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Original poster

My library shame. How do I fix it?

45 replies

whocanbebothered · 21/08/2019 14:03

Inspired by the thread just now on AIBU re. CF'ers who don't return their library books on time

Years ago (memory is a fog for that time period, so somewhere in the region of 5-8 years ago), I used to visit the library often. As did my 2x DC. I was in a horrible marriage and after one particular episode I packed a couple of black bags and left. I left all the library books that myself and my kids had borrowed in that home and obviously it was the least of my worries at that time so never put much thouht into it until maybe the last 6 months. Now that the kids are older and on summer hols, they would love to spend some time at the library. I also very much miss visiting the library. I adore books and can spend literally hours choosing my books.

Anyways, is it possible for me to somehow become a member of the library again? I'm sure if I give them my name & DOB it will flag up on their system with screaming red alarms that I owe £90,000 on fines (I know it won't be that much but I do imagine it will be at least £30+ in fines which I can't afford to pay). I don't want to go into a big [slightly embarrassing as I don't want to air my dirty laundry] sob story to them about why I effectively stole their books as I can imagine they 1) don't care b) May not even believe it anyways.

Does anyone know the best way to proceed on this?

OP posts:
PristineCondition · 21/08/2019 14:05

Go in and talk to them. I bet they will be fine with you

PristineCondition · 21/08/2019 14:07

Sorry should of added, you don't have to tell them the full story but a small semi explanation should be alright.

museumum · 21/08/2019 14:08

I get it would be embarrassing and maybe upsetting to explain in person. I would email them. I’m sure they’ll understand. Just tell them you had to flee the family home leaving the books behind.

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Borisdaspide · 21/08/2019 14:08

You may be lucky. I rejoined the library after a gap of 10 years (stopped going because dickhead ex destroyed a book I couldn't replace) and they didnt have any record of me. I signed up this time online, maybe try that if your library does it?

NoBaggyPants · 21/08/2019 14:09

It's going to vary between areas but my local library staff are lovely and would write off the debt in the circumstances. Drop them an email and explain that you had to leave the books behind when you were escaping from domestic violence. At best, they'll cancel the debt. At worst, they won't cancel it but will reissue you cards so you can borrow again and pay off the debt when you're able.

LoonyLunaLoo · 21/08/2019 14:10

They’ll cancel your membership after a few years so you should just be able to start from scratch 😊.

MondayBakedPotato · 21/08/2019 14:10

I accidentally took a library book when we moved to the other side of the world for 3 years.
I went back to the library when we moved back. I paid the price of the book in fines.
Perhaps explain that you moved and the books got lost in transit? They will probably still have you on the system and will see what books you had. So they may just want you to pay the cost of the books and then it will be a clean slate? How many books did you have?
I am a CF who can barely get library books back on time, oops.

DelphiniumBlue · 21/08/2019 14:11

If it is the same borough, go in and own up. Maybe ask to speak to the manager in private - whilst you don't want to wash your d dirty linen in public, you will need to give some sort of brief explanation. They'll very likely let you off.
If it's a different borough, and your nearby library is not in the same consortium, probably worth just signing up anyway.

FaithInfinity · 21/08/2019 14:11

I had to replace a book we lost. They waived the fines because ultimately they wanted the book back!

Fairypiggy · 21/08/2019 14:12

I went back to the library with fines in my account after not going for around a year. I found the library had wiped the fines so as PP said you may be lucky.

SayOohLaLa · 21/08/2019 14:13

Go in when they first open for the day as they'll be quieter. Give them a few minutes to clear returned books etc. and say you'd like to speak to the staff member quietly when they have a moment.

The staff are likely to waive all such fines (my library would) and they'd be delighted to get you and your DC back as members. You're still in time for the kids to do the summer reading challenge if they'd be interested.

cakeandchampagne · 21/08/2019 14:13

Email the library or speak to someone privately there. I think they will be kind to you.

Herocomplex · 21/08/2019 14:15

It depends. Most systems will have dropped your details by now. And as your name is now against a different address you can deny that you are the same person, even if it comes up.
If you’re feeling honest you can pay off your fine in small amounts! But I bet it’s been written off.
Some library services will allow your DC’s to become members in their own right over a certain age.
Enjoy the library, they need customers!

Reindeerssmellbetter · 21/08/2019 14:16

I had a similar situation and the kids were able to join again but I wasn't unless I paid over £100 in fines. That was some years later as well. I couldn't afford it so I didn't rejoin myself.

Teacakeandalatte · 21/08/2019 14:17

I think they might simply write it off but if not they might be willing to do it as just paying for the books, this is what I had to do when I damaged a book. It was just paying for the value of the book.

Herocomplex · 21/08/2019 14:17

And you never know, the library books might have been returned by someone clearing your stuff?

Congrats on getting your life back together, by the way, it’s not easy 💐

DangerFrog · 21/08/2019 14:18

In my experience (worked in/used multiple libraries), after that length of time your details would have been removed from the system. In my current library (council), memberships have to be renewed every 3 years and data storage was tightened up when GDPR came in, so I'd be very surprised if your details were still on the system.

Go in and speak to them. Library staff are usually very helpful - especially if they think you're going to become a regular (and boost their user/borrower numbers!).

Teacakeandalatte · 21/08/2019 14:20

By the way if you are forgetful in general I find the online service a great help, they email if your book is coming up to its time and you can renew online.

Butterbeeeen · 21/08/2019 14:21

Potentially outing for me but hey ho. I once donated my library books to the charity shop by accident (had gone to charity shop en route to library) I admitted this and they found it hilarious to the point I still have not lived it down. I did eventually find the library books in the charity shop though and return them albeit late Confused

Herocomplex · 21/08/2019 14:26

Oh and if you lose a book most libraries will be happy enough if you buy a second hand replacement copy, as long as it’s in fair condition. (Take it to the desk obviously)

SpeedyShutter · 21/08/2019 15:06

We recently rejoined the library after I borrowed 2 books and lost and then forgot about them over 5 years ago. The books were still on the system but the librarian just wiped them off the system and let us rejoin. We didn't have to explain or replace book or anything. I'd been putting off going back and had been telling my dc that we were too busy for years because I was so ashamed but they were lovely! We've been 3x in the last 4 weeks borrowing ( and returning) books!

Knitwit99 · 21/08/2019 15:10

Say you had a house fire and a load of things had to get thrown away, and in the stress you forgot about the library books.

Or you could just say you had to leave the family home and couldn't get the books. You don't need to say any more than that.

Original poster
whocanbebothered · 21/08/2019 15:12

Thanks all. I looked it up online and I was able to fill in a form and easily register. It didn't flag up that my details were already on there so I'm hopeful it will be ok when I go in. I will need to ask them how I physically get a library card (assuming this is still a thing in this technological age?!) I hope they don't plug in my details re. getting a card and the alarms go off Grin Website says I have to fill in junior membership forms for my kids, so I will see at that time whether that flags anything up for their names. Hopefully we will be able to wing it! Although I do feel bad about the lost books still Blush

OP posts:
BlackCatSleeping · 21/08/2019 15:18

We had a library book that one of the kids accidentally destroyed. We had to replace it with a new copy and that was all. But I had confessed straight away. It sounds like you got away with it.

I remember when I was a kid, the library claimed my mum had lost a library book which she swore she had returned. Eventually she found it but just snuck it back on the shelf as she was too embarrassed to admit the truth.

GameSetMatch · 21/08/2019 15:26

You can usually donate books instead of paying the fine, find some good quality books in a charity shop and use then instead of paying the fee.