.
Problem is, vitriol and prejudice spreads, doesn’t it. So, OP, the more people come on here and read ignorant crap spouted
about step families, the more it becomes ingrained in their psyche as “just what you do” or “just how you behave.” I’m not sure that most people even realise they’re behaving like that. Problem is when you get outnumbered while trying to fight your corner and then it’s like being back in the playground at school.
Sometimes I think it is just better to approach real life friends for advice as at least then you will be told either you have a point, or gently told that maybe you might be in the wrong a little bit. But then not everyone has people they can approach in real life, which is where forums like MN become so potentially useful. Potentially damaging to people feeling fragile though, these days.