Embarrassing pregnancy related incidents

[FindaPenny]

Did anyone else have any embarrassing shit happen to them when they were pregnant?

The worst incident for me was when I was about 17 weeks. So far I had only been sick once at night and we hadn't told anyone I was pregnant.

We were at my husbands uncle house and they were just chatting in the kitchen. I was in the living room watching who wants to be a millionaire when I had the urge to vomit. Instead of running to the bathroom like a normal person, I thought it would be a good idea to vomit in a half full glass of orange juice.... It wasn't! The glass became full in a second and most of the sick went inside the sleeve of my jumper. I called my husband and both him and his uncle came in and I had to explain what happened.... Both thought I had called them because someone had won the million😂

Another uncle then arrived and they drove us home with me vomiting every ten minutes or so.... which made for a pleasant hour long journey!

I had sickness throughout pregnancy too, I had HG for the first 4 months or so and it gradually lessened but I was still randomly sick now and then. Sick at work loads in the toilets and I used to keep those sick cartons from the hospital on my desk so when it suddenly came up I could run to the toilet and puke into that en route if I couldn't hold it in, which I did a few times. Everybody always completely ignored me during those times which was kind I think, then colleagues I was friendly with would ask me if I needed anything once I was out the toilets. It was gross. Lots of street vomiting on evenings where I probs seemed drunk before I had a visible bump. Lots of bus, plane, car, and taxi vomits as travel made it worse. I used to vomit multiple times on my walk to work the first month or so after I went back after some time off sick. I had to keep carrier bags in my handbag. Was gross and I never got over the embarrassment no matter how many times I was sick.

Regarding poo, I spent all of my pushing phase before I had the ventouse - which was not long, only about 30 mins before they decided baby was in distress and needed to come out quicker - repeatedly yelling "I'm pooing myself, im pooing myself!" and the midwifes and DH patiently explaining that I wasnt. Until one time they didn't say it because I actually did do a tiny poo. I genuinely remember that despite how distressed I was during the labour! And a bit drugged up but tbf the diamorphine will have mostly left my system by that point.

I got trapped wind so bad at work I ended up sat in the loo in agony. Fortunately I had the foresight to use the disabled loo 'just in case' because I was heavily pregnant and a teeny bit worried I might be going into labour. Eventually the pain got so bad I fainted. As I did so, I pulled the alarm cord (I'm a pro fainter after doing it so many times over the years so I knew what was happening). I woke up to find a male security guard stood over me looking pretty stressed. And then I farted.
I still see this guy every day.

I had a back to back baby giving me major contractions. I stood up to get the spinal block and had a huge contraction resulting in diarrhoea all over my legs and the anaesthetists shoes, promptly followed by "oh god I've shit myself!"

When I was in having Dd, ended up with a c section after meconium in waters, being induced, 21 hours on the drip, gas and air, pethadine. I was slightly out of it by the time we got to theatre. DH and I were talking, I was a bit disappointed that I hadn't managed to have a natural birth. But I whispered to DH "at least my fanny will still be intact". Of course I hadn't whispered it, the anaesthetist, surgeon and midwife were all laughing. Probably not the first time they've heard it though.

When I was 36 weeks pregnant, I was standing up in the bathroom whilst my DH was doing my hair. He told me a joke I laughed so much I wet myself, it wasn't just a little pee it was so much it went everywhere and I was laughing so hard I couldn't even sit down on the loo which was right next to me. Luckily my DH found it funny and even cleaned it up for me

Oh the pregnancy vom fest!! I used to drive to work through a small country park and would often need to stop and be sick.
I had my full kit of water plastic bags towel etc in the car. One morning an elderly couple who had been walking their dog got the wrong end of the stick and loudly told me off for driving whilst hungover and possibly still drunk...
Morning sickness the gift that kept on giving

I just got really gobby, I completely lost my filter. I once wound down my car window to tell a man he was "driving like a knob". He was driving like a knob, but still.... It was like something took over my mouth and I said what I was thinking. Thankfully, it quickly subsided and I reverted to my normal self!

woke up to find a male security guard stood over me looking pretty stressed. And then I farted.
I still see this guy every day. 

😂😂

Post-pregnancy: I had forceps delivery . We came back home with tiny baby. I had wind and passed gas loudly , then again. I couldn’t control it! My mum and auntie were with us, they found it funny, so did my DH. I was red

So many shameful moments. I’ll narrow it down to four. The time I felt wetness at the 40+1 midwife appointment and as the midwives couldn’t ascertain if my waters had broken or not, I was induced. They had indeed not broken. It was just arse sweat.

And then the three times, in my three labours when I shat myself. It was horrendous. The last time the midwife didn’t catch it all and I ended up cuddling my precious newborn whilst sitting in a pile of shit.

In my first pregnancy I ordered a Group B Strep testing kit and decide I wanted GP to take the swab. Lay on on the couch in his consulting room as directed. Just as he got up close and ready to go in with the swab I let out the most enormous fart. In his face.

When I was pregnant the second time I did the swab myself...

I embarrassed myself in the worst way in labour. I had to have emergency forceps but by this time I was pumped full of so many drugs and so out of it, I didn't have much of a clue what was going on.

As a side effect of the drugs though (I hope) I became a horrible, no filter, bitch! This poor midwife was telling me to push and I'm screaming at her "you fucking push, I'm not pushing, I can't, you fucking twat" etc.

