need of advice about my fiesty 10 year old

[Marnieisla]

Hi there, new to mums net. I'm having a difficult time with my 10 year old daughter. She is 11 in September. Back in May she had her first period. Its been regular since then. She has not dealt with it well. I was totally shocked too. I've helped her change pads and talked things through but she is rejecting the fact that this is happening, totally in denial. She says she doesnt want to be a grown up. And this has led to low self esteem and bad body image.
It's been a bad year she lost her nannie in Feb from a brain tumor, that was just 7 weeks from diagnosis. This hit us all hard. She was very close to her.
She is also studying for the 11 plus in Sept.
Now I now all of these things are very difficult. She's under pressure and life has changed.
My little girl now throws the biggest tantrums and meltdowns I've know, abusive to me and reducing me to tears. It's thrown me totally. I can't reason with her. I try to talk to her but she's too angry and raging. I've been to the gp. They gave me a number for family health service but my husband doesn't want to go down that route.
Other behaviour is odd also. Lots of questions about sexual things also. I'm wondering if anyone else is going through something like this? Help!

Hello. I have 2 DDs aged 15 and 17.
Puberty is a tough time for a kid. Just don’t act like a period means you’re a grown woman. People say that and it is really upsetting to a child. Periods, boobs, body hair- it’s just part of growing up like learning to walk, talk, read etc. Reassure her she is still a child and that she is just getting ready to be a big kid and teenager. That being a grown up is still a long way off. She’s not even halfway through school yet! She has secondary school and sixth form to look forward to.
My DD did some regression then and that is fine too. If she wants extra cuddles or to buy more stuffed toys etc just let it go. It’s part of the letting go process as a child goes towards teen years. They want reassurance that you as parents are still parents.
I’d answer any questions she may have about sex, body changes, body image etc. She will be getting info from school, friends and online so you are a good source to help her navigate that info and give her the perspective you want to it. It’s not really odd that she’s asking these questions. 10yr olds are very aware and smarter than people give them credit for.

On the anger, try and find out the root of that. If it is just mourning her nan and leaving behind young childhood, that is normal.
I don’t want to cause worry, but ten is a delicate age and she probably also needs a talk about appropriate touching and such? That if anyone, even a classmate, is doing inappropriate touching she needs to tell you and you will take care of it?