I feel like a bloody awful parent

[Abouttime1978]

I just cannot seem to get it right.

Kids are 7, 5 and 2.

We are on holiday - and I'm hating every minute. Kids are hyper and overtired and it's just the same shit, different place - without the Lego etc to keep them occupied.

The 5 year old has some anxiety issues and (according to the child psychologist we've seen) some autistic traits, but not sufficient to place him on the spectrum.

He is constantly driving me mental and I can't seem to get a grip of it. I can manage all the suggested parenting tactics for a couple of weeks - and then I lose the plot because he doesn't seem to take it on board.

The 2 year old is mid terrible 2's - so the pair of them together are a nightmare.

The 7 year old appears to be having some hormonal mood swings already.

I'm not the most patient anyway, but I feel like I'm losing my grip totallly at the moment.

Argh! What the hell do I do?

OP this sounds tough.

Do you have someone else with you? If so then leave them to it and go and have a bit of time to yourself to recharge your batteries. You can’t pour from an empty
Cup.

Go and take a break and I bet things will be easier when you feel a little refreshed.

Take it in 10 min chunks and just make it to bed time. They WILL all go asleep eventually and then make sure you stay up a bit with a cup of tea and a biscuit/very large alcoholic drink and enjoy the peace.

it's just the same shit, different place

That’s what attempting to go on holiday with kids is like. Same old thankless back breaking work except you pay for the privilege to endure it somewhere different.

Is there the option to leave them at home next time?

They are all now asleep.

DH has a stomach bug so has been out of it for the last 24 hours.

Sigh, we are visiting family so can't really not come here.

I've had some chocolate, read up on parenting strategies. And come up with a plan to tackle him tomorrow.

Already booked a two week holiday for next year, and then returning here for a week. Argh!

Cannot wait to get back to school runs and normality. DS really struggles with being out of routine.

Hi OP

Your 5 year old sounds very similar to my eldest DS who is a little bit older ( similar diagnosis). I’m sure you have done this already but ( and it is a bit of a pain!) I try even on holiday to have some kind of routine for him - even just meals at a similar time. I also do him a planner for the holiday so he knows what is happening each day for the week, how long he is on holiday for ( I have a calendar with days on holiday highlighted in a certain cookie then the activities listed) including when he is going home. I try to go through it briefly with him each evening ( although don’t always ).

I also try to reduce ‘hanging around time’ - you know that bit when everyone sort of floats around without a decision being made as it seems to make him worse. As does too much choice - so would say we can do this or this - rather than open ended questions etc.

Sorry I’m probably teaching you to suck eggs here but thought I’d mention incase helpful! I’m a single parent so have lots of strategies to deal with him! If it’s any consolation he is now 7 and this year has definitely been a lot better ( he has also made huge progress working with his Ed psychologist on his anxiety and social skills plus strategies for hi to deal with it ( and his anger).

I’d even go as far as to say I enjoyed the majority of the holiday this year!

Thanks @BigmouseLittlehouse that does help.

I don't know why I didn't think of that! I've just put up a weekly calendar at home so he can see what is happening on which day, and when homework needs to be done etc.

I'll sit down with him tomorrow and go through it.

Xxx

I hope it helps a bit. I honestly do know how you feel - I am also not patient and often feel like a total failure as a parent. Also I find a lot of the more ‘regular’ parenting tips just don’t seem to work with him. Even though I’ve read some of the books often recommended ( the explosive child and some for SDHD which my DS has traits of etc) actually speaking to his Ed Psych has somehow really helped me to understand my DS a bit more - although I have to admit I did end up standing in the hotel corridor with him in the room when in holiday! And strangely the holidays at my family’s are often the worst!

Hope you manage to have an ok time and some fun.