Honestly, I was so mortified afterwards. I made my ex go find her and give her a written apology. It's like I knew I shouldn't be saying these things but I couldn't stop myself. Poor bugger only wanted to help!

Pregnant with dd, pretty much constant morning sickness fine between vomiting until the next wave of nausia. Had to have the apprentice pretty much shadow me as I could need to dash off at any moment. One morning she was stood between me and the door...

Same young lady needed to help me get shoes on and off during the last few weeks of me working. I worked up to 38+4, towards the very end covering for the manager/deputy, she was very worried I'd go into labour when they weren't there.

JustHere - he’s a keeper!!

My friend shouted out that she was having an orgasm when she meant contraction!

I have a few little silly high on gas and air moments- but nothing as funny as some of these! It must make the midwives smile. One said to me, “I love a woman on gas and air!”

I pooed in labour (big one too apparently) 🙈 but i couldn't have cared less.

I also had my waters broken... i could expect a 'gush' i was told. This coincided with the MW turning a tap on, god i panicked and thanks to the gas and air, found it hilarious when i asked 'is that me?' to a confused DH.

There's a thread in MN classics where a poor pregnant Mumsnetter went swimming and forgot to put on her tankini bottoms 😱 😂 her husband's reaction was hilarious!

fog cutter every time I think of the “your minge” thread, it still has me in stitches, all these years later. Absolute comedy gold!

I had a 39 hour labour with just gas and air. Just before the pushing stage the midwife said she needed to empty my bladder as baby was stuck and she was going to give me a catheter. My DH told me I said ‘well good luck to you on finding my wee-hole because in all my 33 years I’ve never managed to find it!’ Apparently there were lots of laughing but I was deadly serious!

What is the hyper dribble all about?!?, pre pregnancy I didn't have a problem but as soon as those two lines appeared I'd wake up with a soaking pillow. Wtf?

I was on a bus and wanted to move past someone to get to a seat down the back. The gap was only small so I turned sideways and was so much wider. that way I wedged myself in.

The look they gave me.

I vomited on my doctor when she called me in after being signed off sick with hg for a month. She signed me off for a further month at a time. Nothing medical worked and i could keep down some food and liquid so no need for a drip.

I had to announce my pregnancy 4 weeks early to MIL when i vomited all over her bathroom and wet myself at the same time.

I was sick in plenty of bins and bushes while walking the dog. Usually involved pissing my pants as well. In the end i gave up and just lay on the sofa for 6 months trying to keep down any food. Dh often came home at lunchtime to empty the bucket.

Currently 32 weeks pregnant with Second child. Went to local shop with DD for nappies. Coming out shop I noticed the car parked beside me at the side where the car seat was had the alarm going off. Even though I had nothing to do with it, my baby brain decided ‘why risk confrontation... if they come out and see a heavily pregnant lady getting a baby into the car they will think I have bumped theirs’ so I went to the other side and slid along back seats to get DD back in car seat.

Just at that the people parked at the other side appeared and I shut the door to let them in... clearly forgetting that child locks were on.

Normally this would not be an issue but my huge pregnant self took 15 mins to get from back seat into front of car. Car has electric windows etc so no way of opening back doors.

Lots of people passed and stared in at me... imagine a cartoon stuck in a wheelie bin with legs dangling out and you won’t be far off. I even tried reclining the front seats which just wedged me in even more.

I didn’t know it was possible to embarrass a 14 month old but my DD was giving me the biggest sarcastic death stare she could muster, wondering what on earth mummy was playing at!

@Wavingwhiledrowning I spat on my PC screen at this!!

Luckily no one was around for mine. I was sitting down and I sneezed three times, I realised fairly quickly that I had also wet myself. I went and washed and changed and came back to see there was a puddle on the couch (luckily it was leather!).

Around 41 weeks I went pottery painting with DH to pass the time as we awaited the birth. Was being super careful around all the shelves with my bump, but apparently hadn't realised how huge my backside had gotten - and smashed three cups onto the floor in one fell swoop, as I turned around. And then had to sit there for 2-3hs painting, holding back hormonal tears of embarrassment the whole time!

Thankfully they were super kind and only charged me cost, so about a fiver rather than the 50-odd quid I had expected (they price the items to include firing them etc, so it's quite expensive). Mortified.

My vertigo got much worse in pregnancy. The contrast between sunny areas and shadows in my work's reception area was especially bad after lunch in summer. So by 7 months, I'd go get my lunch, come back in, and invariably fall over. I had SPD so needed the security guards not to touch me until I got up. We got it down to a fine art, a security guy would take my lunch off me and pass it back once I was safely inside, but at least every other day someone would loudly bollock the poor security guys for not helping...

I'd had to admit I was pregnant after puking over my boss's feet.

Finally got to Christmas morning, when BIL tripped over me in the bathroom at 6am. My unconscious, vomit-covered, naked body... He normally takes the piss no end but has never mentioned it.

Had to be transferred in labour from the MLU to consultant-led ward. I was naked and hot and DH kept throwing a sheet over me and I couldn't bear anything touching my skin so kept throwing it back at him and yelling. I brought this up later as the only time in labour he hadn't been supportive.

He pointed out that to get between the wards we'd had to go in the public lift, and he'd thought covering me was what I'd want,rather than showing 500 strangers my tits and arse...