Tell me about the relationship between your older daughter and younger son

[Stringervest]

We have just received our NIPT results and found out that we are having a son next year. We are excited and so, so grateful.

However, it is a huge shock. Everyone in my family has girls. We have a DD who will be just 3 when the baby arrives and I had fondly hoped that she may be as close to a new baby sister as I am to my sister.

Of the female friends I have with younger brothers, none are particularly close, which I'm sure is simply a coincidence amongst my friends.

I have so few reference points for this. I'd love to hear stories from people about the relationship between their older DD and younger DS.

Very close and enjoy each other's company (2 year gap). Congratulations on your new baby - imo, pregnant mothers, myself included, spend a lot of time worrying about the impact on their existing child, try not to too much .

I’m a grown up big sister to a younger brother and we are very close, our kids are similar ages and we all spend a lot of time together so it’s possible! I have at least one other friend who has a similar relationship with her younger brother and a couple who aren’t close. I think it’s more down to personality than gender to be honest! Me and brother have lots in common and family is important to both of us

I think it is all down to personality ....
I was really close to my brother growing up, but have really drifted apart ... my husband was really close to his sisters growing up and now is closer to his elder brothers.

There is 2+ years between my elder girl and my son ... they have days of getting on brilliantly ..

My dd is 3 years older than my youngest son. They always had a close fun relationship, although she is closer to her older brother. She is an adult now, he mid teens, and she mocks him mercilessly but it is quite gentle and loving mocking.

It is a minor point, I know, but the best photos I have of my children together are the photos of dd with her little brother. The combination of older girl and younger boy just works so well photographically.

DD is 12, DS is 10. When they were very small, they were the best of friends, always played together even when not playing the same things (DD would build her animal hospital around DS train track etc). At this age they do tend to bicker if they're in each others space too much which was a nightmare when they had to share a room but thankfully we have moved and it's much more harmonious now they have separate rooms. They are still good friends and when we're on holiday or out for the day, are glued to each others sides for most of the day.

As a PP said, it's all down to personality really. I know a couple with no girls who seem to constantly be at each others throats, but they are very different girls. My own sisters are 2 years apart and barely speak now, and were never very close when they were young.

I wouldn't stress too much, although 8 know that's easier said than done.

Congratulations

My daughter is horrible to my son. She set that tone. If she had always been nice to him it could have gone the other way. Sad.

That was supposed to say 2 girls, not no girls. That wouldn't make any sense

DH has a sister who is 3-years-older than him and they've never got on. She just wasn't very keen on him from the beginning, apparently! This made me a bit nervous as we have a girl then a boy with the same age gap...

Luckily, ours get on really well. They're very, very different personality-wise but they seem to complement each other well. DD sticks up for DS and makes sure he's always included in things; he calms her down and makes her laugh when she gets too intense.

My DD is nearly 5 my DS is 3 she hated him at first now they are best friends and inseparable. Me and my brother were 18 months apart we hated each other growing up now we're in our mid 20s and both love each other and really close it's funny now when we look back

I could have written your post - 7 years ago! DH has sisters, I have sisters. We had a daughter and were convinced we'd have another. So the scan felt like a shock for both of us.

However. I could not love my son more, he's utterly delightful! He's the perfect boy for me :). So, if on any level you are worried how you will connect with a boy, it'll be fine! In terms of how my two children are with each other, I think they have a good bond. As PP have said it's down to personality more than anything - I know friends with two DDs who fight incessantly!

Full disclosure. They are currently arguing over the x box! But you know - all siblings do that! Good luck with your pregnancy xxx

I have a younger brother and I loved him from the second he was born. We’ve always got on brilliantly. Congratulations op, I’m sure your dd will love him

I am 3 years, 11 months older than my brother.

We got on well as children apart from a normal level of sibling bickering.

As adults we don’t live in each other’s pockets as neither of us are hugely sociable but do get on, enjoy each other’s company when we see each other, have some shared interests we enjoy and most importantly, I know we are on the same page with family stuff and we watch out for each other and have each other’s backs.

He went through a bit of a rebellious teen phase and still has the odd grump, but compared to some of what I hear on hear, I am pretty happy with my lot in the sibling department! We are similar enough to know exactly the level of relationship we’d like!

Mine have a 4 year gap. They’re grown up now and really good friends. There was a tricky couple of years when she was 12/14 he was 8/10 which took a lot of careful management but once we were through that everything was fine.

Like most siblings, expect them to drift apart as they get older.
I don’t know many people regardless of gender that speak to their siblings except at Christmas

Thank you everyone for all of your frank and generally very reassuring messages!

I sure you are right that it is personality rather than sex which sets the tone. I do fondly recall the great relationship I had with my sister but I think that could be with rose tinted glasses. We are very close now.

I had a few moments earlier where I grieved for the girl I thought I was having which I felt very ashamed and confused about, but now the idea has settled in I'm very excited and obviously tremendously grateful.

I have 3. 2 girls then a boy.
They all get on at times and at times bicker.
Ds is nearly in his teens and for the most part adores his sisters. Middle dd can be a bit jealous of him though, which can be difficult. Oldest dd mothers him to a certain extent.
They all do things in pairs, and the pairs vary, with all combinations. Which I find quite reassuring because I was in the same arrangement, and I honestly cannot remember big sister ever doing anything with little brother. Well, only if we were all involved. They had absolutely no interest.

But you don't know that you would have had 2 little sisters who loved each other. I know someone who thought that, and they couldn't stand each other. However one of them was very close to their little brother is a very sweet way.

I don’t know many people regardless of gender that speak to their siblings except at Christmas

Is this typical? I speak to my sibling most days (albeit online) as does DH with his.

It's all about personality not if they are the same sex. I have a sister 18 months older than me and we've always clashed and currently aren't speaking after her latest drama so it's all a bit pot luck! I do know plenty of others who have brothers who they are close to, my DH and SIL have a wonderful relationship with a 6 year age gap. Congratulations on your pregnancy!