Would you quit? I'm so torn.

[WhatNoNotYouAgain]

My job is slowly driving me insane. I'm under qualified for it (long story but I was basically internally promoted because our CE could not be arsed to go out to recruit). But the main problem is there is no decent leadership and no proper planning. This is not likely to change any time soon. I am contracted for four days but I am working every day along with most evenings and weekends at the moment. If it was any other job I'd walk but:

1. it's very very flexible. I mostly work from home, my hours are flexible, I can have a sick DC at home if needed.

2. it's much better paid than similar jobs in the same sector.

My DH is the main breadwinner (in a job he enjoys) - I don't technically "need" to work but I desperately want to to have financial independence and bring in some more money. However, I am so stressed and feel myself burning out.

WIBU to quit and find something else even though I'd be taking a big pay cut?

In these circumstances, both at home and work, I would leave and then put all of my efforts into finding work (or retraining) that is a better fit.

I could easily find another job, I've looked and there's plenty out there. The third sector is quite family friendly in general too so I could probably also wangle some flexibility.

But I don't know what I would say to employers as it would be obvious I was taking a paycut and going for less responsibility.

As soon as you mentioned you work for a small charity my instant thought was leave. It will never improve. Resign and look for another job before this role decimates your confidence and mental well being.

If people truly understood the internal workings of some charities they would never donate again. There is nothing you can do to change the dynamics, as you have financial options I would resign and find another job.

I agree with DerelictWreck and similar PPs.

You need to decide the boundaries that you as an individual want to guide your life and stick to them. You accept whatever consequences that has for your job, family or yourself because the boundaries are yours and to support your life. That said, you also keep an open mind about adjusting the boundaries in case, as the consequences become clearer, you as an individual consider the adjustments worth it to avoid the consequences. For example if your children are missing out on a calm mum, and you really want them to grow up with a calm mum then you might change the amount of stress that you were prepared to accept in return for financial independence and working from home.

I also think you should leave. User1474s checklist is excellent. I would definitely go through the steps in it which if nothing else will be a great basis for your cv and also as a handover document for the next person. If you are sure things will not change then you also need to consider who will write your reference when you apply for other jobs and also who will carry the can if things go wrong whilst you are still there. Personally my self preservation instinct would be kicking in and I would be applying for other jobs now whilst remaining as pleasant and co-operative as I could whilst still there. Life is short.

Most areas have a Charity Mentors scheme, where you get paired up with an experienced mentor from another third sector organisation, who can help you create a strategy for whatever area of your work you need help with. They are your mentor, not the charity's, and could help you pick your way through whether there are problems in the way you're working that you could improve, or whether the problem is wider governance, and if so how to deal with that, etc. In a worst-case scenario, they could tell you whether this is a situation that won't improve and you are better off out of. It could be a last thing to try if you're reluctant to leave immediately.

I'm actually on the waiting list for a mentor at the moment.

There just isn't time to list all the things that is wrong with the way everything is run. I don't doubt an experienced operations manager could come in and do the work ok (though I think they'd still be at the culture and organisational structure). But it takes me longer because I do not have all the knowledge nor experience I need.

When I've talked to the CE before she's basically said that it's normal in a small charity for the CE not to have oversight of the governance and finance. I've worked in the third sector since I graduated from university eight years ago and that isn't my experience at all.

It sounds as if you desperately want to leave but are embarrassed to explain why, so maybe one last attempt at making it work ?

I know there is no budget for overtime , but could you change your contract to full time as it sounds as if you're working the hours anyway and they are fairly relaxed about how you put your time in.

Failing that can you start telling your CE what you can and cannot do in the allocated time. For instance it is patently ridiculous to expect you to come up with a funding proposal in an afternoon, so why didn't you say so ?

Maybe give it one last chance by being very explicit with the CE about your bandwidth and then if nothing changes in a month or so, then leave.

Sounds horrendous!
It also sounds quite risky if you’re taking all the responsibility. Are you audited? Do they sign off things you do with no oversight?
I once did Gift Aid reclaim for a charity, it hadn’t been done for years and was a pita.
💐

How about you take a sabbatical and that way folks will realise the sheer amount of work and responsibility you have.

If you dont need the money, this will give you time to think and plan your career. Actually it sounds like you dont know what to do because you are too frazzled.

I think you’re being exploited by the way, I think you’d be better off changing your job, and improving your conditions of employment. You’ll earn more eventually anyway, you sound hard-working!

Another former charity sector worker here. Get out while you can. It sounds awful!

The CEO has a huge impact on the culture of a charity, IME, and yours sounds... not great. While she’s there it seems unlikely to change. And if my experience is anything to go on, they will let you run yourself into the ground and they won’t feel even the slightest twinge of guilt or regret about it - they’ll turn it around to being your fault, because you weren’t ‘good’ enough or ‘strong’ enough.

Don’t let them do it to you, op.

Actually herocomplex makes a great point, I'd be really worried about being held responsible for information being wrong or incorrectly filed or something as I think for charities - but I could be wrong- there is an element of personal accountability.

As you don't technically need to work I would do the following:

Stick to your working hours BUT put in writing (daily)

These are the tasks that are urgent that I will not be able to meet the deadline for.

Ensure as much as possible that they are tasks for which they are legally responsible and tell them that and the consequences of them not doing them.

Do the charity a favour by giving them the huge kick up the but they need...

In terms of new employers could you say that you moved into a new role and didn’t feel it was a good fit. Having been at one organisation for x years you value the opportunity to move to a new employer with different challenges. You have... experience and qualifications that you feel suit the role you are applying for.

To the PP who mentioned being careful with current employer because of references, it’s standard now for a reference to say no more than “I confirm that x person worked here in Y role from a date to b date.” Too much hassle with potentially actionable comments otherwise.

I would leave, but find the new job first. In terms of what you say at interviews: I’d be fairly (selectively) honest and say you were doing two jobs, there was supposed to be a second person but the funding didn’t materialise and it became unmanageable. Third sector employers will be familiar with the problem, you’re not bad mouthing your ex bosses, and it also makes it clear you won’t put up with the same again.

Look for another job, better to leave with one lined up, as you don't have to explain why you left to a future employer, just why the new job is better.